My Sexual Beginnings: Stefan

Mon, 03/14/2005 - 00:00
Submitted by Anonymous

Dear Betty Dodson:

Right now in a very relaxed mood after pleasuring myself, I am trying to write down a bitter-sweet memory from when I was a boy, about seven years old. Then as now I lived in Sweden, in a small town.

It was a hot, sunny day in July. I was lying on the grass outside the apartment building where I lived with my parents, reading a book. Yes - reading a book! I began reading books very early, it was a way of disappearing from an often drab and disappointing reality, into a phantasy world. I did not get along too well with other kids, I was very sensitive and often got teased and harassed.

Two girls from the neighbourhood approached. I did not know them very well, they were maybe two years older than I. But they had never been mean to me, so I felt rather safe with their company.

It occured to me all of a sudden, that it would be very interesting to see them naked! With this in mind, I started talking to them, remarking that it was hot and that actually it would be nice to take all of one´s clothes off... They agreed immediately that this was an interesting idea! Now the only problem was to get some privacy for our nudist game. I went inside, and found a ragged old tent in a closet. We set it up on the lawn, and crept in.

It was a small tent, and there was just enough room for the three of us. We quickly peeled off our clothes, and began examining each other´s naked bodies! The girls sat down, leaned back, and spread their legs as much as they could. Filled with an intense curiosity and delight, I stared at their moist, pink pussies! I had never seen female genitals before, at least not in real-life and close-up like this. It was simply fantastic! We all giggled with delight at our "show it all" game. The girls examined each other´s cunts, and were delighted when I showed them my little cock - I had a good hard-on and I was very proud of it!

And yet, the whole thing was very innocent. It did not even occur to us that we could touch and stimulate each other´s genitals. We touched only our own, to show them in a more appealing position - the girls used their fingers to separate their vaginal lips so I could look inside.

Then I remember the girls became suspicious - they thought someone out there was spying on us. We put our clothes back on, and parted.

And, yes, the girls were right: someone DID spy on us as it later turned out it was actually my older brother, and one other guy his age. As a consequence, the story became known to our parents. And here comes the really bitter part: the girls were punished. I am not sure what happened to them - but probably they were beaten, and told never to play with me again. I remember that they would avoid me, and that they looked very very sad and upset.

I was not punished at all; I guess because I was a boy and the double standard said sexual curiosity was OK for boys, but NOT for girls! Also, my parents were more liberal than most folks in that little town.

Nevertheless, this aftermath did upset me tremendously. I felt sadness and rage and also felt I had unwittingly put my playmates in trouble. Actually, we never played together again. I hated the adults who would not leave us alone, but I could not do anything about it. Again, I took refuge in my book-fantasy worlds.

I wonder if you would like to publish this story on your site, under "SEXUAL BEGINNINGS."