my answers to betty's bodysex workshop questions...

I feel proud of my body, it's been through a lot and has never let me down....
I remember looking at pictures from years past and always wondering why I didn't feel better about my body, because in retrospect, I looked damn good. So it occurred to me that one day I'll look at a picture of myself as I am now, and wonder the same, since then, I've decided I really like the way I look.

I feel proud of my orgasms too, and love them. It took many years to understand my body and be able to receive the pleasure that it is fully capable of giving me. Seldom are my orgasms the same, which only adds to the excitement of them.

I have split relationship with my body. Half the time I love it, the other half I think its hideous. I was anorexic for many years and consequently always had a problem loving my body the way it was; instead I was always trying to change it to make it "better." This would work for a minute, until I would find something wrong with my "new" body and the process would start over again. Because of this I had trouble being intimate with men, partially because I was ashamed of myself, but also partly because I was too wrapped up in hating myself to actually meet anyone. This just perpetuated my problem and made it even harder to get out there and I ended up staying a virgin until I was 23. This largely changed when I met my first real sexual partner who I was with for around 2 years. Maybe its not good to need someone else to make you feel positive about yourself; but, he really made me feel beautiful and seemed to find me attractive no matter how awful I thought I looked--Incidently, he also got me to eat a bunch and I got up to a normal weight while we dated. I'm very grateful to have met someone to understanding about my problems- we're still great friends and have a lovely sexual relationship. So, eventhough I still have issues, I no longer have any problems being intimate and enjoy the fact that others find me attractive, and I even think so too sometimes I've taken to nude modeling as a way of celebrating!

And, about my orgasms... I LOVE them! They've always been great, but have definitely improved as my body image has gotten better!

Hi,

Mmmm, my body. Well I hated my body after I was raped when I was 15 years old, before that I didn't really think about it I ate lots of skittles (candy) and very little nutritious food and got very big, then went anorexic. Then I found that sex was actually quite good! Oh and having lots of male attention kinda of helped my ego too! :-D

So started loving my body again......until.... I started to notice the media's obsession with how the female form 'should' look. Also having 2 VERY judgmental step-daughters who critiqued EVRYTHING I did, dressed in, did not do, even my breathing I'm sure they critiqued! As you can see my 20's was very low in self-esteem and confidence! Then like eleni223 above I started to take note of how I actually looked in my teens and 20's and thought that I actually looked darn hot! So loved my body again. OK there are times I think it sucks and needs work on but overall I'm not complaining.

Aargh yes the orgasm. What a wonderful thing! I love having orgasms, I even pull over on the I-25 to have one as I just can't wait long enough to get home! They are so different to when you have one with the help of a toy, or just by your fingers, or by someone else. I couldn't say which one is best as they are all so different and quite satisfying. I don't understand those people who get jealous of their partners orgasming without them, why not? How else are you going to find out what you like?!

I always think that a day is not complete until you've had an orgasm.

I like my body. I'm frustrated by the societal expectation to have some sort of gripe with your body based on the way it looks in two dimensions in a photograph, paying attention to the surface details and the sort of rectangle it fits into (supposed to be taller than it is wide but not TOO much) rather than its functionality and how awesome it is.

I have a physical genetic disorder that could kill me and WILL require me to get my aortic root (the main artery coming right out of the heart, which branches into all the other arteries that feed blood to your entire body, excepting the lungs) replaced in a major surgery before my last year of college. I was severely anorexic when I was 12 and spent several years recovering, in much pain. I have a psychological disorder called conversion disorder where I get intermittently paralyzed, and I spent SOOO much of this last semester unable to get out of bed, or, if I did, staggering and sweating and stuttering from this illness, or getting paralyzed in public places and feeling so helpless, etc. But my body IS me. I realized that you think with your whole body, not just the part inside your skull. I realized how important physical health is. I couldn't be on opposing sides with my body, although I remember how yesterday I saw a picture my boyfriend took of me, and my belly poked out looking fat, and that distressed me, but now that I remember that the distress comes from looking at my body like a 2D object instead of like the wonderful functional 3D object it is... No contest between the two points of view.

The entire idea of orgasms frustrates me. I've never had one. They started to seem pretty stupid a few months ago, and the feeling has only intensified. Why am I supposed to work so hard to achieve them? Why is this the climax of human experience, or at least of a physical relationship? Why does my partner insist on "pleasuring" me (or at least attempting to) when I'm not aroused, not going to get aroused, but perfectly fine with pleasuring him--which actually causes a response? Maybe I'm a lesbian. Am I supposed to dump the current guy and go looking for a girl for the sheer hope of getting aroused in that situation and therefore having a shot at orgasm? What about all the times I've WANTED men? Was that just me misinterpreting nonsexual feelings? Or is it the individual, in which case I'm pretty much doomed in the short term because I've never met anyone where there was sufficient mutual attraction?

I feel comfortable with my body.  I was brought up in France by naturist parents (now, sadly passed away) and was taught that bodies came in all shapes and sizes.  As I have got older I have felt better about myself too.  In the right environment (naturist beach etc) where I am not going to cause offence to others who feel differently about nudity I am comfortable being naked in public.

Orgasms?  Love them and need them.  With a partner from oral (not to say that I do not enjoy penetration but I don't climax that way) or on my own sometimes with a vibey sometimes without.  My needs for both are very different and again have improved with age!

I really connect to comments made by "the status is N" about a photograph being an unrealistic view of ourselves. We are not static. no matter how stunning someone is, they can look shit in an image. it allows a scrutiny of ourselves in which the verdict (usually a negative one), in reality, does not exist!

Congratulations to all you beautiful women who have overcome such tragic illnesses and experiences, and come out the otherside! woooo.

In regards to "status" ad your angst at orgasms...have u masturbated?? try it, but just relax.

Daisy

Eleni, I had to smile when I read your answer because I've done
exactly the same thing.  I could have written your first paragraph!

I
didn't much care for my body for many years, although I certainly
didn't HATE it.  I always wanted to be thinner, even though I was never
fat, and I am very fit.  I have competed and still do compete in many
sports.  When I was/am doing the sport, I never disliked my body.

But recently a wonderful change has happened. At age 59, I have begun
to really LOVE the way I look. I look in the mirror and see how GREAT I
look, instead of seeing my flaws.  Why the change? I believe it
revolves around my increaed sexual awareness, which is apparently tied
to menopause. While I was in the middle of menopause, my libido
decreased, but now that it's almost (darn hot flashes) over, my libido
has increased exponentially. How wonderful is that?

Which
leads into my orgasms.  OMG, they are fantastic.  I masturbated all my
life until the beginning of menopause, when I lost interest.  With this
increase in libido, I started again, and the difference is amazing. My
orgasms are so much more intense, either because of my changing body or
because of different techniques I have been exploring.  I take time
every day for sex and enjoy every minute of it.

The only
disadvantage to discovering this all at my age is that there isn't much
possibility of finding a partner to share it all with. Oh, well, it's
all good.

PS:  I just bought nipple rings! How fun it will be to wear them under my clothes!

Don't go counting yourself out for a partner just yet. It's not fair to sell yourself short like that just put out some signals. You have my most heartfelt wishes for finding someone you can share that increased libido with!

My menopause was not a gradual thing but thrust upon me when I started to have some problems and needed to have surgery to remove the risk of the primary killer of all the women in my family. Wow, I can't tell you how happy I am now that I made that choice.

The first few years were a little tough but now I have got to say that I am fortunate to be at the height of my sexual awareness and orgasmic bliss. Just the thought of not worrying about getting pregnant again takes a load off my mind so much that I can relax and 'enjoy the ride' so to speak.

Plus like yours, my body has not only changed and everything feels so much better but I just can't get enough. Any sex I have with myself does not lessen the amount that I have with my husband at all. It's just like one crazy hamster wheel cycle of insatiability! Not sure if I am ready for the nipple rings yet - maybe when I get to your age. I have however considered a piercing somewhere else - but I think my husband would truly think I had gone insane!

My relationship with my body has been improving for the past two and a half years. I lost a lot of weight because of my hormones finally decided to settle themselves. Now my figure is curvy with wide hips and medium sized breasts. Not a lauded hourglass but a delicious pear. Despite not having much exercise I'm fit enough so my body doesn't limit the fun I can have.

Once a couple of days I take time to stand naked in front of a full length mirror (my parents got two in the recent past) and ground myself. I observe curves of my body, the way the menstrual cycle changes the shape of my breasts, the way my body shifts as I change positions.

There is a history of eating disorders in my family. I know that puts me in a higher risk therefore I watch my body image carefully. I refuse to listen when my mother says things like: "If you lost an inch there those trousers...". I know an obsession with weight starts with that inch. Then you wake up ten inches down, puking to your toilet bowl. I feel great inside my body. There's no need to torment myself. I eat healthy and tasty food but about once a weak buy myself something that's just for pleasure.

It's only natural that I love my orgasms. It would be hard not to. They improved about the same time my body did. I suppose those things are related not only in the sense that the more you love yourself the more you enjoy making love to yourself.

I had my best self-loving sessions were after grueling PE classes (we had it in the morning then off to home for most of the day and back at 4 PM for "worm drawing"). When I was leaving the changing rooms I was exhausted. But an hour after that when I finally got to my bed I whipped out my rabbit in stead of sleeping off.

I feel I could improve my selfloving sessions by prolonging my plateau phase. But once I'm close I just don't care and plunge straight on.

Hi, Video Witness, I just found your reply to my post.  Don't know how I missed it!  Thank you for your comments.  Who knows, maybe I will find a partner.  I'm totally not selling myself short; I just don't know where I'd find the person. I certainly check out people in a different way when I meet them or go into a room.

I'm also not completely sure I want a partner in the traditional sense.  I might only want someone to have sex with.  But I don't know if I can do that.  Confusing.

You are sooo right about not worrying about pregnancy-- or even periods.  My gosh, I would hate to go back to having periods!!!

I never seriously considered PIERCED nipple rings.  After all the grief I went thru XXXX years ago with pierced ears, no thanks.  I think I've discovered some non-pierced nipple rings that might stay on, with the help of my local bead shop.  That is, home-made ones.  Maybe if they work I'll market them!

Love your posts, Orchid.  Keep up the good work.

where i am now i am satisfied with my body, but there have been times in my life that i loved rather then just liked it.

the time in my life when i loved my body the most was while i was pregnant. i loved the BIG belly and the EXTREMELY big breast (b4 i was pregnant i was an a cup and while pregnant i went to a d)

three days after i went through labour i went home and could fit into my size 7 paris blues blue jeans and i was so excited! my tire tube like belly went away within weeks and my breast were bigger then ever i was all the way up to a DD (i was breast feeding and continued to breast feed until my daughters 1st birthday), i have a very small frame so this was very exciting for me. my husband didnt tell me until after i quite breastfeeding but in the first few months when my breast were swollan and hard as rocks they would drip all over him while we did it (i like tops hehe) and he said it turned him on more then he could explain. he also told me that me being pregnant was a huge turn on for him that my big belly was like big breast are to some men. since then he has been trying to get me pregnant again and im sitting over here saying HOOLLDD UPPP lol. anyways im rambling...

as of today i have  not been breastfeeding for around 2 months and my breast have gone back down to an A cup and i tell my husband they look like "sad puppies" and he always laughs and tells me im crazy... my butt looks like a cat went after it... in other words i have diagonal stretch marks covering it. and my knees point in even tho my legs are straight...but over all i really do like my body, i love my eyes, tummy, shoulders and arms and im healthy.

and my O's, well i have only had a few but now that i have found this site i see many more in the near and distant future :D. the ones i have had i have loved. to me they are like REALLY good dreams they are so good while they are happening then when they are gone hard to grasps and remember...