How Do I Orgasm Quicker - Since Menopause Takes Forever

Hi Betty:

I am 51 years old and going through menopause. I am not on any HRT and really do not have any menopausal symptoms. My problem is it takes me a long time to orgasm. I use sex toys (vibrator/bullet), but my clitoris does not seem to respond right away, sometimes it can take up to an hour for me to climax/orgasm. My partner also does things to stimulate me and it feels good, but it just takes me so long. It feels like I do not have sensitivity in my clitoris. I get aroused and I get wet down there when I do get excited, is there something possibly wrong?

I think I have a hooded clitoris, which may not be helping, or do you think it could be hormones at this point. I do not want to take any hormones if I do not need them right now. I have talked to my OB/GYN and I had wanted some testerone, but she said that there wasn't anything that was really approved by the FDA to give me. Do you have maybe any other suggestions that might make me have an orgasm quicker! I do masturbate also, but even then it takes forever. Thank you!

Dear Diane,

Are you talking about having an orgasm or catching a plane? What's the big hurry, especially when it comes to giving yourself a little time to enjoy a little sexual pleasure? Taking up to an hour or even more to have an orgasm is well within the range of average, especially for a woman in her fifties or older.

Many of my clients have trouble with their orgasms because so many women measure their response to that of their male partners. Most men are able to come with 4 minutes of thrusting after penetration. Even a man who has learned "come control" will come within 15 to 30 minutes. Then there are women, myself included, that have always needed 45 minutes to an hour or more to have a nice big orgasm. You definitely have sensitivity in your clitoris or you wouldn't be coming at all. And forget about the "hooded clitoris" which is basically a myth. All of our clits have a hood over the glans just like a penis that's not circumcised.

If you insist upon speeding up your sexual build-up (foolishness) get a Magic Wand vibrator and a copy of my book Orgasms for Two. The Wand will astonish your clit way beyond that vibrating egg (kid's stuff) and my book will support you to take your time but if you don't come before he does (if this is this your goal?) then I offer many suggestions as to what couples can do. Honestly, it sounds to me like you're doing great. So relax and enjoy yourself.

Dr. Betty