Fingers in the vagina

Your lady may not be relaxed and ready. I suggest sending a romantic/erotic poem to her every day.

See me and my story in the Art Gallery: http://dodsonandross.com/art/coming-age

My first reaction here is to say that you are with the person who knows all the answers so communicate.  Ideally get her to show you what she wants.  Or at least discuss it.

Having said that I think you may be concentrating on the wrong area.  I suggest you concentrate more on the clitty which for us is where the action is.  For me inserted fingers does little, for example, when I masturbate I do not insert my fingers t all.

Having said the above I am not trying to claim no sensitivity at all in this area, so I would suggest lots and lots of oral previously (not after), go gently and if I'm not stating the obvious make sure your hands are clean first.  Sadly a surprising number of men overlook this.

I would talk to her, it sounds like she isnt ready. many women have problems communicating their sexual wants or needs. Maybe have her masturbate for you to see what she likes and you could do the same as well to show her how you like it. Also if you have read the site the G spot is really just indirect clit stimulation so i wouldnt worry as much about trying to "reach it" unless thats what she likes.

Burt, you really do show how ignorant (sorry, not being rude) most of us are about sex, and the other half. If you are a regular reader of Betty's page you will have been able to read the answers to most of what you are asking. The most important guidance you can be given is - Talk. Talk to each other. So many young people go into a relationship without talking about the thing that matters most- sex. The 'anonymous" response above is good advice. Ask her about her body, all of it, not just that bit between the thighs! Does she get aroused when you touch her breasts? Does she like you caressing her bottom? Lots of women do. And all these questions can be asked during "Pillow Talk Time". Dont rush into sex too quickly. I read somewhere, that the first night spent together must be used to investigate each others body - no penetration. That way, "dos and donts" can get un derstood.

If she's not had penetrative selfloving with a larger object than a finger or two, then it's possible that her hymen is not broken. That would explain why one or two fingers are painful, assuming of course that you're using lubrication in the form of water-based or natural oil-based lubricant or good ole fashioned saliva and her aroused wetness. It's always a good idea to start with one finger and progress to two after she's opened up some. Getting Betty's Vaginal Barbell for her to play with on her own and maybe with you will help too. You can find those lubes and the Barbell on our sex shop at this link.

-E. Amaranth