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A Fix for "Too Tired"

Fri, 05/21/2004 - 12:17
Submitted by sweetpea78

I offer advice from time to time, give support when needed, and I'm happy to do so, but now I need to rant :x !!! I'm a stay at home divorced mom, I also do daycare from my home. My live in boyfriend of 1 and a half years, has the manual labor job. I love him very much, but by the time he gets home from work he's too tired to do much of anything, let alone help fulfill my nympho-like desires :twisted: We're both young and well fit enough to have sex on a regular basis, but it always varies. Sometimes once or twice a week, that's more or less the average. Me...I want more. I feel guilty asking for it, because I know he's tired. But after a few days of going to bed with a hot guy and just a hug and a kiss goodnight, my hormones are running out of control!!!!!!! So there's my rant. But does anyone else have this problem? Any suggestions on how to deal with it?
Thanks for any help :)

‹ The OLD cherrybomb is BACK Whats your type? ›

Fri, 05/21/2004 - 19:05
Nympho_in_therpay

i dont know what your bf will think i would start bringing other men home and see what he thinks then. loljk i know your serious. this is how married people are if you anit getting it now i wouldnt marry him youll never get it. just tell him fuck me or i will find some one who will.

re: A Fix for "Too Tired"

Sat, 05/22/2004 - 16:02
Anonymous (not verified)

Take it from a Married person, if you're getting it even once a week consider yourself lucky. I'd be sort of happy to have sex once every 2 weeks but would love it every week. My wife is often too exhausted to do anything other than read a book. It's been a month or more since I got laid and alot longer since she gave me a blowjob which I'd love to have ... heck daily at least. (hence my ID)

Excercise helps boost the sex drive, but if he's doing physical work already you might want to explore a subtle but direct approach. Try softly carressing him (in the right area). When my wife does it to me, I'm up and ready for action in less than a minute. Sometimes she'll just toy with me a bit or lead me off to the bedroom. Personally, as soon as she's got my attention I'd love for a blowjob right then and there. After the blowjob, I'm ready to go down on her and so on.
I think a blowjob would get him going, I know it would peak my desire.
That's from my perspective at least.

Sat, 05/22/2004 - 21:27
vegasguy

I think most jobs can zap the sexual strength right out of you, whether stress from the corporate world or physical exhaustion from the manual labor world. :cry: Try this - switch to morning wood. :P ..... In plenty of time, so he is not late or rushed to work, go down on him while he is still asleep and when he wakes up he'll be ready to go..... hop on and have some fun. Let us know.

Sat, 05/29/2004 - 02:23
derick ferguson

i am a "mean sleeper" any light tuch or strokes and its *smack* but punch me or set a Hbomb off in my bed and ill just wine if that. my girlfriend tryed the sex in the morning and i wasnt nice one of my friends tryed waking me up and i guess i sat up in the chair and knocked the wind out of him then layed back down. thankfully steph just got a slap to the hands.

(ok im done with my story)

now for some ideas. no guy is to lazy/tired for head or 69 the sec hes home wip it out and suck away, long day at work? how about a shower are nice nothing like a warm shower and a hot girl to get ur started WARNING: be ready for a FULL body cleaning (out side and in) last but not least is cowgirl maybe after a lil 69 hop on and bust his broncos. good luck have fun and if all elce fails come to me (j/k) :lol:

Wed, 07/07/2004 - 00:19
katie8078

One thing that worked for me. On Friday nights my husband would come home and take a short nap. meanwhile I would feed the kids and put them to bed early. When hubby woke up, he wasn't as tired and we would have a romantic dinner. it didn't always lead to sex, but the Friday Night Dates were always special

Be Glad

Wed, 07/07/2004 - 08:44
srs122

Nine years of marriage and two kids later, I am lucky if I get it once a month. My husband is a lot like yours. He comes home (everyday) too tired to do anything. I am a second grade teacher, so yes there are days when I am tired, but come on, I am not too tired for sex!

I know what you mean

Wed, 07/07/2004 - 15:49
Rachlea

Well I had the same problem with my husband. He was always too tired also. So one day I finally blew up and him and told him I was married and not dead the if he wouldn't sleep with me then I would find someone who would. It worked. You need to tell your husband how you feel Only that will open his eyes.

Thu, 07/08/2004 - 18:48
rab

hi i'm new here, and in the same position as some...none! my husband isn't only too tired, he's too busy, he's too drunk, or too full. he waits until 10 pm to come inside for working on stuff (nothing important), eats dinner and goes to bed. he is too full from drinking and eating to even think about sex, much less want it. he wakes me up in the middle of the night from time to time for a quickie. he is also very demanding when he wants oral sex. i don't mind giving it, but not getting any sexy payback (except on my birthday maybe) sucks. he never goes down on me, even when i had hinted around earlier in the evening about it. he won't do it and i am too chicken to ask him to during sex. i think i'm lucky enough to get that, why ask for more. but i need it. really need it. gee, i hope i am in the right place here...i have left notes, articles, hints...you name it. everything but asking him. i also do most of the initiating and man that gets old. i do have to wake him up, put in a movie or beg. just wondering what maybe someone else has done that has helped. thanks for listening.

Thu, 07/08/2004 - 19:45
tonigirl

rab, you might have more trouble than you know-or more than you're admitting. It's one thing to come home from work too tired for sex. But it's another story altogether when he finds all sorts of stuff to do before even entering the house at 10 pm, avoiding any chance for sex until he gets desperate one morning at 3 am. The fact that you always have to initiate, that he recieves and doesn't give, that it's gotten to the point that you don't feel comfortable even asking for certain things all lead to one thing: Avoidance. He is not too tired. He is doing everything to avoid having sex with you. I know because these are all things I did to avoid having sex with my husband because I had fallen out of love with him and did not want him sexually anymore. He is now my ex. I don't mean to try to tell you what your relationship is or isn't, it all just sounds sadly familiar to me. I hope and pray for your sake that I am very, very wrong.

Thu, 07/08/2004 - 21:21
rab

avoidance....i have not yet heard it put that way before. it makes sense. really it does. he wants me to sit outside and visit with him all the time, but i have other things to do than to sit around and watch him guzzle a 12 pack every night. and the discussions are always the same, about him or whatever problem we have at the time. he drags issues out for forever. i get tired of listening to that. but i try to put forth some effort, just maybe he will come around. i could have sex more often than i do, if i wanted to start it every night. i do get told to leave him alone occasionally. i walked up to him earlier and rubbed against him and tried to get a good kiss out of him, and he told me not to break his cigarette (it was in his hand.) i just turned around and walked away. he should have asked me not to break something else....this happened 4 years ago and i went astray because of it. i don't want to go back there again, really. he was also abusive, verbally and emotionally, and he has not been that way for a few years now. is this how the cycle starts i wonder? thanks for your help, i am really going to look into the avoidance part. everyone else just thinks he's an ass.

Fri, 07/09/2004 - 12:29
NaughtyByNature

Hubby works construction and he was in the same rut about 2 years ago, I tried the do me or else method and that did not have a good outcome! He became very distrusting for a little while so be careful with that...
I ended up thinking long and hard and decided to remind him of what he was missing out on... I went out and bought the sexiest lingerie I could find and got all sexified up (hair make-up etc) put it on and went into the bedroom turned the light on and straddled him on the bed when he opened his eyes (and simultaneously dropped his jaw) I said "yeah so I just bought this- and want to make sure I get some use out of it- so should I keep it or return it?"
Turned out super hot and when things start to fizzle out I do something similar to get his juices flowin again. We haven't had any issues since.
I think even the best partners sometimes forget that packaging is nice on the goods once and awhile.... cuz who wants champagne in a dixie cup?
~naughty~

Tom's picture
Fri, 07/09/2004 - 15:39
Tom

EXCELLENT!!

Simply Excellent, GOOD for you!

Sat, 07/10/2004 - 07:33
Lex

*applause* that was beautiful.

ROCK! That was very good. Good bit at the end there too.

Sun, 07/18/2004 - 00:42
rab

Quote:
when things start to fizzle out I do something similar to get his juices flowin again.

well i tried. my daughter went to spend the night with a friend so i gave myself a manicure and a pedicure and took a hot bubble bath and shaved "everything"....then i lit candles and put on sexy pjs and he is passed out on the living room floor. i do everything i can think of to impress the man and he could give a damn. what do i do now?

it makes me feel so unwanted and ugly. he likes straight blond hair, so i lightened it and straightened it. no notice. no care if he did. i could use to lose about 10 pounds, but i'm afraid he won't notice that either, so why bother? i'm NOT overweight, i just don't have a model's figure. how else can i get this guy's attention....i wish i knew why i wanted his attention. :cry:

Mon, 07/19/2004 - 14:20
illiniman88

Rab, Sorry to hear that it didn't work out for you. If my wife had done what you did I would have been all over her in a split second. Maybe you need to just hit your man with a 2 X 4 to open his eyes.

My wife works out side the home and we have twin children at home. She is always too tired too, I just don't know what to do to help her anymore.

Mon, 07/19/2004 - 22:38
Flygirl1

Funny how everyone goes in spurts of bliss to dulldrum. I had an ex b/f that it was fabulous with and then there would be a month of nothing. There was Idaho foreplay which consisted of spitting in the hand. You get the drift. Always too tired, one of us. I did do my share of complaining that got me nowhere and the nagging desenigrated our connection. The best thing that I ever did was stop the nagging. Alot of it was my owne insecurity in our relationship...Does he not love me am I not pretty that was the big one. I had to step back and realign myself of the relationship. HE really was tired, and annoyed with my yaking. You really can't relax to TV, you can numb your self but it is still stimulating, even if it is Larry King. I'd turn off the Tv and ask him to help me with something or simply ask him into the bedroom. I'd just massage his whole body, not sexual and avoiding the thighs,,, but to the point they could relax 1/2 to an hour. Helps the muscles repair and builds a better connection outside of the issue. He fell asleep alot but the cuddling was there. I think I must have done this two or three times a week but it helped. We started talking, not complaining), he started caring and touching, and lovemaking was so much more intimate than the mechanics of it! Hope my rambling helps somebody. Sometimes you just have to be the giver and build from there.