How Do I Become a Sex Coach?

I have just started reading your book Sex For One. Bravo! Thank you for helping me start to destroy this huge wall I have built around myself for the past 23 years. I have purchased many books and plan on studying sex and relationships from home. I have been interested in this field for about three years now. I want to know if there is any advice you can give me as to what texts I should study. I want to be able to coach people to be better lovers, by themselves and with others. Your book is amazing and hard to put down. I am a full time mum of two under the age of 4, I am a vegan and a seeker of knowledge. Any advice will be deeply appreciated Betty.Thank you for your time.

One Love,
S

It's always nice to be appreciated. Thanks for your compliment.

How to Become a Sex Educator, Counselor, Therapist, Researcher or Sexologist.

As far as I know, the only undergrad program in sexology is at the University of Quebec. The University of Minnesota has an excellent program and offers advanced degrees. For educational opportunities, check out Quad S, the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality: http://www.sexscience.org/resources/index.php?category_id=492

The most common course for entering the field of sexuality is usually the study of psychology. However, many sex researchers, educators, therapists and sexologists have had backgrounds in medicine, sociology and nursing to name a few. One of our best sex researchers Alfred Kinsey was an entomologist studying gall wasps. Alex Comfort the author of The Joy of Sex was a zoologist. Some sex educators have studied Eastern teachings of Tanta and Taoist religions. Others began their careers working for sex stores. Some women had backgrounds in the Adult Industry. My background was the study of fine art. So there are many paths to become involved in the field of human sexuality.

Earning a degree in psychology and getting certified as a sex therapist can be beneficial and also restrictive if you want to stray from the traditional path. In terms of how people will respond to you, letters after your name will always help. However, in my opinion, words alone won't solve the problem of teaching sexual skills. We learn how to dance by dancing. As an artist, I learned how to draw by drawing. My Ph.D. in clinical sexology came from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco (IASHS), a private school offering advanced degrees in Sexuality. Mine was based upon twenty years of field work running workshops for women, a book I'd written on female masturbation and a video documentary I produced of the workshops. All of this happened long before I had any credentials as a sexuality educator. I was simply a brazen feminist determined to change how society viewed female sexuality by liberating masturbation. It's been quite a ride and I'd do it again in heartbeat.

What I like best about the field of sexology is that it's considered descriptive, not prescriptive: It attempts to document reality, not to prescribe what behavior is suitable, ethical, or moral. I have never wanted to be a licensed sex therapist as it would actually prohibit hands-on Sex Coaching. Any therapist that physically touches a client can lose her license. That law and the litigious nature of many Americans have kept people fearful of including touch in the therapeutic process that I personally feel is essential for sexual healing.

The one exception to the no-touch rule is the use of a surrogate partner under the supervision of a licensed therapist certified by AASECT (American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists). Surrogacy is primarily done with a woman trained to work with a male client in tandem with his therapist. Due to our sexual double standard, there are very few male surrogate partners for women. In a sense, the way I teach masturbation skills to individual women could be seen as a form of surrogacy. Except I teach my client how to have sex with herself. Once she learns about her own sexual responses, she can share that information with her partner(s). To date, there has been no precedent established for the practice of surrogacy or Sex Coaching, so they remain gray areas.

As each person continues their schooling, hopefully they will take time to enjoy their own sexuality. I believe experience is still one of our best teachers. I encourage everyone who has a desire to become a sex educator to do so. An important part of America's future will depend upon educating people about the pleasurable aspects of human sexuality.

Betty A. Dodson, PhD Sexologist