Can't Have Consistent Orgasms

I'm sure this question has been brought up several times but I have to ask for myself...I spent 2.5 years in an abusive relationship when the main goal of sex was for my boyfriend to orgasm, not me. I was just used to letting him use me to get his nut off. I thought I was passed that when I had sex with my next partner and had orgasms no problem. Now I'm in another serious relationship, my next relationship since the bad one, and I can't consistently have an orgasm. Sometimes I can and it's great but I can only do it once.

My partner is used to making his partners reach multiple orgasms in one sitting. He is frustrated not only because he can only make me orgasm once each time, but also because I don't always orgasm. He's the type that won't orgasm until I do so it does put some pressure on me as well. I know that pressure and past relationships can affect my chances of orgasm but I want to know if there is something I can do to make this better. I want to orgasm and I usually come very close to doing it but the problem arises when the feeling of coming close to having an orgasm suddenly goes away and I can't do it. We've tried multiple positions and clitoral stimulation along with penetration. So at this point I'm not sure why it's happening...he seems to think it's a mental block from my past relationship. I just want this to be fixed because it takes a toll on our relationship. Please help!

Dear R,

Instead of having a mental block, it appears to me you have traded one abusive lover with NO orgasms to a new abusive lover who demands you have MULTIPLE orgasms! I suggest you consider why you feel obliged to have the kind of sex that he wants or expects or claims to have had with other women? Does he constantly need you to bolster his ego by performing for him like a pornstar?

Where is it written that a woman must come with every sexual encounter? Or that she must come more than once? He is putting so much pressure on you it's a wonder you can muster up an orgasm at all. No one "makes" us come. We are the authors of our own sexual expression and we create our own orgasms. It more like a dance with each partner taking turns leading and following. He's using your body to to prove that he is the BEST lover in the world with every fuck! His demands are taking a toll on your relationship. It's time for you question what YOU want which means pleasing yourself instead of trying to please whatever man you are with. Perhaps it's time to consider some good sex counseling for yourself or as a couple.

Dr. Betty