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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Ask Betty ›

Hate Being a Woman Because It's So Hard to Orgasm

Published September 22nd by Betty Dodson
in

Much of the time i hate being a female because it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to orgasm through sex. Why did God make it so difficult for women to orgasm and so easy for men to orgasm through sexual intercourse? I would want to engage in sex with him if it was more pleasurable for me. I think most women would agree.

Dear P,

Hating your femaleness is self-defeating. And yes, intercourse would be more pleasurable if all women could orgasm from it like men. But humans are pretty smart and some of us gals have figured out ways to even the orgasm score. For instance, once we get REALLY turned on, we are bottomless pits of pleasure. In fact, many men have been intimidated by women's orgasmic capabilities. For me and many other liberated women, this is where the electric vibrators come in. Since God didn't have electricity back then, He had no way of knowing what he had wrought by giving us a clitoris that's designed purely for pleasure! Get my book "Orgasms for Two" and check out the info there. Once a woman takes charge of her primary sex organ the clitoris, she can rock and roll for hours with a vibe of her preference. Time for you to do some experimenting.

Dr. Betty

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I agree with Betty.

Christina Cicchelli's picture
Submitted by Christina Cicchelli on Tue, 09/22/2009 - 22:08.

I agree with Betty. Sometimes, our obsession over our orgasms causes a cloud of frustration, which inevitably leads to "is there something wrong me" or "why can't I orgasm faster..." and so on and so forth. For me, frustrations when, after I can't achieve the orgasm, I realized that I was so feverishly trying to obtain it, I had lost my sense of pleasure and how I arrived to that precipice. I had to teach myself how to masturbate all over again, which is never a bad thing. More me time! Plus, I would touch myself whenever. I would break routine. My clitoris became tactile, suddenly attaching itself wherever it could. My mind churned and bubbled with fantasies. This is where the experimentation (or, in this fashion, play) comes in. Just keep having fun, and never make the lack of orgasm a negative experience. Your pleasure is paramount. And it is well-deserved. 

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.christinacicchelli.com

...faster orgasms?......

Submitted by Mark I. (not verified) on Wed, 09/23/2009 - 15:59.

........if you are wishing for faster orgasms then sex for you must not be much fun.

My own experience is that my partners pleasure comes before mine and I want to HELP her with as many orgasms as she feels she needs or wants and THEN I have mine. Actually.......I and my partner absolutely love the long foreplay that leads to her orgasm and savor the time spent achieving it. Sometimes the longer she takes to reach her orgasm the stronger the orgasm is. Then....once the pump is primed.......the sky is the limit.....

Sex is not a race. There is no finish line.....this type of thinking is not only ruining the party for you.....but it has a detrimental effect on your partners enjoyment of the time he spends with you.

Slow down and enjoy the experience........it IS magical.

Mark I.

P.S. I am going on SIXTY and she and I learn something new each time we make love.

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