Help...Can't Masturbate To Orgasm Anymore!

Tue, 09/09/2008 - 13:09
Submitted by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,
I'm in deep need of assistance. I used to be able to masturbate, and come to orgasm all the time and every time, when I was a child to mid adolescent age. Unfortunately I had a few experiences of my mom catching me masturbating, and basically condoning it. Then during my high school years I began to masturbate more so than usual to deal with the stress of working on my portfolio. And during that time something happened. The guilt surrounding me getting caught, thinking I'm doing something wrong, and me pleasuring myself started to eat away at me, and there were a few times where I couldn't achieve climax. Then during college I was so busy I practically stopped masturbating. I basically forgot about it. But the few times I did it, I don't think I climaxed, and at the same time I didn't ponder about why. I was just too busy to delve into it. So my mind basically ignored it.

Then about two years ago I finally realized that I have a problem. I can masturbate, and get a VERY intense arousal, and just before I'm about to cum the sensation will plateau, and just sort of fizzle out. During the few times when I get very aroused, I can actually feel the blood slowly leaving my loin area, as opposed to letting out all at once, like it does during an orgasm. Now I can't orgasm through masturbation, sex, oral sex, foreplay...nothing. I have a boyfriend, and let's just say sex between us is complicated. What can I do about this? I know I'm normal in terms of my sex drive, I just can't do anything about it. And I know I do need to relax, but I don't know how to do that. Please help me,

Jen

Dear Jen,

The fact that your mom caught you masturbating and condoning it should have been a positive message. You make it sound like it created a problem. What I hear is a young women who is who is a nonstop worker and a high achiever. It sounds like you are now trying to perfect the achievement of orgasm. Calm down Darling! Go to the section on my website called "How to have your first orgasm" and you will come again and again. Orgasm is not about "relaxing" but knowing how to use your mind (a hot fantasy) and your body with pelvic movements, the PC muscle and breathing with a finger, tongue or vibrator on your clitoris. Enjoy!

Dr. Betty