My Sexual Beginnings: Carson

Mon, 08/14/2006 - 23:00
Submitted by Anonymous

Dear Betty,

I just found your wonderful web site and after pouring over it for several days I decided to write you and tell you about how I started masturbating. At that time I had received no sexual instruction of any kind. My previous experiences were limited entirely to "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" with various neighborhood boys and girls.

I'm now 57 years old. I think it all started when I was 11 or 12. My penis was growing and I had a little bit of pubic hair above it. In those days I used to sleep over night at my cousin's house. He was a few months older than I was and also my best friend. We were both being plagued by spontaneous erections in those days. Every day I had to walk out of math class with my books over my hard on which was extremely embarrassing. One night we talked about this and a number of other sexually related topics. He told me about some neighborhood girls who fondled him and how great that felt. They were playing behind the garage and he had an erection. He took it out and played with it while they watched fascinated. He asked if they would like to play with it too, which they did, and soon they were fondling each other.

This story aroused me very much (and still does when I think about it) probably because I had never done that myself. Anyway after hearing that story we both had erections. We beat around the bush for a while saying how excited we were and how great it would be if we had those girls with us. Eventually we agreed and we began fondling each other. The feeling was extremely intense but we were both apparently too young to reach orgasm. My hard on seemed to have a life of its own and felt twice as big as it usually did. I just lay there and let him touch me like I was touching him. We weren't stroking in the classical way, but rather just exploring and touching each other all over.

Everything was truly wonderful when suddenly the world changed abruptly as his mother walked in! My aunt was very upset and said we would hurt ourselves by doing that. I don't think she ever mentioned it to my mother, but I'm sure to her dying day she thought I was gay.

After that experience I tried unsuccessfully many times to replicate the feeling on my own by playing with myself. Nothing seemed to work until one day I tried a particularly soft cloth. I bunched it up and wrapped it around my erection and began moving up and down my shaft while holding it very loosely. That wonderful feeling returned immediately and I thought I had finally reached nirvana. I guess I enjoyed it for only for a few minutes when suddenly I had my first orgasm.

Of course I had no idea what was happening. It felt like my cock had exploded. I was tormented by guilt and fear. My aunt was right and I had damaged myself! My penis was incredibly sensitive and literally tingled for hours afterwards but by the next day I was ready for that cloth again. The orgasms I experienced in those days were true orgasms in every sense except one--no ejaculation. It used to convulse as if it were pumping out cum but nothing came out.

I think it was almost a year later that I felt a sharp little pain deep down and out came my first ejaculation. Fortunately by then I knew what that was all about and I've been happily jerking off ever since, whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Carson

Reston, VA

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