everyone is different so it's hard to give advice. for instance, i would distance myself a little emotionally, but i know that for me, it would be hard to bridge that gap again if he changed his mind. i've been in that exact same situation and when he realized he screwed up and wanted me back, i was emotionally out the door and the just couldn't find the feelings anymore; my trust in him was gone.
but no matter what, talk. be honest about what you're feeling. discuss possible alternate relationships (if it's over, do you think you could be friends or not?) and consequences (if you give him his space, you could find someone else in the meantime - is he ready for that?). resist the urge to tell him what he wants to hear if you're not really feeling it. "i love you so i'm giving you the space you want, but i'm not going to sit around the house waiting for you to come to your senses either" goes a long way.
funny thing about men, they take us for granted after a while. ;-)
about sex with the ex ... i say see him even if only to feel desired and sexy again. but don't do anything you'd regret. if you would have sex with him for the fun of it, even if you were still with your bf, and not feel guilty, then do it. but if you only want to have sex with him because you feel hurt or want to get back at your bf, that will not help your mental state in your relationship at all.
i always think women should keep an eye on the rest of the world and keep their bodies and attitudes ready to go out looking again. not only does it keep our men on their toes, but it makes us feel sexier. and you never know when you might need to play the game again, so why not stay in practice?
you know, i have a little trouble with this from time to time too. i can write a billion penthouse letters but when it comes time to talk dirty in bed i just get tongue-tied.
one guy said that it doesn't really matter even if i say the same thing over and over again, it's still a turn on. i know from the things he said to me, "do you like my cock? do you like how i fuck you?" that he wants to hear me say those things. it doesn't have to be poetry.
get some practice with phone sex. you have to try harder because that's all you've got. and when you hear him breathing heavy and telling you he's close you know you're doing a good job.
and maybe try watching some decent porn and actually listening to it (well, maybe not the looping soundtrack). chances are that what the girls are saying to their male lovers are the kinds of things he wants to hear.
oh - and although i dont' recommend it! - i find i'm best at this when i'm a little tipsy! :D
good luck and HAVE FUN!
Love it, love it. Can't live without it. Some tips:
- lubrication is key. The ass, unlike the pussy, does not self-lubricate. If you think you're using enough KY, use some more, both on tab a and slot b. :D
- foreplay is also important. Try playing there yourself with a small dildo before you let him in. I love having my partner play with a toy or fingers while he's eating my pussy. The excitement is compounded by the thought that maybe he's looking forward to anal sex and wondering what will happen next.
- position matters. I usually climb on top and sit on him so I can control depth, speed of entry, direction of movement, etc. If your partner is experienced or particularly sensitive to your subtle forms of expression, you may allow him control from the rear. Some men get crazy turned on by the simple sight of you on all fours offering yourself to him. If you've had some success with anal on your own or in another position, try it. But the tightness of the orifice may also end up in air trappage and extreme discomfort, so if it's just not working in that position at that moment, try something different with you in total control.
Some women only orgasm with anal if they are involved in clit play while it's happening. But I can tell you, an anal orgasm is incredibly intense. Anal is a great option for that annoying time of the month. It's also great if you are on the go since that part of the body is, um, accustomed to expelling, and if you just visit the potty afterwards right away and try to push it out, you shouldn't have all the long-term cum leakage problems the pussy has.
One more tip - when you're both done, do get up and take care of business immediately. It's quite embarassing when you try to hold it like gas and the sphincter just won't take it anymore. No matter how sexually confident you are, no woman farts poop-laced cum gracefully.
i'm not all about the gorilla type hair...but my boyfriend has a nice patch of hair down his treasure trail and i find it sexy....he doesn't have hair on his back which is good....i guess my opinion is..hair in the right places is sexy....and i think guys should have hair on their legs....that's the image of a man....i've seen swimmers that have shaved their legs which that i can see..but a regular guy should have hair on his legs....
One of my ex boyfriends was nataurally hairless on his chect & back & it was super sexy but my hubby has a nice patch on his chest & none on his back & I find that very sexy also...I agree though, I don't like the wooly hair & the hair on the back is kinda gross.
i think you're missing the point...
where's the video? don't see the link on the home page!
Now we can talk about unconditional love!
Does anyone really love while expecting zero in return? Most of us want something in exchange: sex, comfort, security, good sex, better sex, hugs, warmth, affection, promises, or something...
Most people don't want to risk without some 'guarantee' in exchange...
I like a man with hair...not wooly booling hair either.
Do to the temps where we live my man on occasion trims his pubis and chest.
I am not into back hair...thats gross....
I am not sure how I feel about no hair on a guy...as i have never been with a guy that is hairless.
I love it when a women swallows and I also appreciate her for doing so. It does make me feel a little faulted or something if a woman will not swallow. I couple of girlfriends in the past have absolutely loved blowjobs and that is so fun and sexy. I feel that your ability to enjoy has a lot to do with attitude. My recommendation if you don't like it is to be patient with yourself, take your time, keep trying, and find things you like about the process like seeing your guy go crazy.
If you do not like swallowing or blowjobs NEVER tell your guy you think it is "gross" because that does not feel good to hear. You would feel a similar impact if your guy said he thought going down on you was gross.
Anyway, thanks so much for you ladies who love oral and love to swallow! Hopefully the girl I am currently dating will have a similar attitude as we cross that bridge because my ex girlfriend LOVED it and I definitely miss that :(
I have to agree with the BDU thing. My hubby's BDUs have lead to some very interesting things happening in the park and on the highway and behind some buildings . . .
And I really like it when he sucks on my toes or ties me up to the bed (we have scarves tied to all 4 sides of our bed). I think tonight I will make him wear the BDUs and tie me up and suck my toes. :D
My husband and I got married when he was 18 and I was 20 (a year ago last week). We've had our ups and downs and there have been days we have wanted to kill each other but hey that's what we signed up for. One constant is that we have a really great sex life. Never underestimate the power of 4 inch heels and a French maid outfit.
Seriously though, it takes a lot of work and compromise and trust and a little luck but I think marriage it completely worth it. :D
My finace let my sister's and me wax him legs just for fun. I felt so bad for him, but it was really funny.
I like the hair, no problem with it at all. He is the one that doesn't like it, he thinks that body hair makes him gross. No woman has ever told him that either, it's actually his thinking. But then again, he did grow up in a house full of girls...
(Wow! Wanna go ride bikes)-ADD
I think that body (normal, i.e. not back) hair is sexy. There we go, the real topic!
I've been told by almost every guy I've been with that I'm awesome at kissing and giving blow jobs and that I have a very tight pussy. :D
Probably because I'm awesome at kegel exercises....during sex, drives my current man wild.
I'm horrible at being on top. I've always felt uncomfortable on top, and have a hard time getting a good rythm. I feel self conscious when I'm on top so it's my least favorite position. I don't think I'm very good at giving hand jobs either....of course I could never be as good with that as a man is with his own hand. :lol: I've been told I'm an amazing lover, but there's always room for improvement. :D
I would like to hear some real fetish stories. Now that we all know what turns us on let's talk about fantasy and real experiences w/fetish. Too turned on....need more. :twisted:
What would you like to know? You first. 8)
My first time with anal sex was with a guy I was just casually dating. It hurt pretty bad at first because I wasn't relaxed enough and we didn't use enough lube. The next time I tried it we used lots of lube and to go really slow...much better.
I had anal sex a lot with my ex-fiance when we were together. It was very enjoyable. We would do DP a lot (double penetration), with a vibrator in my pussy and him in my ass and me rubbing my clit.....amazing sex that was. :D But bad idea to let him cum in my ass. :shock: I won't even go there. :lol:
Some guys I've dated are freaked out by anal some think it's awesome. I can go with out it, but I do enjoy it when I have it. My butt is usually a little sore the day after though hehee.
Dear Miss Understood,
While I at one time shared your opinion I did discover a whole world that I was closed off from......Would God and those family members that have passed before you watching you this very second aprove of talking to other women about something so sacred as sex or enjoying there stories (sex by definition of "the church" as done out only for the purpose of conception and maintaing keeping a husband.??__ Just curious?
One of my dearest friends married of 22 years finds out she has breast cancer, her husband has a new partner and is getting divorced and looses her house, all in one day. Can you imagine...Not knowing if you were dying the one person you could turn to just isn't there and nowhere to put her head at the end of the day. A beautiful woman by every defenition, unpretentious, selfless, I should add at lest 1,500 in volunteer hours to the less fortunate a year out of love. As her wounds heal she finds comfort in a woman who cries with her holds her hand and connect. Who the hell am I to be up in arms that the person comforting and loving her is not a man.....You can't make a judgement . Walk a mile in someones shoes!!! It's always easy to run to the bible its harder to have compasion and understanding!!!!
I think anything besides back hair is quite masculine. I love to see muscular legs with hair (sorry ladies on the men only!!!)
I still can't get it to work
Yeah it's gross. I make every man that I date get rid of all of the hair on his body (aside top of head) I think that hair is the most grosso thing that a man can have.
I don't think that it should ever be allowed, the church says that we shouldn't do it. God says that it shouldn't be allowed. And I don't know about you folks, but GOD'S word is good enough for me.
I wouldn't meet him. It's not because he is black, just that if you don't feel comfortable now, how are you going to feel in bed.
I have been with black men and i think c-bitch is right you are worried that when you meet in person you will internally freak out cause he is black and start having all sorts of doubts.
You should expect some people will stare at you for whatever reasons.
I suggest you go met him and have a good time.
I am stuck in the middle on this issue.
I think if gay marriage is allowed then some time years from now someone is going to want to marry a dog and they will use gay marriage as the stepping stone.
That said, if gay folks are allowed to have legal marriages it should be viewed that way in every state and should be determined on a federal basis with guidelines on martial rights.
I by no means agree with certain ideals and ways of lifes that have occured over the years. I see gay marriage as a step in the wrong direction. However gays have the right to adopt childern so it kind of seems silly not to let them be a legal union. IMO the cart was put in front of the horse so to speak with regards to gay rights.
I'm sorry. I am a very cheesy girl. Anyway, it's funny that I came upon your post today of all days. I have been feeling completely depressed about the fact that my boyfriend hasn't wanted to have sex with me in the past three or more days. Now, I am realistic in the fact that I am extremely insecure, so my perception may be askew. But we just fought (again) about the fact that he never initiates sex. It makes me feel very undesirable and even if I am feeling great, if he doesn't show me that he wants me... it disappears and I am left feeling like he isn't attracted to me. I feel like it is probably me being unrealistic in my expectations, but dammit I want to feel lusted after! But now my rantings are over and I think that what normal is is what you are BOTH satisfied with. It doesn't matter how often as long as you are okay with it. Easier said than done, I know. Maybe someone can help us both to not hang our self image on whether or not a man wants us at the moment.