Sex Features

Orgasm questions to Dr. Betty arrive at a steady pace… How can I be sure I’ve had an orgasm? How can I get a bigger orgasm? Or why can’t I orgasm during sex with my partner? What does an orgasm feel like? How will I know if I’d had an orgasm? “I have never been able to have an orgasm with anyone; either with clitoral stimulation (although I've...
One of my favorite moments in every private session and Bodysex workshop is viewing women’s sex organs. Just think: I’ve been doing this ritual nearly fifty years and never for one moment have I gotten tired of seeing the vast variety and beauty of vulvas. Each and every one is a unique work of art. This is when I appreciate my years of art...
I fully understand that teaching is repetition. So again I repeat: the clitoral body is the primary source of orgasm whether it's stimulated externally, internally, or both at the same time. I prefer both. Once a woman understands she can have both clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration, it ends this discussion. There is no distinction...
Recently, I was sent a link to new research on female orgasm. Using MRI scans, science has finally mapped women’s sexual response to clitoral, vaginal, cervical and nipple self-stimulation on the sensory cortex to understand the neural systems underlying female sexual response. Five researchers were involved but one stood out by promoting vaginal...
They called him Frank- a big handsome man with lots of charisma. Mother always said she married him for his good looks and artistic talent, but when I got older, she admitted their compatible sexlife was the glue that kept them together. He was not only a fine calligrapher but he could sing on key as well as harmonize. In his youth, he was in a...
Recently, I received the following question: “Dr. Betty, in the book The Multi-orgasmic Woman, it says that the use of a vibrator can desensitize the clitoris so that it might become harder for some women to achieve orgasm by touch or oral. What do you think? It's curious because on that same page, they recommend your book Sex for One which I've...
I’ve been teaching women about orgasm for the past fifty years. (Yes, I’m that old). As the population grows and the next batch of girls show up plus my broader reach via the Internet, it’s as though my job has just begun. Now with Carlin Ross, my skilled business partner and social media maven, we are gearing up to get a tsunami of sex positive...
The issue of paternity looms large in all authoritarian male dominated societies including America. Few men desire a sexually experienced woman so they continue their obsession with womb guarding and the insistence that women be virginal and we dare not interfere with “gods plan” once we become pregnant. Now that we have RU486 the cats out of the...
Lately I’ve been getting men requesting sex coaching sessions similar to the work I do with women. While I believe this kind of sex training would make a big difference for them and their partners, private hands-on sessions with a man is called “prostitution” by our government. Unfortunately, this remains illegal although it’s a victimless crime...
From my point of view, online pornography’s biggest problem is that it’s geared for adult men’s entertainment with very little consideration for women’s sexuality. However, what I see happening now is puritanical voices lumping porn and masturbation together. That’s a problem. Let me be very clear: when I criticize porn, I’m not including the...
I ignore Xmas but every New Year excites me. I enjoy going over past accomplishments and I am looking forward to what’s next. I’m at the stage in life where if I put my attention on something I want, I can often manifest it.  It only took seventy years to master it but I’m not complaining, especially since I’m only half way through my...
Betty Dodson
In 1970 I read an article in Notes from the Second Year, a radical feminist periodical founded by Shulamith Firestone. The article was titled "The Myth of the Vaginal Orgasm" by Anne Koedt. From the title alone, I knew I had to speak to the woman who wrote it. Asking around the feminist grapevine, I finally located the author and called to set...
I've tried three times to write about what I am experiencing from exploring tantra and I've deleted them all. It has been hard to put into words. It feels like a deep knowing that I am returning to. I am just going to talk about the most salient aspect at this time. I did not realise till that first WorkShop just how much armour I have on, how...
As I come upon the half-way mark of my eighties, awareness of the aging process has intensified. Last year I began composing an essay titled: To Fuck or Not to Fuck; that was my question. The first draft was about letting go of having partnersex with men. When it comes to having sex with women, I prefer a close friendship. This is because my...
I've spent the last 40 years of my life teaching women to orgasm - women who've been sexually repressed by religion, shame, guilt and even FGM.   Whether your clitoris has been physically or psychologically removed the end result is the same.  I only had one client who was a victim of FGM. After much coaxing that went on for over...
Jason Louv's article on Wilhelm Reich's life is a must read. Reich has been one of my major heroes from day one. Ever since I read his best book The Function of the Orgasm I was hooked. Everything he said about orgasm resonated with me: "In 1948, Reich would codify his theory in his major work, The Function of the Orgasm, in which he stated that...
Many people believe that female and male ejaculation is proof that someone has had an orgasm. This is not always the case. I’ll admit that female squirting whether involuntary, learned or forced is fun to see.  It’s the same reason consumers of X rated clips want to see a penis shooting semen. Both responses give porn consumers visual proof...
Lately I’ve been getting men requesting sex coaching sessions similar to the work I do with women. While I believe this kind of sex training would make a big difference for them and their partners, private hands-on sessions with a man is called “prostitution” by our government. Unfortunately, this remains illegal although it’s a victimless crime...
People always ask about Betty's Rock 'n Roll orgasm technique. She spells it out in First Time Orgasm, Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique and her orgasm ebook Learn How to Orgasm in 4 Acts. Basically, you're lying on your back with your legs bent hip distance apart...rocking your pelvis forward as your squeeze your...
This year I was wise and stayed home instead of going out to greet the New Year at a party. Carlin and I had an early dinner at Les Halles our local French Bistro enjoying herb crusted rack of lamb. Delicious! We shared a bottle of red wine with dinner followed by perks of tawny port and finally a glass of champagne. We always goof around with...
It’s Fathers Day so I’m taking a moment to appreciate my Dad and a few other “Father Figures” in my life. There is always a certain amount of sadness when I think about my birth Father. I always called him “Daddy.” Today it sounds a bit corny when I think of the current expression: “Who’s your daddy?” Does that mean who is the man I turn to in...
We've been getting a ton of sex questions on lubricant. Recently, I had a twitter exchange with a friend who never thought of including lubricant in his masturbation practice...suffice it to say he's been thanking me ever since. "Never touch a clitoris with a dry hand" - this was the first thing Betty told me when we sat down to map out topics...
Although society has yet to honor a sexually experienced woman, I’ve gotten a lot of personal satisfaction knowing what I want when it comes to partnersex. It’s always a pleasure to be with a person who is self-assured— confident in their ability to give and receive pleasure. I prefer a man who can maintain an erection long enough to enjoy the...
First let's define our terms so we are on the same page. A vibrator is toy that either plugs into an electrical outlet, operates by batteries or it’s rechargeable. They do what the name implies: they vibrate. A dildo is a toy that is designed for vaginal and/or anal penetration. As a rule, they do not vibrate although some models do. One of women’...
The wisdom of Consciousness Raising Groups began with 70’s feminism. It was based on the concept that, “The personal is political.” When women talk about our personal lives, we are describing the political system we live in. We are not isolated cases of misfortune, but victims of a male dominated authoritarian system determined to control our...