15 tips to make your girl cum (from Men's Health)

Fri, 08/31/2007 - 08:28
Submitted by sllikesnaked

These 15 sex tips left them dazed and amazed
By: Chrissy Brooks

There are millions of sex experts out there, and not all of them have radio shows. They're called "women," and they're a hell of a lot more fun to talk to than your average Ph.D. They conduct all their research on their own bodies, and they're much more likely to let you in on the experimentation. So here's what we did: We we went to the women first, and asked them what works best. We're talking rockets' red glare here, bombs bursting in there. Then we consulted the smartest sex docs around, so they could tell us why it worked. Now it's up to you to implement.

"Great lovers don't memorize complicated techniques. They master the simple things that give women pleasure," says Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. Here's what she's asking for. The more you give, the more you get. Simple, right?

"When I'm about to climax during oral sex, my husband flicks his tongue really fast along the length of my clitoris. A few seconds of that, and walls shake."

Why it works: Most men think of the clitoris as just that little bud under the hood, but it actually extends deep inside a woman's body, explains Paget. When you flick your tongue quickly along its shaft, you're not only covering more territory, you're also creating vibrations that help carry your stimulation beyond the tongue's reach.

How to do it: The key here is to make sure that the clitoral hood is out of the way. Don't be afraid to pull it back gently and then make quick, darting motions with your tongue as far down along the tiny shaft as your tongue can go.

"I love it when my man makes circles around my breasts with his finger or tongue before coming in for a nipple landing."

Why it works: Like the ripples that circle out when you throw a rock into a pond, concentric zones of sensitivity radiate outward from a woman's hot spots. "The area surrounding erogenous zones such as the nipples tends to be highly sensitive, too," says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., a California psychologist and author of LoveSkills.

How to do it: Begin right at the point where her breast starts to rise from her chest, and spiral slowly inward with your fingertips until you reach the nipple. Once you hit the bull's-eye, suck and gently bite. To really tease her, try circling in until you just brush her nipple, then pulling back out for another tantalizing spin.

"All of a sudden, without warning, my guy stops midthrust. Then he goes super slow, entering me inch by inch for a few minutes. It sets me off like nothing else!"

Why it works: The key to keeping her aroused is to keep her guessing. Predictability really takes away from pleasure -- not to mention that, in the beginning, too much of the same sensation makes a woman go numb, says Paget. But don't worry, you don't have to do anything fancy to jumpstart her sensation; just stop. "Stopping and restarting a touch or a thrust builds on the previous sensation, and it lets you skip up a few rungs on the pleasure ladder," says Paget.

How to do it: Pick a thrust and stop -- you can be inside or halfway out or just have the head of your penis touching her vaginal lips. Catch her eye, pause for a few seconds, and start again. For maximum effect, resume thrusting in slow motion and build back up to speed gradually.

"Before we make love, my husband often stands in front of me after I've undressed and holds his fingertips right above my skin. He moves his hands all the way up and down my body. The sensation is unreal."

Why it works: Positive anticipation is a huge part of what turns women on, says Michael Seiler, Ph.D., sex therapist and director of the Phoenix Institute in Chicago. By levitating your fingers above the skin so they brush those fine body hairs, you're creating a delightful shiver up her spine -- and making her feel as though you appreciate every inch of her body.

How to do it: Help her undress (another anticipation stoker); once she's naked, take her hand and stand facing her. Brush her hair back and let your fingertips hover over the surface of her skin. You're where you should be if the fat part of your fingerpad is touching her skin ever so slightly. Now go ahead and run your pads over her arms, breasts, belly, and thighs.

Go to the next page and learn why humming during oral sex drives her wild...

"I love it when my boyfriend hums while giving me oral sex. And when he follows it up with very light finger taps, I detonate."

Why it works: There's a reason vibrators are so popular: Anything that shakes, rattles, or rolls primes a passel of nerves for peak sensation. "Any time you touch the skin with something vibrating, you transmit sensation to a wider area than you would through simple stroking," says Paget. So you're activating twice the nerves with half the work. "Top it off with a direct touch at the right time and to just the right place -- in this case the clitoris -- and you'll probably send her over the edge."

How to do it: Relax your lips (think Mick Jagger) and hum a tune (think "Brown Sugar"). Bring the outermost portion of your kisser in contact with the outside of her clitoris (the hood that covers the little nub) and her vaginal lips. Move your mouth around her clitoris -- very slowly. When she can't take any more, tap gently and in a circular motion with your fingertip on the swollen nub of the clitoris; or give it a few long, languid licks, staying in contact the whole time.

"As he's thrusting, my guy presses hard with his hand right below my belly button. I have the most incredible orgasms."

Why it works: On the belly-side wall of her vaginal canal lurks a quarter-size zone of pleasure known as the G-spot. The reason many women don't think they have one of these secret pleasure buttons is that the G-spot responds only to firm pressure -- and that may not occur during intercourse, explains John D. Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist. But pressing on her G-spot from the outside while you're thrusting inside can bring her pleasure place into fuller contact with your penis and trigger mind-blowing orgasms.

How to do it: Since the exact location of the G-spot varies from woman to woman, you'll have to play it by feel. Start by gently pressing the heel of your hand into her belly button as you're thrusting. When she screams with pleasure, you'll know you've hit the target.

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Sex is Communication NOT Dictation!

Thu, 01/19/2012 - 00:57

The best advice on this article was the stating that the more you give, the more you get. This kind of exchange requires focussing on the needs, desires, and pleasuring of the other. Mutually satisfying sex takes the sex in whole new avenues of adventure and passion.
Great sex is accomplished as a form of two-way communication. I also, totally agree with the comments that focus on the man giving up total control so he can inflate his ego. I have been making it my utmost mission in intimacy with my wife to focus on her emotional and physical needs as much as possible - in and out of bed. I talk a lot about why I do this in my article: http://KeepMarriageAlive.com/how-to-make-my-wife-want-me/. I give a lot of advice on how to warm up one's wife in a relationship especially when her labido is low for many reasons.

Men's fantasies of control . . .

Fri, 01/13/2012 - 21:43

Men in our culture are beset by performance anxiety from both directions: avoiding the "humiliations" of impotence or 'premature' ejaculation, and 'making' their female partner have an orgasm. It isn't that most men actually want to control everything in bed. It's that they're trained to think that being 'manly' means mastering every possible situation to the Nth degree. That's impossible, of course, so in my experience even the most successful men (unless they're total narcissists) live with the constant, hidden sense that they're not quite everything they should be. Well, how could they possibly live up to all those expectations of total mastery and control? I can only speak for myself, but it's a tremendous relief and pleasure to have an equal, enthusiastic, communicative, and giving partner in bed---someone who is neither controlling nor wants to be controlled.

Well Said

Sat, 05/07/2016 - 05:01

I hadn't quite thought throught this subject as far as you described here, but I think you hit on a profound truth about the male psychology in our (US) society and other societies. It certainly applies to me as I'm much more interested in an equal partner with great communication than any sort of dominance from either side.
Prematureness has never been a problem, but I've suffered impotence a few times due to the numbing chemicals on extended pleasure condoms and my own mistake of drinking too much alcohol. 
When I was much younger, the thought of exploring a womans desires to find her point of ecstasy didn't seem to occur to me. It wasn't until I had some more experience that the idea started becoming just as exciting as my own pleasure. When I met a woman who was comfortable and assertive about communicating sexuality, it broke that wall of awkwardness that was holding me back and it opened my mind a bit. It certainly helped that she was eager to please while communicating in a positive way what she liked.
I'd imagine that there are many other men who had or are having a similar mindset of sexual ignorance like I've had. Speaking from personal experience, sometimes it just takes one partner to open a persons eyes.
My one suggestion for ladies though, is don't fake it and don't say that you came if you really didn't. Most guys don't have such a fragile ego that it would really hurt them. Instead, teach him how to make you cum. I think you'll both end up happier that way :)

Now I've read this I'm supercharged lover :)

Tue, 01/03/2012 - 04:46
Jake E

Betty cooking is a really good analogy actually. (sorry this was suppose go below your post) If an article said 15 recipes that everyone will go mad for, you have wonder what happened to just asking someone what they like to eat or would like to try. This article should be called some ideas to try. And where are the ideas for turning a penis owner on. When  I see those in androsexual womens magazines most of them I don't like, but occasionally one appeals, just like recipes and lists of sexy ideas are as useful as recipes that we try and then adapt and become favourites, so you need a DVD of them or many DVDs or books of them (in fact that's what reality porn is i.e. liandradahl.com). It's nice I think to discover new things and share them with your lover/s and it's nice to be creative too.

The reason I dislike this entire post is because of the Title.

Betty Dodson's picture
Mon, 01/02/2012 - 19:45
Betty Dodson

"How to Make a Girl Cum" is a big turn off since it puts HIM totally in control of HER. The last time I checked in, heterosexuality was a woman and a man SHARING their orgasms. Ideally each one was basically responsible for getting their own orgasm which of course requires communication. This unfortunately popular article plays into men's fantasies of control. I mostly see one passive, helpless female with Mr. Right running the show. That dynamic can be deadly especially these days when so many young women have no idea how to get off by themselves and guys are using porn for their sex education.There's a lot of fakery going on out there boys so don't believe every female orgasm you see.

Tips might be great for a cook in the kitchen, but mutually orgasmic sex requires communication. Ask her what she likes. Have her show you how she likes her clit and vulva to be touched. Most of what I read here should be titled: "How Get Your Girl Turned On." At best it's just some ideas about foreplay. Of course it gets first place billing because it's catering to the lowest possilble skill set.

EG1: "Making" her cum

Thu, 03/01/2012 - 21:30

Technically, I agree with this Betty.  But I see it as mainly a difference in terminology.   My girlfriend and I just had a big discussion about this a few days ago.  When she said she wanted to try to have multiple orgasms, I said that I enjoy being able to make you come, to which she replied, "Free your mind dear. You can't "make" me come. I own my orgasm. Learned that from Betty."  From that, our discussion ensued.
We both are really in agreement, and it is true that women must be responsible for their own orgasms (as must men).   So I said that to be technically correct, I would attempt to maintain my energy level so that I could continue to apply stimulus to her that might result in a second orgasm.
But in reality, I think that by applying those stimuli to each other, we are indeed making each other come.  Yes, we must still be willing and able to come, and know and communicate to our partners what to do to increase the liklihood.  My analogy was that, although she said that the body heals itself, the surgeon who performed life-saving surgery saved the life.  Without that surgery, the body would be incapable of healing itself.  Likewise, we are ultimately responsible for our own orgasms, but the stimulus applied by the partner, does indeed make us come.  But I agree that using the terminology "making her/him come," without understanding the principle, can perpetuate the myth that others are responsible for our orgasms, and implies that a failure to reach orgasm is the partner's fault.  And that is just not true.  
Perhaps I have no fantasies of control, so I don't see the big deal about it.  I don't want to control our sex.  I want it to be an equal partnership.  So maybe she will say that I cannot "make" her come, but I will freely admit that she can, and does, make me come, and it does not require control on her part.  It's just simply who is applying the stimulus.  So we agreed to disagree about the terminology.

This would make a good

Mon, 06/20/2011 - 15:03
Jake E

This would make a good video. 

the real basics are not covered

mammal's picture
Fri, 10/01/2010 - 14:49

I think the tips sound fun and interesting and there's some stuff in there that mirrors my experience. I think anything that helps guys understand what women like is great, because women don't always know what they want or need and we can't always tell them. But I do think that  guys need to approach sex with a different attitude. If a guy reads this and automatically thinks he's going to 'make his girl cum' by 'implementing' these techniques and then she doesn't because she actually needs a different kind of stimulation then he's going to be be making out theres something wrong with her for his prides sake. Guys need to be able to approach new things in the spirit of fun, and it's sorta not fair on either sex when articles create expectations that read like a script. I could say the same about cosmo for women, except that guys can usually tell girls what they need to get off anyhow. Women don't all respond to the same stimulation-neither do men. This article is pretty classy as far as these things go, but I still wish mens magazines would emphasise this point in their articles a bit more often. The fun attitude and good communication is the real 'basic' of good sex. But that stuff doesn't sell so easily, does it?

Great comment.

Mon, 12/27/2010 - 02:59

This is really true, these are all great tips but knowing your woman is what really matters. You need to be able to pick up on little things that you might otherwise ignore. 
A personal example, with my girlfriend I can see her stomach contracting, she bites her lip, runs her fingers down my back. Pay attention to her and be adventurous and you will have her screaming in no time. 

Agreed, annoying title . . .

Fri, 01/13/2012 - 21:15

This might better be titled, 'Techniques Some Women Enjoy.' One thing I've learned is that every woman (like every man) is unique. While it's helpful to have accurate information about anatomy and technique, techniques require fine-tuning and, as Dr Betty says, real communication if they're going to work for any particular person. If two partners enjoy one another's company, care about one another, and are relaxed and open about their sexual desires, mutual fulfillment is very likely to follow. People don't 'make' one another cum. I'd say that when good partners provide sensitive, partner-specific stimulation, orgasm is just the natural result.