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Betty Dodson: Sex, Love, Feminism, Politics › Help Please! ›

Keep stopping right before Orgasm

Posted on: Fri, 10/30/2009 - 22:28
Keep stopping right before Orgasm

My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year now. He's only the second person I've been with sexually and we've been having problems getting me to have an orgasm. It feels great and everything but right before I
get to an orgasm I tense up and push him away. We kept trying but I would always stop him right before. He bought me a vibrator
thinking it might help but I do the same thing. Right before I get to
an orgasm I pull the vibrator away. After doing some research I found out some women were afraid to climax in front of their guys so I started to use the vibrator in private but I still can't do it.

I'm 22 and never had an orgasm before. I'm not sure why I pull away.
I'm not sure if I'm scared to have one or if it's just to much and I
can't handle it. The best way for me to discribe it is like it tickles. It feels good but at the same time I want to get away from it.

I would appreciate any help you could give me.

Thank you

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Posted on: Sat, 10/31/2009 - 07:28 #2
One quick question

Does your clit get hypersensitive right before you take the vibe off it?

Posted on: Wed, 11/04/2009 - 07:24 #4
It's overwhelming right

It's overwhelming right before. I don't know about hypersinsitive?

Posted on: Mon, 11/09/2009 - 22:51 #6
   Wild Orchd  is onto

 

 Wild Orchd  is onto part of your problem. In my private practice I have women coming to see me with the complaint that they have never had an orgasm. Yet when I observe them during masturbation I clearly see they have had one. Their expectations of what an orgasm is like is off base. The last one anticapated strong uterun contractions. Well, that happens sometimes to some women but not all of us. So I sugget you question your expectations. Right after we come, the clit is hypersensitive and the sensations can be too intense so we stop. Instead, simply back off a bit but keep moving your body and breathing even more deeply, then go back only this time let some sounds out. It will help you to tolerate move sexual pleasure. Like jumping into cold water when we hollar at first before it begins to feel great. Don't stop just back off a moment or two. 

Dr. Betty

Posted on: Wed, 11/18/2009 - 21:34 #8
Try some variety

I have had a similar problem in the past, and it turned out that I was rubbing the wrong spot. We see in media that the only things that will give a woman an orgasm are vaginal sex or rubbing the clitoris directly, but each of us is different, thank God! I discovered that by experimenting without expectations I can find out what I like and dislike, also what gets me off fast and hard and what gets me off easy(because of course a lot of times, less is more).
So try rubbing along the sides, top, or beneath your clit from the start, and use varying degrees of pressure just to see how it feels.
And relax. The more you worry about it, the more difficult it will be to reach orgasm anyway.

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