Sex Features

Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars Walking to my studio on West 29th Street early one morning, I ran into a man who had worked as a commercial artist for my former husband. Sergio DiNolti had been fat and homely, but the man standing in front of me was trim and very muscular with a lean, appealing face. As I admired his miraculous change, he said...
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars Growing up in Wichita in the forties, I didn't even know gay people existed until I moved to New York City in 1950. I'd just turned twenty. A year later when I enrolled in the Art Student's League, a woman in my class had a crush on me. When she flirted it made me uncomfortable, so I mostly avoided her. Still I...
Excerpt from Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution In 1966 I was having the best orgasmic partner sex of my life with a brilliant English professor who had recently quit academia over politics. He was forty-two. I was thirty-six and had been separated six months from a sexless seven year marriage. He'd been divorced a year from a seventeen year...
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars After my first successful exhibition of heterosexual lovers in 1968, I found myself on a popularity skyrocket. Having a show of erotic art was like displaying a big advertisement that I'd be fun in bed. Many interesting Prince Charmings were available to me as I waltzed into the glittering world of the rich and...
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars I'd been having orgasms with a fantasy about being a sex teacher for several years. One of my favorite versions was having all my students masturbating in a circle while I showed them advanced techniques. At the end of the class, the group would have a simultaneous orgasm that would get everyone in my apartment...
Excerpt from My Romantic Loves Wars During the month of February in 1973, I was running the next round of sexual CR groups when I got a call from Dell Williams. She insisted I get involved in the planning committee for the NOW Sexuality Conference. Dell would later open the first women's sex shop in New York City. Like me, she too was a Wilhelm...
I just ran over to Fifth Avenue to see if I could catch my old, old friend Gretchen who helped me type up the first orders that came in from Ms. Magazine requesting my booklet, Liberating Masturbation. She has been the grand martial for Gay Pride many years now. Although I missed her again, I did catch the NYPD queer cops marching behind the NYPD...
I have just started another round of follow-up tests, so it's been an anxiety-provoking week. I got a positive (i.e. negative) report on Thursday that the "area of concern" for 6 months is "reactive inflammation, with no sign of dysplasia," which means the scab up my ass is not a precancerous or cancerous lesion (recurrence) like the one that...
The number one assumption about the negative aspect of porn is that many women worry if their lovers or husbands look at too much, it will make them unhappy with the bodies regular women have. If that were the case, we would also have to be concerned about men looking at beautiful women in movies, magazines and on television. Starlets, fashion...
These are some of the responses I received after penning my essay Fucking Like a Feminist where I posed the question: What does fucking like a feminist mean to you? For me, "fucking like a feminist" means expressing my true self within and through my eroticism -- allowing myself to explore and experience the pleasure of my body; taking...
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars The year was 1982. I was four years past menopause and at fifty-three, the hormone levels were still dropping. Marijuana had always been an aphrodisiac, but I no longer smoked pot to keep my short-term memory sharp while writing my Sexual Memoirs. Along with my yearly sexual adventure as an anonymous prostitute...
After I read the article below by Anne Koedt in 1970, I was thrilled and made a cold call hoping to meet and discuss how we could collaborate. Although Anne was suspicious of me over the phone, once she was sure of my feminist credentials, she set up an appointment. During our visit, she explained that after receiving so much hate mail and a death...
Many people believe that setting aside one day a year to make a phone call or take Mom out to dinner is sufficient acknowledgement and thanks for a job well done, or done to the best of her ability. Although there is no work more important than raising a child, we still take motherhood for granted. However, women (and a few men) who are caring for...
Christmas Day 1966: After we exchanged gifts, I noticed Grant was staring off into empty space, a sign he was about to sink into one of his morbid depressions. To alter his mood, I asked if he'd like to make love before dinner. Instead of responding to my offer of sex, he began talking about how my gifts presented a problem. I'd given him my first...
My first memory of doing business with sex was age fourteen. The villain in the story was a friend of my parents named Clark Edwins- a man I intensely hated. For years he'd been dropping by our house at all hours unannounced with a bottle of bourbon and a dozen KC sirloin steaks. My parents were always glad to see him. They'd sit in the kitchen...
She was so soft spoken on the phone that I had to ask her to speak up several times. Badu told me she was an African woman from Kenya who had been circumcised. Two years ago, she began looking for information to understand what had been done to her as a ten year-old child. She came across my name online and made the call. When I asked what type of...
What do American men have in common with Middle Eastern and Tribal African men? All three societies routinely perform circumcision on boys while the rest of the world does not. In the United States, we circumcise babies within the first few days or week. Muslims do it to young boys who are between 12 and 15 while African boys are between 6 to 10...
I write this hoping that some couples will benefit from what happened in my relationship with a man who turned out to be my best friend, the love of my life and my absolute favorite sex partner. All this was after he underwent prostate surgery.  Not all men will experience prostate surgery, but all men and women alike, will experience changes...
In the mid eighties, I had one of the worst money crises of my life, and there have been many. I was living hand to mouth barely earning enough as I struggled to survive on running one workshop a month. At night, I was feverously writing a sexual memoir that was going to solve all my financial problems once it became a best seller. Occasionally I'...
As far as I know, I have never had a G-spot orgasm nor have I ever ejaculated. However, I do know many of my orgasms have been deep, powerful and satisfying. I've also enjoyed those little ten minute maintenance orgasms that release tension. There is no such thing as having a bad orgasm- they all put a smile on my face. Maybe the vaginal orgasms...
In 1974, I was at the University of Chicago speaking to a small audience in a very large auditorium, not my favorite venue. No speaker likes to see so many empty chairs. After my talk followed by the vulva slide show presentation, I went for coffee with a group of friends, including Nat Lerman, one of the editors from Playboy magazine. As we were...
Breaking up is hard to do and yet it happens to most of us. Statistics show that half of all marriages end in divorce and many people remarry to repeat the pattern again- and again. Add to that the number of couples living together without benefit of marriage along with couples in committed relationships and we're talking about a major portion of...
A starting point for my definition of sexual freedom would begin with society's acceptance of masturbation as the foundation for all of human sexuality. Alongside an art career, my life's work has been advocating and writing about the importance of masturbation as well as teaching sexual skills to women through the regular practice of genital self...
There is little doubt that feminism lost ground with the last two generations of young women. I believe one reason for this has been mainstream feminists focus on rape, incest, and violence against women and girls. It's time to rescue sex from violence. We need to acknowledge sexuality as the life force that allows us to procreate and fuels our...
I'll admit I resist going to conferences even when they're dealing with my favorite subject of SEX! As I looked over the catalogue from the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), I silently thought, "Maybe, but mostly, maybe not." Then I got a call from one of the conference organizers, Michelle, who...