Childhood Sexual Experiences

Thu, 02/02/2017 - 03:12
Submitted by Old Lady

I am having some dormant memories resurface. They are so old that I am not sure whether or not to trust them.
I think my mother used to engage in sexual play with me when I was very young.  It wasn't abuse; I remember loving some of the things that she did. Sometimes I felt a little shy, but  never abused. 

She used to take me into bed with her. I was three or four. She would offer me her nipple, and I would suck it. It never occured to me not to. I was her breastfed baby, and she told me that she loved feeling like I was a baby again. I remember the sweet smell of her skin, and how good her breast felt when I would knead it as I sucked. It was soft, but firm, too. It was just the right consistency to suck, and squeeze.

There was no milk, but I remember feeling a tingling sensation between my vulva lips, down in the little slit that defined my "keekee" from the rest of my belly and feeling the inside of the slit get warm. I remember rhythmically squeezing her breasts as I sucked on her nipple, my hips rocking from the tickly tingle. I was probably feeling my very young clitoris becoming erect.

Rocking my hips caused friction from my vulva lips on the tingly spot. I remember making "mmmm" sounds while I pulled her nipple into my mouth, rocking my hips in rhythm with sucking. It always turned into a little cylinder like a pencil eraser, and I would feel small, hard lumps form in her areola. I loved to press the hardened nipple up onto the roof of my mouth with my tongue.  My mother would rub my back while I enjoyed the warm, cozy bonding of squeezing her breast and sucking the nipple. 

I loved our time together. I never felt used or betrayed. I felt loved and happy, and I especially liked the feeling in my keekee. 

After a while, my mother would switch me to the other nipple, and I would repeat the treat of sucking and kneading, my small pussy tingling. I didn't think to touch my pussy. I didn't need to. The rocking was fine. There was no orgasm, just pleasure. [= 12.8px]I remember reaching over once or twice to feel the nipple that I had already sucked. it felt firm and fun to roll in my fingers.  I don't remember being asked to stop, so I probably fell asleep while sucking. My mother never made any sounds that indicated that the experience was sexual for her. I think she just liked having her breasts sucked, and I liked doing it. It must have tapered off around the time I started kindergarten because I don't remember it happening after that.  I didn't miss it; I'd nearly forgotten about it until today. 

I have very strong memories of her spreading my vulva apart to look at it. She used to look at it and smile, calling it playful names like "the little clicky dicky" and "your sweet little keekee".  Again, I felt that tickly tingle. I liked that she liked looking at my keekee. I remember being on my back, my feet flat on the mattress or my legs frogged out to the side.  My mother's face would soften, and she would smile at my closed slit.  "Look at my beautiful baby! Look at your sweet keekee!" she would say. I remember looking down my body to see what made her happy. I felt so proud of my clicky dicky. I liked it too. I liked to touch it and look at it when I was naked. I liked how it was hidden but had so many parts inside of it, and I liked how it felt when I held the inner lips and pulled on both at the same time. The stretching felt good, and the spot just inside of my slit which I now know is my clitoris, always seemed to expand like little sparks were flying from it when I sucked mommy's breasts or when I pulled on my clicky dicky. 

It may have been a few seconds or it may have been longer that she looked at my young cunt, smiling at it. She would put the tip of her finger lightly where the slit began, and run her finger down the edges of the closed lips. I would giggle and roll because it tickled, and she would laugh and gently pinch the closed clam of my little cunt between her thumb and forefinger. That felt wonderful. 

I am positive that she leaned down and kissed my slit, calling me her sweet baby, a few times. She did not open my lips to kiss, but she kissed me on the slit several times. Sometimes she would kiss my keekee two or three times in a row, starting at the top of the slit right over my hidden clitoris and kissing both sides of my closed vulva also. She always laughed like she'd done something funny, and I laughed too. Other times, she would simply open my labia majora, lifting toward my hipbones just a bit. I would squirm from feeling the cool air on my protected parts, and also from feeling the tension on my labia and clit. I am thinking that when she did that, she was uncovering my urethra and clitoris because she would look very intently, sometimes putting a lot of traction or she would flip up my legs, pressing my upward so that they rested against the sides of my belly. I remember feeling very exposed, and getting a giddy sensation from it. I would feel my labia peel and stretch, and I'd feel a sensation a little like peeing from having my keekee so wide open and exposed. Sometimes I'd hear a little moist sound of my vaginal opening parting.

Why did I love being spread open and looked at?

Sometimes, my mother would touch the smooth channels where my labia majora curved into my labia minora. She would release some of the traction on one side and pull up more on the other side of my vulva, tilting her head to get a better look. I remember spreading my legs further, wanting her to see me.  "There is your little pee pee" she would say, tapping gently on my urethra. That always made me jump because it was sensitive. I wonder if she was watching it open and close.  She would use her thumbs to pull back my clit hood.  I remember that very distinctly, feeling her thumbs press against my pubic bone and feeling the slightly scary thrill of my keekee being open, except it wasn't the opening I was feeling, it was my clit being stimulated from the pulling of my hood and lifting of my slit.  Sometimes she touched my perineum a few times. I recall only once that she said "this is your vaginal opening. Your vagina", and she put the very tip of her finger onto my vaginal opening. "You have a little discharge." she said musingly.  Then she told me that vagina was a word I must not say to anyone, but that was what my keekee was really called.

[/]Other times, my mother would put me across her lap and stroke my bottom.  When that happened, she would rub my butt and tell me how beautiful and smooth it was. Like silk, she said.  Sometimes she would lay me on the bed after she stroked my bottom, lift my legs while holding them together so that my butt was upturned, and she would kiss my bottom. She would kiss my closed vulva lips when I was in that position, lower, near the vaginal opening where the lips were thicker.  She kissed more emphatically when she kissed the slit over my vagina. Once while she was enjoying looking at and touching my vulva, she kissed me right on the anus, stating "It's so new and sweet, I can kiss you right on your poo poo place and it's clean."
When she took me to the doctor and let him open up my keekee and look at it because of the discharge (it was normal, btw), I felt angry and betrayed. My keekee was private. Didn't she know that?

I still don't feel molested, except by the doctor who looked at my keekee.  I actually wonder why it's odd that a mother or father would want to enjoy their child's body and make them feel good. It doesn't seem strange to me that a mother would want to kiss her child's genitals or anus. It's part of them. I myself love looking at vulvas, although not of my children, but I can see how she would have enjoyed looking at my small cunny, opening it up and enjoying the way it moved and felt.   One of the activities I enjoy the most when engaged in group play is spreading the woman's legs, opening her vulva, looking at her pretty parts. I love kissing the slit and get a thrill from popping out that hidden clit.  

Being an adult, I can enjoy a little more now.   I lick the hood and suck the labia.  I grab the fat lips and squeeze, rotating, feeling for the shaft between my fingers.  I open that pussy and lick the stiff clit, then suck on it.  I lick the urethra while rubbing that clit. I make the vulva owner scream and writhe. Still, some subtle similarities are there. I usually gently rotate my fingertip around the vaginal opening to spread the wetness before slipping my finger in. I look for the woman's g-spot. I rub her inner clit while licking and sucking her visible little penisette.  Once I've made her cum, I like to kiss her perineum, then spread her cheeks and rim her anus.  Sometimes a finger goes into her anus, just to watch her body arch. Sometimes I climb aboard and pull my own slit open to press my mature, hard clitoris onto the hot cunt and grind while the guys watch us. When one of the men sticks a penis in her pussy, I immediately suck hard on her nipples.  It intensifies her orgasm, and reminds me of a very nice lesson from mom. 
I wonder if my mother wanted to slip her tongue into my little vagina. I wonder if she watned to eat me, lick my delicate clit until I had a little girls orgasm. It would make sense. Why would she not want to give me pleasure? Why would she not want me to enjoy those sensations. I suspect she would have enjoyed licking my little pussy and ass, would have enjoyed slipping her finger into my very tight opening, letting me feel how great that was. 

It makes sense. Whenever I see a girl with small, puffy new tits, I fantasize about sucking on them.  I wonder what her keekee looks like.  I don't act on it, but I wonder. Some of my favorite porn involves barely teen girls naked, legs open and up, anus visible.  I fantasize about the girl's parents smiling at her approvingly, lavishing kisses on her body, sucking her breast buds, spreading her youthful bottom to lick her asshole, giving her guilt-free pleasure.  I can imagine her parents smiling into her open vulva, trading words of admiration, encouraging her to be proud of the cunt, to show them her clit.  I'd love to watch a father lovingly perform cunnilingus on her vulva, slide his finger into her vagina without shame, then guide her hand down and show her how to rub her clitoris to orgasm without shame. I'd like to see both parents kiss her keekee after watching her hold her hood back with one hand and vibrate her clit to cumming with the other.  I'd like to see daddy ease a finger into her anus and gently suck her clit to soothe her while her mother_puts a nipple into the girl's mouth for her to suckle.  When it's time for her to fuck, her parents should be right there, helping her boyfriend to insert his penis into her vagina. Why on earth is sex the only thing we can't teach our kids?