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Didn't I say I have my FUCKING PERIOD!

Tue, 03/07/2006 - 12:57
Submitted by Carlin Ross

As a general rule, I'm don't have bad periods or massive PMS. But every so often I feel it BAD. You express this to your man but they just don't take it seriously because you usually roll with the punches.

Yes, I've gone sky diving on the first day. Yes, we had sex this morning. But when I tell you after we finish that I just got my period (and it works when you're waiting for your period and sex brings it on) and I'm not feeling well then you need to hear me and be just a tad more sensitive.

So don't ask me to make your breakfast 3 x in a row. And when I'm telling you about work frustration don't open your mouth because I don't want to hear it. And that's another thing that I hate about the whole male-female relationship bullshit.

Ladies, do you sometimes feel like your man doesn't listen to a single word you say because they get hung up on some collateral comment you made, get their ego up, and wait until you're done to make some lame ass comment that has nothing to do with what you were really talking about. It's like you're being judged on everything you say. You just can't have a frank fucking conversation. I don't want to justify why I said something (I'm not paying attention to everything I say especiallly when I'm emotional). I don't want to explain why I feel a certain way - AND I DON'T WANT YOUR OPINION ABOUT HOW I CHOOSE TO CONDUCT MY AFFAIRS.

And what makes it worse is that you see all kinds of things in his life that you think are bullshit but you love them enough to let them live their life. In fact, you would never risk an argument over something so trivial. But they will. And that's when you feel like an ass...and you wonder what's really going on in his head when you're talking to him. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

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Wed, 03/08/2006 - 02:51
cuntlicker

c-bitch wrote:
And when I'm telling you about work frustration don't open your mouth because I don't want to hear it.

It seems you need a refresher on the meaning of the term "conversation." It doesnt mean "I'm gonna bitch about my life and you're going to shut up and listen." It means both talking AND listening. (Funny you say that and then complain that men dont listen.)

c-bitch wrote:
Ladies, do you sometimes feel like your man doesn't listen to a single word you say because they get hung up on some collateral comment you made, get their ego up, and wait until you're done to make some lame ass comment that has nothing to do with what you were really talking about. It's like you're being judged on everything you say. You just can't have a frank fucking conversation. I don't want to justify why I said something (I'm not paying attention to everything I say especiallly when I'm emotional). I don't want to explain why I feel a certain way - AND I DON'T WANT YOUR OPINION ABOUT HOW I CHOOSE TO CONDUCT MY AFFAIRS.

Fact is, everyone does that. Male, female, it makes no difference. It's just the way people are. I couldnt begin to count the number of times I've made an innocent remark during a conversation with a woman, and gotten my head bitten off because she lets her insecurities and fears act like a filter between her ears and her brain. I say one thing, she hears another. Happened at work a little while ago, actually.

c-bitch wrote:
And what makes it worse is that you see all kinds of things in his life that you think are bullshit but you love them enough to let them live their life. In fact, you would never risk an argument over something so trivial. But they will. And that's when you feel like an ass...and you wonder what's really going on in his head when you're talking to him. WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?

Yeah sure, you never pick a fight over something trivial that just seemed incredibly important at the time. You never took an innocent, harmless comment the wrong way and got your hackles up over it. Riiiiiiight. Like I said already. Everyone does it from time to time. You're in a bad mood, someone says or does something that just tweaks you the wrong way, and you snap at them.

As for what's going on in our heads... Well, when we know you're on the rag and you're talking like this, we're usually thinking about how a fairly large number of women take their period as an excuse to be queen bitch 3 or 4 days out of every month.

I'll probably be a little less popular around here after this post, but what the hell. It looks to me like you needed to blow off some steam, and well, you arent the only one. :P (It's been a rough few days.)

The male perspective

Wed, 03/08/2006 - 10:45
Carlin Ross

You wouldn't be you and I wouldn't have posted my post unless I knew that i was going to hear the male perspective - and from our most brutally honest member.

I was a bit on edge which I thought I acknowledged at the beginning of my post. Yes, it wasn't very pc but I have to admit that once I posted my feelings I got over it and wasn't angry anymore. sometimes it feels good to just be irrational and say what you feel even if it sounds like complete sexist bullshit. There just aren't many places that you can go and just speak your mind. I'm not going to complain to my family or friends - because they'll take up an offense for me. And I don't have a therapist on retainer so this is my place to be me.

And he came home with a bottle of wine, cooked veal marsala, and made me feel wonderful....so he's still my man and he's the best.

Wed, 03/08/2006 - 21:09
cuntlicker

yeah I know. There's actually one waitress at work that's been basically using me to vent all her frustrations. She's married, unfortunately, but on the days we both work, if we manage to get done at the same time, she'll give me a ride home and just let out all the stress of the day. I dont mind it because none of the stress is aimed at me, and it helps keep the workplace calm because she doesnt have to bottle it up like most people do. (Apparently she cant really talk to her husband about her work frustration for some reason she hasnt yet told me.)

Since I cant really talk to anyone I know in the real world when I'm stressed or pissed or whatever, and I have no place to hang my sandbag, this makes a good place to vent in a non-aimless manner. (Aimless venting of any kind is BAD!)

**edit** oh, and by the way... the best? Not as long as I'm around. :P Best that you know, maybe, lol.
blah I'm sick again... about halfway through my shift I wanted to just drop on the floor where I was standing (puddles and grease and stepped-on food and all) and go to sleep. Or at the very least stop using any of my muscles... I swear, to see me walking right now you'd think I was drunk.

Tue, 03/21/2006 - 00:22
ManiM

I think you handled the situation perfectly - you got it out of your system, he had a chance to heal you without having to supplicate, and the only one who got worked up was CL. Sometimes things just work.

Tue, 03/21/2006 - 01:02
cuntlicker

funny how getting worked up can be a good way of winding down. :P

Mon, 03/27/2006 - 14:05
eleni223

i once read that men are fixers, you have a problem that you want to share, they need to fix it.
in the future i'd call a girlfriend if you need to unload without receiving advice.

Mon, 03/27/2006 - 21:34
cuntlicker

so, what... you expect people on a forum to just not reply to it? Because I mean, that's about the only alternative. The very nature of an online forum necessitates discussion. If she wanted someone to just pat her on the back and say "Yup, you're right, men are assholes who just never understand us." then she wouldnt have put it up here.

I never could understand that, really... A woman can be upset over the stupidest little thing, blowing things way out of proportion (or just be on the rag and being a general bitch) and as soon as they start complaining about men (or their man, specifically) other women always rally behind her nodding their heads and expressing their support, even if what they should be doing is giving her a kick in the ass and telling her to not be so bloody stupid.

There's actually a few specific instances that I'm thinking of from various points in my life. One girl who treated her man like shit and then was all brokenhearted when he finally left her. She was whining about what an asshole he was, and how he was heartless, just leaving her like that. And though everyone knew what a bitch she was to him, the other girls all pat her on the back and go "aw, dont worry, you can find someone better, blah blah plenty of fish in the sea, blah blah blah."
Give you three guesses what I said to her. Come on, take a guess. You dont have to get the specifics right. Just the general idea.

If you guessed "Shut the fuck up and quit whining. Maybe if you didnt treat him so bad and quit being a bitch for 5 whole seconds you wouldnt always be pissing and moaning about men leaving you" then congratulations, here's your cookie.

Same for another girl that I knew when I started university. We'd all go out to the bars to have fun. Every time we went to the bar, she'd find some new guy to bring home with her, and she'd be so excited that he "could be the one." Of course, they'd go home with her, fuck her, maybe date her a few times, and then stop calling her. She was beyond hope though. I even pointed out the white band around the guy's finger one night and she didnt listen to me. So of course I had no sympathy when she quite tearfully told everyone a few days later that he never called her again after that night.
Of course, the girls in our crowd would tell her the usual, about how he was just an asshole, and that she deserved better and would find Mr Right eventually if she just kept looking. None of them pointed out that Mr Right isnt usually hanging around in a pickup bar, and never has a white band of skin on the third finger of their left hand. (And Mr Right was usually not 10 or more years older than you, though there are exceptions.)

Sure, men are fixers. We also tell you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear. Dont like it? Dont dump your problems on us. :P

Mon, 03/27/2006 - 22:13
eleni223

my comment wasn't about her unloading on the board.
it was in regard to her talking to her b/f, and i think your last statement summed it up

Tue, 03/28/2006 - 03:14
cuntlicker

ah.... my mistake :P

so of course

Tue, 03/28/2006 - 11:13
Carlin Ross

so, of course, as I'm reading the replies to my period post my man has to rev me up again. See - i love him AND he knows it. But what I'm talking about are those little things about your soul mate that make you want to ring their neck EVEN though you never will. You just have to learn to channel it and I'm chosing to channel it here.

I just read an interview with Madonna where she talked about how Guy Richie makes her crazy. She went on to say that that's what marriage is all about: finding that one person who can really drive you nuts.

Well I've found him. He's a big biz exec and sometimes his condescending ways make me want to smack him. Nothing is fast enough. Nothing is good enough. It's all about P/Ls and corporate cars. We can't even go on a vacation unless we're at the Ritz and there's some huge event his company is sponsoring. It's the lack of creativity that gets me sometimes....like he doesn't even see half of life. He's too busy blowing himself around the room to notice the real things. And then I start questioning why the fuck he likes me.

Today it was about a website I agreed to project manage for his friend. Big mistake. And here's what got me: his friend fucks up. I'm in the middle of working and he calls him so that I can talk to him about his fuck up. When I'm done doing real work, I'll call back your chump friend. But in his bs executive way he doesn't even give me a choice. So when I tell him I'm busy - this look rolls over his face like "wtf bitch". If I did that to him, he'd go crazy. Boundaries, baby, boundaries. ARRRGGHHH

Wed, 03/29/2006 - 02:46
ManiM

you poor thing - you shat where you eat -that's a miranda move - i always figured you for a samantha. i agree that the ritz sucks.

Wed, 03/29/2006 - 09:29
eleni223

"And then I start questioning why the fuck he likes me".

i'd question why you like him (that's the woman in me talking)

the logical side of me thinks:

what makes him so good at what he does, is what is driving you crazy. corporate types have a hard time knowing when to take one hat off to put another on (and before i get assulted for male bashing, it goes for both men and women).

Wed, 03/29/2006 - 11:03
cuntlicker

It's not just corporate types. When you have to behave a certain way to survive, wether it's in the office or on the street, after a while you forget how to behave any other way.

Wed, 03/29/2006 - 18:39
ManiM

i totally agree - it's probably why i'm such a gangsta

Wed, 03/29/2006 - 20:08
cuntlicker

Heh, I tried following my dad's advice when I was growing up. He told me to throw on a poker face whenever someone was picking on me (which, sadly, happened a lot). If they can't guess what you're thinking or feeling, they dont usually want to mess with you, because they can't be sure what you will do.

I tried it a few times, but I always started laughing. Even when I wasnt trying to keep a straight face. I dont have any other "hats" to change into. I am what I have always been, anything different just doesnt feel natural, so I never really try to be anything else. Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we rinse and repeat.