Transgender woman seeking her first orgasm

Thu, 07/01/2010 - 12:36
Submitted by bookwormbabe29

Hi there!

My name's Vicky, or V for short. My therapist suggested I look into Dr. Betty as well, I'm a post-op transgender woman who has never had an orgasm. Well, with my new vagina, at least. I had the surgery nearly a year ago, and have yet to try intercourse with my new body. Like many, I have a serious lack of self esteem. Further complicating matters, I have depression, and the anti-depressants are supposed to have "sexual side effects" which may be interfering with reaching an orgasm. The other theory is that my testosterone level is too low (I have a total testosterone level of 4, if that means anything to you).

The kicker is, I don't know which problem is "the problem" or if it's any of the above. Sex has always been painful, even when I had a penis, and I could never acheive orgasm with a partner. With this new body, I am even more clueless than before. While I can achieve some pleasure from my clit, I don't feel anything 'good' during penetration. Sometimes it just plain hurts.

The short version? I'm a tad overwhelmed with trying to figure out how to orgasm. At this point, I am very much open to suggestions.

Thank you for your time,


straight from Dr. Betty

Fri, 07/02/2010 - 10:47
Carlin Ross

Dear V,

Welcome to the confusing world of female sexuality. Most women do not experience orgasms from vaginal penetration. We rely on some form of direct clitoral stimulation. Since you were NEVER able to reach an orgasm with a partner as a biological male, did you have orgasms from masturbation? If so, I would suggest you stay with self-stimulation. When you say "Sex has always been painful" are you speaking about physical or mental pain? And we all know anti-depressants INTERFERE WITH ORGASMIC RESPONSES. There is no doubt about it. And extensive use of 10 or more years will kill off a persons ability to ever reach orgasm.

I would advise you to stay with clitoral stimulation and learn to use either the Mystic or Magic Wand vibrators while continuing to use your vaginal dilators while you tone your pelvic floor muscle. (the one that stops the flow of urine.) The first sexual enhancement aid is lubrication. Never handle your genitals without using lots of clean massage oil! Check out our Sexual Skills Series under Video.

If you booked a session with me, we would do what I just suggested above. Until you gradually come off the anti-depressants that block orgasm (which is depressing), I would just enjoy your new female body and learn to live without orgasms like many other women the world over.

Dr. Betty

"I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament." - Alanis Morissette