How Can I Have an Orgasm During Sex (from his penis)?

Dear Betty

I'm 18 and am very open sexually. I can talk to my boyfriend about anything sexual and anything I want he'll do, so I know this isn't a matter of me being inhibited or him unenthusiastic. I can easily make myself cum through clit stimulation but I absolutely can not cum through intercourse alone, under any circumstances (trust me I've tried!) I can have great sex for 2 hours, and nothing. I've tried every position in the book, yet it does nothing for me in terms of orgasm. As well, my bf can't make me cum even through clit stimulation. I wonder if it's because I seem to have alot of skin covering my clit (certainly way more than I see in porn and even in your gallery) that i have to work it in such a particular way. He can spend forever on my clit and it'll feel great, but only i can make it happen!

The ONLY way I can cum with my boyfriend is by him fingering me while I rub my clit. These orgasms are GREAT but few and far between and I find myself so horribly jealous of girls who can just cum through intercourse (and those who can ejaculate? EVEN MORE JEALOUS.) I feel so inadequate. I know a lot of other people are like me, but WHY? What makes people like me unable? It seems awfully unfair for someone like me who enjoys sex so much and just wants to experience every aspect of it (especially the so-called BEST aspect of it that I'm apparently missing.) I'm so jealous of these girls who can just get right off! Do I have to go my whole life without ever experiencing this? HELP!

Dear J,

Feeling jealous and full of envy of other women is self-defeating. Besides so many women fib about all those fabulous orgasms from intercourse. The same thing happens in commercial porn that is NOT sex education but entertainment primarily for men. Trust me there is nothing wrong with you clitoris. How about you fingering your clit during intercourse? Get my book Orgasms for Two and read it with your boyfriend. However you masturbate simply include that during vaginal penetration. A lot of other girls are like you because sex information in this country is sadly lacking. We are getting porn or Hollywood and that's based on what men want not women. I did the same thing, blaming myself because I couldn't come during intercourse and then I discovered I had to learn how to female ejaculate. Yet another parlor trick to master just to please my lover. Take some time to read some of my essays on the site. Check out "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm" by Anne Koedt. She saved my sexual sanity back in the seventies.

Dr. Betty