Pain and a funny scent after sex?

Dear Pentunia,

I'm not a big fan of rough sex. Nothing wrong with a strong grip from your partner or a bit of hair pulling or a smart spanking, but you must have clear boundaries and state your limits. The one time I experienced a large dick banging into me was like doing battle while trying to defend myself. The next day my insides were very sore which ended that affair. I can't even imagine having rough anal sex unless a person is drunk out of their mind. Whatever the scent was that you smelled, maybe it was your body telling you that kind of sexual activity stinks. Obviously the scent would have something to do with feces since the lower bowel holds shit that's about to be eliminated. Even the large colon has fecal matter in it at all times.

Perhaps you need to ask this question on a site aimed for masochists who enjoy this kind of extreme sexual activity that creates pain before one is entitled to experience pleasure in the form of punishment. The reason I'm so judgemental is because your vagina and anal canal are not made of steel. I hope you develop more respect for your body and in the future never let some jackass slam into you like what you described. Unless you were very well paid and even then, once would be enough.

Dr. Betty

"most people are fools, most authority is malignant, God does not exist, and everything is wrong" Ted Nelson

Sorry, I just love your response. thanks for posting it, Carlin. My favorite part was this line: "Obviously the scent would have something to do
with feces since the lower bowel holds shit that's about to be
eliminated. Even the large colon has fecal matter in it at all times."

and then this one, "I hope you develop more respect for
your body and in the future never let some jackass slam into you like
what you described."

i believe that sometimes this bluntness is necessary and i appreciate that you didn't sugar-coat your response.

You can find me at:

http://dodsonandross.com/art/cowrie-shell
http://dodsonandross.com/art/second-sumission
http://dodsonandross.com/art/artsy-vulva

But perhaps I can help shed a little light on at least part of the problem you're having. Betty is right: if you are experiencing pain the next day then the sex is probably too rough and you need to say no thanks to that. I would like to let you know, however, that I do experience the same thing where I can have really rough sex and not feel any pain at all when it's happening. In fact, I really get off on someone slamming into me harder than they should be! But the next day is when I realize it probably wasn't such a good idea; I experience cramping just as you do, and I have been led to believe through the research that I have done that this because my cervix is bruised!!!! Ouch, I don't like the sound of that no matter how much I may have enjoyed it! And sex can be plenty enjoyable without having it that rough. So I think you and I, we just need to take it down a notch since we seem to be oblivious to pain during sex. I have asked my partners to be sensitive to that fact, and they have all been happy to oblige and gentle as can be. The key is that you have to tell them before you're in the heat of the moment, because you won't think it's too rough when it's happening. You'll say "oh no, this is great!"

As for the smell, well, I don't know how to help with that so much. Perhaps an anal douche before hand? But I don't even know, I agree with Betty that everything in that hole should be super gentle all of the time. We're not porn stars here, just regular gals who should enjoy our anal experiences since we're not being paid to make it look good

Good luck to you and take care.

If the guy was a jerk and I would tell him to stop it would be different, BUT, I really enjoy it while its happening and I asked for it.

Thanks carlisleorama, for not being judgemental like the other two responders. I would think that its my cervix being bruised, but I have a very very deep cervix, no man has ever hit it- this was confirmed by the GYN last time I was there- she couldn't find it- its apparently deep in there, and anteverted. Strange, because no other doctor ever told me that before. And the scent, it had nothing to do with fecal matter, it actually smelled like acid. It could have  been (and probably was) that the environment in my digestive tract was thrown off, the slightest chemical change can cause a change in scent. Anyone who has taken chemistry classes could back me up on that. And yeah, I can't help but like the really really rough stuff- its sometimes more fulfilling that just being gentle... ::sigh::

And, newbie here, I don't think its a matter of "bluntness" being necessary. I think that response wasn't only blunt, but rude and not taking into account that maybe some people don't like the same things as everyone else. If I was a stupid girl who let someone do that to me without asking, that's different. The allure of this person was that he is into the rough stuff, which none of my exes were. So, forgive me for straying from the norm, I didn't think there would be such closed mindedness on a supposedly accepting message board. And, Carlin, I do respect my body, thanks for the response (and what i think was concern), but in the future it might be a good idea to not make someone feel stupid about what they enjoy.

Sure, you asked for it and enjoyed it while it occurred, but you were IN PAIN afterword with WEIRD/NOT NORMAL smells coming from your body. "Pain is a warning that something's wrong."  Just because you like something doesn't mean you should be doing it, that your body can handle it or that it's good for you. Lots of people LOVE heroin... see my point?

And before you assume that I'm closed minded... I HAVE tried rough sex similar to what you described, and was in SERIOUS PAIN afterward... so guess what - NO MORE. Why would you risk putting your body in harms way and causing permanent damage for a few minutes of pleasure? I also have had anal sex. It gave me severe hemroids and I haven't shit normally since then. That was 7 years ago. So, guess how often I ran back for more, even though while it was happening it felt AMAZING and I LOVED it???  Never. Not once. I have never done it again and have NO DESIRE to put my body through any damage for a few minutes of pleasure.

That's my side. So, I'm sorry that I agreed with Dr. Betty (it was Carlin posting Betty's response, not Carlin's response), but the human body can only tolerate so much, and while anal play may be fun within limits, I have a very strong hunch that the asshole was NOT MEANT to be slammed brutally into with an erect penis over and over again.

You can find me at:

http://dodsonandross.com/art/cowrie-shell
http://dodsonandross.com/art/second-sumission
http://dodsonandross.com/art/artsy-vulva

I'm sorry if my response earlier was a little snippy. But I  feel like if people are trying to get a nice point across, like "treat your body better" it's usually more effective to word it in a way that doesn't make someone feel stupid. Thats automatically going to put the person receiving the criticism on the defense, making it uneffective. I hadn't realized that Carlin was re-posting something from Dr. Betty- but even still- I posted for advice, not to be told that I'm not respecting my body due to the things I enjoy and that the guy I'm dating is a jackass. I am a masochist, maybe not as much as some other people I know, but its enough where I have to figure out ways to be hurt that will not give me permanent damage. I hadn't realized that my enjoyment of pain would render such a negative response.

Newbiehere, just because you have tried things similar to what I enjoy doesn't make you openminded either. Everyone has their own reasons for enjoying/trying things, your reasons for doing such things could be very different from mine- you could very well get something completely different out of it. We're all different, so that's to be expected. To have such a negative response to someone coming here for help shows a lack of understanding, and a possible closemindedness. I'm not attacking you, but I think you should be less harsh to people who are looking for help or advice. I have not gotten hemmoroids from anal sex and my digestive tract is now fine. My cervix is also fine, it seems the pain could have been from a muscle spasm- a friend of mine who I spoke to gets the same thing after normal sex.

The body is a strange thing, sever pain can be caused by air bubbles and spasms that are completely harmless, yet some of the most harmful things- such as malignant tumors, and even certain muscle tears, cause almost no pain until it is too late- our bodies are strange mechanisms. So, while pain is sometimes an indicator that something is wrong, sometimes its an indicator of almost nothing.

I have a related question. I've had exams and everything and my doctor assures me that I'm perfectly healthy downstairs. However, every time my husband and I have sex, which really isn't very often at all, I'm horribly sore the next day. Cramping and a dull ahe in my lower belly..I've even tried having him be gentle but it still happens. Could it be that he's to big for my body to handle? We didn't have sex until we were married and he's my first...Any advice would be really helpful