Recent comments

  • From Trauma to Orgasms   1 day 22 hours ago

    Dear Carlin,

    Thank you for the current installment. I have been wondering if and how this amassing story of the expressions of the tapestry of your life would continue to unfold here. What a bold and expressive surprise to listen to so many expressions, nuances and hard felt feelings that come up when one reflects one ones life from womb to parenthood - A reflection in part of how as even as an infant adults’ needs were met at our expense.

    Carlin, having been a first time parent it is rather refreshing to read your essays about the subject. We convey meaning through stories so there is always a story and separately the meaning of the story, the reason the story is told. Here, we hear many stories, a few meanings but I’m guessing from the impact it has on me in transcending your stories, events actions the meaning I receive is manifest in your statement “…I imagine releasing that positive energy into the universe for Grayson. I want more for him and I can manifest that through pleasure.” (See Carlin’s terminal paragraph for her context)

    I’m wondering if you wanted me to hear the terminal sentence with the power and intention with which I received it? “I want more for him and I can manifest that through pleasure.” That you want his life filled with the wonder of exploring the autonomy of his being in harmony with others. That he grows up knowing the social cost of either he or others acting at someone else’s expense. Less abstractly as a parent, you his soul source of security in the world you can support him without meeting your needs at his expense. The latter being as it turns out a rather difficult thing to do because parents have extreme power, which can manifest adversely in so many different ways.

    Holding a child, your child is like seeing our tremulously child and adulthood flash before us. All those times we were powerless to be heard, safe, understood our emotions well up and we prey we can do better than our parents for sake of all the children – all of humanity.

    We say to ourselves; when we see others powerless to be heard, to be safe or understood or we ourselves are in pain, because of our childhood, it is possible to say to ourselves, “Their suffering is ‘for there own good’ that’s the way it was for me! Now look at me. Because of that pain I experienced as a child, I am a big, strong independent adult. I can now therefore ‘for their own good’ inflict pain on others to meet my needs”. This is a hard thing to feel, admit, and overcome in ourselves.

    Oh dear Carlin are you saying to parents, feel, admit, past pain, overcoming it too create positive energy? Attempt to raise children with positive joy, radiate the love of secure connection to every valley and summit for the actual good of us all. Is that the meaning you wanted known when you say “… I can manifest that through pleasure.”?

    Readers take note: whether sister or brother, Carlin is all of us.

  • From Trauma to Orgasms   1 day 22 hours ago

    Dear Carlin,

    Thank you for the current installment. I have been wondering if and how this amassing story of the expressions of the tapestry of your life would continue to unfold here. What a bold and expressive surprise to listen to so many expressions, nuances and hard felt feelings that come up when one reflects one ones life from womb to parenthood - A reflection in part of how as even as an infant adults’ needs were met at our expense.

    Carlin, having been a first time parent it is rather refreshing to read your essays about the subject. We convey meaning through stories so there is always a story and separately the meaning of the story, the reason the story is told. Here, we hear many stories, a few meanings but I’m guessing from the impact it has on me in transcending your stories, events actions the meaning I receive is manifest in your statement “…I imagine releasing that positive energy into the universe for Grayson. I want more for him and I can manifest that through pleasure.”(See Carlin’s terminal paragraph for her context)

    I’m wondering if you wanted me to hear the terminal sentence with the power and intention with which I received it? “I want more for him and I can manifest that through pleasure.” That you want his life filled with the wonder of exploring the autonomy of his being in harmony with others. That he grows up knowing the social cost of either he or others acting at someone else’s expense. Less abstractly as a parent, you his soul source of security in the world you can support him without meeting your needs at his expense. The latter being as it turns out a rather difficult thing to do because parents have extreme power, which can manifest adversely in so many different ways.

    Holding a child, your child is like seeing our tremulously child and adulthood flash before us. All those times we were powerless to be heard, safe, understood our emotions well up and we prey we can do better than our parents for sake of all the children – all of
    humanity.

    We say to ourselves; when we see others powerless to be heard, to be safe or understood or we ourselves are in pain, because of our childhood, it is possible to say to ourselves, “Their suffering is ‘for there own good’ that’s the way it was for me! Now look at me. Because of that pain I experienced as a child, I am a big, strong independent adult. I can now therefore ‘for their own good’ inflict pain on others to meet my needs”. This is a hard thing to feel, admit, and overcome in ourselves.

    Oh dear Carlin are you saying to parents, feel, admit, past pain, overcoming it too create positive energy? Attempt to raise children with positive joy, radiate the love of secure connection to every valley and summit for the actual good of us all. Is that the meaning you wanted known when you say “… I can manifest that through pleasure.”?

    Readers take note: whether sister or brother, Carlin is all of us.

  • All the Horrible Things I Masturbate To: Revenge of the Nerds   3 days 11 hours ago

    I thought I was super crazy for getting turned on by this kind of stuff.

  • The Variation of Clitoral Hoods   3 days 11 hours ago

    I'm a C1 most days, occasionally C2.  I've gazed upon a mile (or more) of penis over the course of my sex life but I've never seen another vulva up close and personal. Until I saw these images I assumed everyone's clitoral hood was like mine, more or less non-existent. That it was akin to a hair follicle or lymph node......it's there but you don't see it or feel it  unless it's swollen.
    When Southpark popularized the phrase "man in the boat" I knew it had something to do the female sex organ (hooray for context) but for the life of I couldn't figure out what part or why. I finally asked a male friend what it meant. He looked at me like I had 2 heads and said duh, they mean the clit. I pretended to get the joke but I didn't see why it was supposed to be h-h-hsterical. Mine looked nothing like a boat or a canoe and I certainly didn't understand where or how the man in this the scenario fit in. What the hell did everyone think was so funny? 
    20 something years later it all makes sense. I see where the phrase comes from. The line itself isn't all that funny but at least I'm in on the joke now.

  • You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother   3 days 17 hours ago

    I'm glad your fan wrote to you and was willing to be honest about your positive influence within her from her early age. I have much the same experience and can say that learning to relax with yourself and embrace masturbation is more profound and lifelong when we start from an early age. I'm convinced that's why I'm so ejaculatory and such an avid masturbator. I came across Betty's writing also when I was 12 and credit her with such a rewarding masturbatory lifestyle.
    She has helped me appreciate, embrace, and nurture my ejaculations. To make time and focus, rather than shoving it urgently and unplanned into the last waning moments of each evening.
    Taking the time and giving it the attention it deserves helped my ejaculatory pleasure and capacity increase over the years and become a central part of what defines me. Thanks so much.
    T

  • You're an Inspiration to Me as a Young Woman, a Sexual Being, & One Day a Mother   3 days 17 hours ago

    I'm glad your fan wrote to you and was willing to be honest about your positive influence within her from her early age. I have much the same experience and can say that learning to relax with yourself and embrace masturbation is more profound and lifelong when we start from an early age. I'm convinced that's why I'm so ejaculatory and such an avid masturbator. I came across Betty's writing also when I was 12 and credit her with such a rewarding masturbatory lifestyle.
    She has helped me appreciate, embrace, and nurture my ejaculations. To make time and focus, rather than shoving it urgently and unplanned into the last waning moments of each evening.
    Taking the time and giving it the attention it deserves helped my ejaculatory pleasure and capacity increase over the years and become a central part of what defines me. Thanks so much.

  • Which Lubricant Do I Use for Which Sex Act?   4 days 8 hours ago

    albolene - been using it for 30 years - best i have found - for masturbation only - oil based but the best thing for frequent masturbators - softest cock in town!

  • I Need to Practice Delaying Ejaculation. Should I Cheat or Masturbate?   4 days 9 hours ago

    I agree with everything you said in your powerful post!  I first want to encourage the man with the PE issue to become a dedicated and knowledgeable masturbator.  One who practices daily and thoughtfully to become completely in step with his body and its responses.  As a champion masturbator myself, I can honestly say it is the key to my sexuality.  I am 48, but get rock hard erections, and have the best sex (solo and partnersex) of my life today.  I am here to say, that even though I have had regular partners for most of my adult life, the time I have spent enjoying self love is always available and has kept my desire strong, pleasures immense and always in control of my orgasms.  

  • Boys Who Masturbate More Likely to Practice Safe Sex   4 days 9 hours ago

    As the father of 3 boys and step father of another 3 boys all prior to their teens, I had the important role of influencing their views on both sex and masturbation.  I was fortunate to have been a fan of Betty's for more than a decade before entering into this "teaching" phase.  I told each boy that it was a good and healthy thing that should be enjoyed in private.  I gave them each a copy of Ed Rowan's wonderful book "Why feel bad about something that feels so good", kept an abundant supply of albolene in the house, and bought stock in kleenex.  Jokes aside, I am truly honored to have been in the position to guide these young men into their teens and adulthood, with a posititve start to their sexual health and sexuality.

  • Oh Kermie   4 days 11 hours ago

    Original programme
    http://date.top.yopoint.in/?profile.malia
    best free casual dating site dating agency wales dating montreal single moms online dating single party in nyc

  • From Trauma to Orgasms   1 week 1 day ago

    I've always felt that there wasn't any room for sexual assault survivors in sex positivism. Since we are either dismissed by having our own experience invalidated or seen as sexually negative if we become uncomfortable by certain things. Thank you for proving that wrong with this article. I already have it bookmarked! I personally no longer want to let some manipulative user have control over my sexuality nor do I want to continuing living in denial about what really happened to me. Playing it off as something that wasn't a "big deal". I want to learn more about my sexuality and learn to become more sexuality assertive. To all the survivors that follow this website, I just wanted to say this - you will never forget what happened to you, but that does not mean it has to dictate where you are going. Having control over your own contentment and pleasures is the strongest way to move forward. 

  • Did I Ruin My Clit from Unlubricated Masturbation?   1 week 5 days ago

    Thank you so much for sharing such useful and interesting information. Your website is highly effective and contains worthy content. I find it more enjoyable than any other show.[= 12.8px] |=>bloons tower defense 5[/]

  • I Want to Experience Orgasm Without Doing All the Work to Get There   1 week 6 days ago

    I experienced this orgasm as a child on the monkey bars. A friend said she felt" magnet feeling" when she'd swing on them too and we were in day care. I knew she felt it due to the way she named it. I lay on my bed... Cross my legs, squeeze n lift. I did this many years before losing virginity at 18 lol. Wow ... I'm not alone! I hated explaining my masterbation technique to men, as I thought I sounded crazyy... Be careful...may cause severe headaches afterwards lol.

  • Does Having an Empty Sack Cause Harm - Can a Man Ejaculate Too Much?   1 week 6 days ago

    Um, no. To all of it. Drugs like ecstasy and meth and the terrible synthetic heroin derivatives exhaust your brain's supply of dopamine and other hormones because they circumvent the evolved safeties we have in place and then they prevent the receptors from REUPTAKING! Your brain, now flooded with hormones that cause damage to the delicate tissues when exposed for longer then a few seconds, respond by eventually making less of it and getting rid of the dopamine or serotonin receptors. You literally don't run out of dopamine from constant masturbation because your body reuses it.  What's really damaging is if masturbation is in place of a real human connection. No man is an island and all that. We CRAVE human interaction the same way we crave food. The neuroscientist behind match.com dr. Helen Fisher wrote in her newly updated bestseller "the anatomy of love" that the desire to pair bond is as primal as the desire for food. Just like diet soda is supposed to be all the taste with none of the calories and yet falls short, porn and masturbation won't fill the basic desire to bond with another person but it can hurt your ability to perform for a partner and sustain a healthy relationship depending on the content and use. 99.99% of men are never going to find themselves in an orgy with ten 18 year old playmate bunnies but millions find themselves unable to sexually perform for a partner which will hurt the relationship and especially a man's self worth, thus creating a negative feedback loop of social isolation and disfuntion, sometimes resulting in deep depression. Also, most porn encourages the idea that women orgasm at the drop of a hat, enjoy humiliating acts, and are there primarily to satisfy male fantasies. Want to guarantee a relationship or marriage of infrequent and boring passionless sex? Demand sex but make no effort to have your SO enjoy it. It means taking longer then two minutes and sometimes dealing with rejection because women need their minds stimulated, not just their genitals but isn't better then being along and miserable?  A good relationship is all about effort, trust and communication. Unfortunately, these are all things that porn teaches the opposite of. 

  • Does Having an Empty Sack Cause Harm - Can a Man Ejaculate Too Much?   2 weeks 2 hours ago

    OK, I get it. When it comes to sex, clergy and tea party wackos are not reliable sources of expert advice; nevertheless, the issue of sexual exhaustion deserves serious, open-minded consideration. If you don't invest much credence either in millennia of Taoist and Hindu
    transformational sexual doctrine, maybe some modern medical perspectives are worthwhile considering lest we fall into the abyss of ignorance-“Those that laugh at what they don’t know are on the road to becoming idiots.”, words of Victor Hugo.

    Sexual exhaustion is often considered as a problem with over-ejaculation in men.  But engaging in too much sex or masturbation can also harm women. Much the same way sexual exhaustion can affect men it can also affect women. Exhaustion can impair our mental faculties as well as put a damper on our relationships while slowing our physical responsiveness, making us sluggish and weak.

    The side effects of female sexual exhaustion, like those of drug abuse, can induce inflammation of arteries, constricting blood flow to the brain.  Excessive sex or orgasm can exhaust the ovarian function and induce menstrual disorders as well as discharge the brain's supply of acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and GABA. This results in nervous, liver, kidney, cardiovascular, and endocrine disorders.

    The neuro-endocrine system, if over-discharged, won't recharge by itself. Inflammatory byproducts will then damage or burn out numerous nervous cells, leading to some of the symptoms described. This state usually affects one's hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-testicular axis. The production of vital androgen hormones, such as testosterone, DHEA, and DHT, plus the pituitary oxytocin become too low to support neuro-immune function. The inflammatory hormones cortisol, prolactin, epinephrine, and norepinephrine, being excessive, will disable one's pituitary-testicular-ovarian axis for a few days, weeks, or in the severe cases, even months. This will lengthen the refraction time, leading to chronic sexual exhaustion and strange inflammations. 

    sexual exhaustion symptoms include:

    Memory loss- in the form of attention deficiency or/and losing memory, and mind concentration. This is caused primarily by a deficiency of the neurotransmitters serotonin and acetylcholine, responsible for memory protection.

    Headaches or migraines- due to excessive release of the inflammatory hormone
    prostaglandin E-2, accompanied with excessive dopamine-norepinephrine-epinephrine conversions in the brain (as a result of the exhausted acetylcholine, serotonin and GABA nervous systems).

    Tiredness and exhaustion - low levels of dopamine, and excessive prolactin to shut down the testicular function, leading to failure in the parasympathetic nervous recharging system.

    Weakness in the muscles - due to deficiency of testosterone, DHEA, and DHT.

    Parkinson's symptoms (muscle tremors or twitching) - through acetylcholine and dopamine
    deficiency.

    Low libido- through locked hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal-testicular axis, high levels of prolactin, and deficiency of acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

    Depression and mood swings- due to unstable levels of all the vital neurotransmitters - acetylcholine, dopamine, serotonin, and GABA. 

  • I Get Aroused Without Touching My Genitals Due to PGAD   2 weeks 20 hours ago

    Unfortunately, there are many cases of PGAD.  Probably more because of the "shame" factor and those who do not go public.  MDs are often unaware of this and the awful  frustration and pain involved. 
    Orgasms do not satisfy they merely provide a temporary release.  I have worked with women who spend hours each day  finding the tme to relieve themselves.  Their partners are often in the dark and believe ithe ssue is high desire-- and surely not a problem.
    P/T is a great start.  This is a medical issue, it has nothing to do with you as a person.  It's kind of like "priapism" in men. The warnings with erection meds speak to this and urge patients to go to the hospital if their erection lasts more than a few hours.
    Again, womens sexual problems have only been of interest inthe last 20 years or so.  The research is new.  If you have not googled PGAD, I urge you to try.  You will see many references to what PGAD is/might be.  
    Please do your best to find a doc who knows the syndrome and can educate and suggest other ways to treat it.
    We're not talking about pleasure here.

  • From Trauma to Orgasms   2 weeks 1 day ago

    The strength of a culture that abuses and deligitimizes women would need to be shattered by an extremely forceful catalyst.  Donald Trump may represent the only instigator that could  destroy generations of misogny.  So, I guess we  DO have something to thank him for. 
    All we really need to continue the avalanche of change, is to energize #metoo and convince women, yes women, that they have power and value.  It will take courage.There are many women who fear taking responsibility for themselves. Economic inequality and parental duties inform their motivation to stay the course.
    Lets be clear. This is not as easy as it sounds.  It's still a treacherous and complicated change.  It's going to take generations but it seems we're finally on the way.
    Thank you Mr. Trump (and Billy Bush, poor guy).

  • On The Safety of the Million Dollar Spot and "Injaculation"   2 weeks 2 days ago

    I don't like the feeling of the perineum press to refrain from ejaculation nor do I masturbate to ejaculate. I edge orgasms during my self-love practices, and, just as Carlin alluded to in her recent post, I too can go for hours riding sublime waves of neuromuscular euphoria while consciously channeling sexual energy. I emerge invigorated, vitalize, energized, reaffirming my love for myself, my cock, my loved ones, and, most importantly, for life. I am aware that semen is one of the most vital and healthy substances males produce(many women produce a similar fluid that shares over a dozen healthy ingredients with male semen) nourishing the brain as well as the nervous, muscular, skeletal, and endocrine systems. Whether or not you believe in ‘intelligent design’, semen has transformative potentials that supersede its more known mundane functions. Too bad semen gets such a bad rap(see my blog on this) and is commonly viewed as an expendable jism to ‘flush out the pipes’ and get a quick explosive orgasmic
    fix.

    A knowledgeable approach to sexuality is a path to health, strength, and longevity. I have witnessed martial artists, some well into their 70’s, who master their qi or jing and can perform incredible powerful feats beyond normal human capabilities. I am 66(have been practicing semen retention for nearly 4 decades) with a healthy body, mind, and sex drive that allow me to enjoy a vigorous lifestyle. My inner repositories of semen are essentially 24/7 pharmacies carefully filling my needs for pure, natural vitamins, minerals, trace elements, sugars, enzymes, aminoacids, and yes, even cancer-fighting agents. 

    As Eric stated above, an ejaculation does not cause a man harm. Excessive ejaculation; however, can lead to various chronic symptoms, some serious, of sexual exhaustion. You know the adage: “too much of a good thing…or everything in moderation…”. Ultimately, we all make our own cost/benefit roadmaps for navigating the vicissitudes of modern living. For me, the benefits gained from edging orgasms greatly outweigh the ephemeral pleasures of an ejaculation fix. As I see it, I am getting a constant positive return on my erogenous investments without broker fees, taxes, penalties, or significant losses. 

  • From Trauma to Orgasms   2 weeks 5 days ago

    First of all, I want to say that I love this site. There is so much useful information about female sexuality on here, with a feminist perspective. Betty, you are awesome!
    Carlin, I am so sorry you had to deal with the trauma of sexual assault when you were still a child. Any culture that would make you feel as though that was your fault is fundamentally WRONG.
    I am also hopeful that the #metoo movement will generate a sea change in the way men treat women in our culture. I myself have been subjected to numerous catcalls: crude words, whistling, honking, etc. The first came when I was only 14.
    Keep up the good work promoting female pleasure and calling out the patriarchy!
    Baby Fem

  • Taylor Swift in Court = Perfection   3 weeks 3 days ago

    This is a bit bittersweet for me. Taylor did a beautiful comeback and literally placed all dot's above "i" with her words. I've never been able to understnad why people like Swift. But now i know for sure, haha!

    Regards,
    Expert writing my paper help

  • On The Safety of the Million Dollar Spot and "Injaculation"   3 weeks 5 days ago

        I pressed the point during masterbation and get retrograde ejaculation first time before two weeks. But after that I can't get normal ejaculation even if I don't press that point. PLease guide me how to treat this problem ?

  • Awakening the Clitoris   4 weeks 4 days ago

    It's very wrong why you do this and it's not good for our new generation.In this articles please hide all vulgar pictures in all articles.[url= http://expertessayhelp.co.uk]Expert Essay Help.[/url]

  • Awakening the Clitoris   4 weeks 4 days ago

    It's very wrong why you do this and it's not good for our new generation.In this articles please hide all vulgar pictures in all articles.[url= http://expertessayhelp.co.uk]Expert Essay Help.[/url]

  • The Next Bodysex Workshops   4 weeks 6 days ago

    Thank you for sharing! 
    It is great when people can share their experience!
    I think that your story helps people understand their relationship! it is very important!
    Mira,
    https://www.hot-essay.com/

  • Ladies-Describe your 1st sexual experience with another woman...   5 weeks 2 days ago

    I thought I was the only one in the world that experienced that. LOL!!! Yay! I'm not... :)