Can You Break Your Clitoris?

Betty Dodson's picture
Mon, 01/12/2009 - 15:28
Submitted by Betty Dodson

I am wondering if you can break or damage your clitoris. I used to be able to orgasm via clitoral stimulation. I used to be able to think fantasy or nasty thoughts to help me along the way. It would take me a while, but the orgasms were lengthy and strong. I recently had a tubal ligation and I think something happened because I no longer can help myself with nasty thoughts and I can barely feel my clitoris and have little or no "feelings" like I used to in that general area. It doesn't even get hard.

I am extremely frustrated and don't know where to turn. I have asked my gyno, but he's a man and I don't think he believes me. I am only 41 and everyone (including him) says I'm too young for menopause. I know it still works because I can use a very strong vibrator and after a while can reach orgasm, but it is not as strong or lengthy as before. Help! I don't feel like a woman anymore and I am very sad and frustrated. Is there hope for me?


Dear M,

It's doubtful that your clitoris has been damaged. Many of us go through some kind of surgical procedure or health crises and we are convinced it has affected our sexual responses. I'm suggesting that when we begin to compare ourselves to a more youthful and sexual time, we all fear we are losing ground. The truth is our sexual response pattens do change over time. By the time I reached my forties, I definitely had to have the stronger stimulation of my vibrator in order to come.

Give your body some time to adjust to the surgery and continue to enjoy your orgasms with a vibrator. As we grow older we change, our bodies change and our sexuality changes. How about getting some new and hotter fantasies and include vaginal penetration along with clitoral stimulation at the same time. In other words, enhance your masturbation with some new toys and by all means, stop comparing now with then. Stay in the moment. If none of this works for you, some short term counseling might be in order. Let me know how things work out for you. Trust me, you are still a sexual woman.

Dr. Betty



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Loss of feeling in clitoris

Mon, 11/18/2013 - 14:35
MU (not verified)

Hi Betty:  

My new partner and I were masturbating.  After an hour of grinding and harsh stimulation to my clitoris, I felt my clitoris go numb.  There is no pain, no burning or tingling. Although for two days there was a sensation of bruising but that went away.  It's been three weeks and it's still numb with no sexual response, no arousal, and no engorgement to the clitoris and labia.   

I would say that the nerves got damaged -- do those nerves repair themselves?  How long would it take?  Will sensation return?  I have avoided touching the area to avoid further damage but don't know if I should gently rub it to stimulate blood flow.   I even went to the doctor who said that nerve damage can take a long time to heal.  She said to return in 3 months if there is no improvement and she would refer me to a Gyn.  And she suggested B vitamins to help with nerve repair.

I'm very upset and nervous.  I'm 35 and have finally found someone who arouses me with only a thought and now it's been taken away and I'm worried and sad that it may not return.

I love your website and the help and information you provide.  Thank you. MU

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Betty Dodson's picture
Tue, 11/19/2013 - 16:55
Betty Dodson

 The body heals the body. Taking Vitamin B is good, but feeling desperate willl only slow down your healing. Giiving yourself a vulva massage with some organic massage oil (vitamin E would be great for a gentle clitoral massage) will bring new blood into the entire area. Also focussing on postive thoughts about the success of your healing is a good idea. Meamwhile, give your new wonderful boyfriend lots of manual and oral sex until your clitoris regains feeling.

Dr. Betty

During sex recently my

Mon, 09/15/2014 - 07:37
Anonymous2984 (not verified)

During sex recently my partner was over eager and has damaged the inside of my clitoral hood, it's red and sore and at times doesn't hurt but it's been at least a month now and although we've been a in sex we've avoided rubbing the area and not touched it at all. It's still sore red and very tender. How long will this take to get back too normal?

Clitoris pain for 1 year

Sat, 05/23/2015 - 13:43
G.Bra (not verified)

Hi, Betty!
[= 12.8000001907349px]My ex boyfriend did oral sex on me very violently towards pulling too hard on my clit. At that time I felt something tear inside and I gave a scream of pain.[/]
It's been one year and I still feel pain on the inside of the clitoris, the part that is not exposed. I've been in more than 10 gynecologists and none asked any examination or solved the problem. Stand this situation for 1 year. What once gave me pleasure now it's just pain. He ruined my sex life. I went into depression and now do not really see more grace in life. I don't know if any surgery is necessary [= 12.8000001907349px]or magnetic resonance [/][= 12.8000001907349px]shows what happened there. Is there anything that shows?[/]
I am very grateful if you can help me and congratulations for your site.

Did my childhood accident affect my sex libido?

Sat, 06/04/2016 - 23:02
concerned female (not verified)

I am 26 years old and I've been realizing that I'm not sure if my sexual life is being affected due to an accident that has happened to me when I was most likely 7 years old. 
This might seem confusing for most but I did not get engaged in any sexual contact with anyone, nor going through sexual abuse by any stranger or relative at this age. (just to clarify why this happened so young at age)

The reason I'm writing this is because, when I was in boarding school on my first year, I used to be very very hyper kid, loved adrenaline in sports and playing games with other kids after school while waiting to get picked up. The school had decorative metal fences with pointy parts that sadly wasn't high enough for a kid to not jump or passing over, and I know that it was stupid of me to decide to try passing over it, and one time I slipped and hurt myself, at the time I didn't know if my clitoris was even a thing, let alone an important asset for pleasure and happiness for relationships and to make yourself better. I remember coming home in pain, it was slightly like a period cramp kind of pain but focused on my clitoris and there was blood. I wasn't developed enough to have period during that year either, so I thought it wasn't something bad when I was injured. I never told my parents about it, and it started healing randomly on its own. 
But as I grew older, during teen years I realised my clitoris don't look the same as others. I don't get sexual urges, and even if I do my body would only react by very strong mental boost of sexual ideas and stuff but not enough to urge me to masterbate, and I've never experienced a true orgasm. I tried multiple times to touch myself but it gets uncomfortably sore when I tried stimulating myself with touching my clitoris. I get slightly wet but not enough to increase my need to masterbate more and it start's becoming painful. 

I only get the urge to masterbate with objects like once a month or over 3 months, I remember not self pleasuring for half a year, I could even sometimes count the times per year I would touch myself. (I even questioned my sexuality because of all of this, by thinking I might be asexual.)
I tried looking up for answers online to see if anybody else has had accidents like this but no recourses and it's been depressing me to the point of sometimes crying, wondering if I am the only person who has gone through this. 
I'm not sure on what to do at this point. I haven't had successful relationships due to my sexual urges being nonexistant when my ex partners wanting sex with me, sometimes I've even just had sex just to please them while I felt nothing but hidden discomfort.
I'm just very upset that I might not be able to be fixed if there is nothing that can help me have what I want. I don't know who to talk to about this in my family either. I live with my mother but we've never ever discussed about sex and relationships, let alone masterbation. It's very embarrassing and makes me ashamed to bring this up and downright uncomfortable if I tell her all of this.

I just wish to have an advice from a knowledgable person before I build the courage to tell her all of this.
I am sorry if this post is very long but I feel better finally writing it down, but will you provide me any answers and advice? I really don't know what to do. 

Hello! When I was a kid, we

Tue, 07/11/2017 - 23:34
ScaredAndCinfused (not verified)

Hello! When I was a kid, we had some metal pole and used it for limbo. Unfortunately I jumped over it and they smashed it right up there! Honestly I dont feel anything from the clot and wondering if it got damaged at a young age due to that? Thank you!