Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross
Better Orgasms. Better World.
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Betty's Vaginal Barbell |
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My Romantic Love Wars: A Sexual Memoir - EBOOK EDITION |
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Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop DVD |
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Betty Dodson Liberating women one orgasm at a time |
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Carlin Ross Sex, Politics & More Sex |
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Eric Amaranth Sex life coaching and neo-male perspectives. |
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Lawrence Lanoff President of Pleasure, Tantric Master. Creator of Tantra-X University. |
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Liandra Dahl Sex Documentarian |
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LilithLand Women, Sex, Culture & Relationships |
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BorderReiver Restoring My Foreskin |
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Caitlin Bovard From the bible belt to under the belt |
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Caitlin Roberts Taking Back "Slut" |
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cajun sausage Lovin' Dr. Betty since 1996! |
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Christina Cicchelli |
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Danny Wylde Male. Libra. Whore |
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Dr. Lulu History & the Material Culture of Sex |
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Emily and Ju Queer love |
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Eric Francis Astrology & Adventure |
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Jenn Parenthood. With Cursing |
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Jessica Kramer Liberating Birth |
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jexhibitionism |
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Julia Emerald Philosophy, Sex and Freedom |
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Kasini Poet. Educator. Catalyst. Mother. |
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carlisleorama |
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LesleyS Redefining my sexual self after babies. |
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Logan Levkoff sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom |
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Marisa Black Finding room for all of me |
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Marylou Naccarato Learn how to raise your level of “Sexability” |
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Miss Dirt Sex. Yoga. Feminism |
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Palesa Art + Sex + Media + Empowerment |
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The ED Coach Pa... Helping Men Regain Their Sexuality |
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Princess What would my mother say? |
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Scout Life...Parenting...Bodysex |
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VirginMonoblogger Thought all virgins were the same? Think again. |
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WildOrchid A selfsexual, toy loving, bisexual fetishist. |
Christine may have lost her bid for Congress, but she did masturbation a great service. For that I sincerely thank her. After more years than I care to remember, I've struggled to liberate this basic healthy activity, but now, I have to hand it to her. She managed to get the word into the public sphere in a way that far surpassed Dr. Elders and my own masturbation crusade that's been going on since 1970. Most likely, you've never heard of me because I say positive things about this humble, but universal, sexual activity. During my entire career as an artist, author, creator of erotic sex-ed videos and, finally, as a Ph.D. sexologist, I have consistently been censored.
Sexually speaking, I was a divided woman like many women today. Whenever I had sex with myself, I stimulated my clitoris directly, but when I had sex with a lover, I tried to come from his touch or vaginal penetration only. After a life-time of sexual activity with forty-some years of teaching sex, my position today is that we each need to be responsible for our own orgasms. Since our first natural sexual activity is masturbation, each individual has the best chance of knowing what feels good when it comes to touching your own sex organ.
The blogosphere is littered with posts about female genital mutilation happening today, right now at Cornell University with boingboing's Female Genital Mutilation at Cornell? It's Complicated leading the charge. This is my official position on intersex surgery and why we must rescue our sex organs from religion, unnecessary medical procedures and institutionalized heterosexuality.
Some Background
1 in every 2000 babies will be born with ambiguous genitals - 1 in every 2000 babies will be born with red hair. If you've ever met someone with red hair, you've met someone who is intersex.
Dr. Poppas, a pediatric urologist at Cornell University, recently published research dealing with his new technique for modifying the oversized clitorises of baby girls. For these girls- and other children born with a variety of intersex conditions- genital surgery in infancy is standard practice.
The only thing that makes Poppas different is his new technique to preserve sexual sensation later on in life.
Yesterday I received an email from Amy Jo, a sister sex educator with the alarming news that Kegel exercises were not beneficial but actually detrimental. What?
Pelvic floor muscle awareness has been a big part of my teaching women about orgasms with me repeating: "Squeeze and release" while my Vaginal Barbell is inside my client's vagina while she stimulates her clitoris with a vibrator. The Barbell was designed as a resistance device for exercising these muscles (it also doubles as a great dildo).
As It turned out, this was basically a misunderstanding of how to go about doing Kegels by making the pelvic floor muscles "tight" instead of "toned."
It seems the twenty-something young women in America are all very confused about what an orgasm is, what it feels like, and how to have one.
One evening I announced to several friends that I'd been making an effort to claim my intellectual property to establish my place in history. One academic friend smiled and said, "That's like trying to hold onto a pile of money in the middle of a busy intersection." Although I laughed at the time, I now realize how accurate his analogy was. Still, I continue to dash into the intersection to declare another accomplishment that I'm proud to claim.
In 1990, I was invited to speak at a conference titled: "Say Yes to Masturbation".
It was in Montreal Canada sponsored by the Raelians, a world-wide organization who follows their prophet Rael. He claims to have been contacted by extra terrestrials, or ET's. Sort of like Moses receiving a message from God through a burning bush, or Buddha receiving enlightenment while sitting under a tree. Who's to say these things are impossible, although I tend to lean in that direction.
At the time, my webmaster Grant, always the suspicious academic, said I'd be crazy to deal with "kooks" who believed in flying saucers. Friends worried I'd be kidnapped by this cult and flown off in a saucer never to be heard from again. (I had a few sexual fantasies with that one).
You will need a few basic items. If at all possible set aside at least an hour in a warm room that's completely private. Turn off the phone and put your cell phone in another room. Wash you hands and make sure you have smooth clean fingernails.
1. For your genital examination you will want a make-up mirror that stands alone with at least an eight-inch mirror surface. Improvise: A mirror on a closet door.
2. A gooseneck desk lamp is the best or some light source that can be aimed between your legs. Improvise: Light coming through a window.
3. A bottle of massage oil like my Sliquid Organics Natural Lube or any cold pressed oil such as coconut, sesame, apricot or avocado.
4. A towel to sit on.
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars
One summer at a Yoga camp, I'd watched a group of young men rolling their abs. When I asked the benefits of the exercise, they said it forced old blood out of the internal organs, allowing new blood to enter. They claimed that advanced male yogis could give them selves an enema by sucking in water and pushing it back out. Speaking in superior tones they let me know that as a woman, I could never master this exercise. At the time I thought, "Yeah? Just wait and see."
Ever since then, I'd been practicing how to give myself a vaginal douche while in the bathtub. One evening as I repeated the exercise, the muscle ridge stood up, my vaginal barrel opened, and I felt a trickling of water seep inside. Success at last! I got out of the tub, dried off and sat down on the floor in front of my free-standing makeup mirror. Isolating the muscles again, I sucked in air, and forced it out, making the sound of a loud "pussy fart". It made me laugh so I did it several more times. In the past, I'd accidentally get a pussy fart when air was sucked in my vagina during intercourse. Now I could do it on demand!
My feminist awareness first struck like a series of lightening bolts while reading Betty Freidan's The Feminine Mystique in 1963. At the time I was unhappily married. Although I never wanted to be a wife and mother, I surrendered to being "normal" in 1959. By the time I finished Freidan's book, I secretly began planning my escape from middle class respectability by resurrecting my dream of becoming a recognized artist with my drawings and paintings hanging in Museums.
The dream got altered. I became a recognized feminist, a one woman masturbation revolution to liberate women's sexual pleasure with orgasms through art, articles, books, and videos along with numerous workshops that I ran here and abroad. Once the creative process is unleashed, I had the good sense to follow where it led me.
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars.
In 1968, my primary relationship with Grant changed. There was no big scene, just a mutual agreement to have new primary lovers and remain sexual friends- a friendship that would span five decades. Grant's new lover, Nicole Rameau, was Swiss and the most gorgeous blonde he'd ever dated. He had his tall, willowy blonde, and I had the tallest, darkest, most handsome prince of all. Adam Kadir was black and beautiful, half Eastern Indian and African American. I carefully explained we would both have the freedom to enjoy sex with other people without jeopardizing our primary affair. Listening to my ideas about non possessive love and sex, he agreed to everything. I thought it was strange he didn't question anything, but what guy would turn down a deal like this? A relationship that included sexual variety was what all men wanted, right? Wrong! I was about to learn men wanted a monogamous woman while they had affairs.
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars
Walking to my studio on West 29th Street early one morning, I ran into a man who had worked as a commercial artist for my former husband. Sergio DiNolti had been fat and homely, but the man standing in front of me was trim and very muscular with a lean, appealing face. As I admired his miraculous change, he said he'd been doing Karate four times a week. As we walked towards my studio, I sensed some extraordinary sex was about to take place. Luckily my diaphragm was still in place from the sex I'd had with Grant the night before.
Excerpt from Betty Dodson: My Sexual Revolution
In 1966 I was having the best orgasmic partner sex of my life with a brilliant English professor who had recently quit academia over politics. He was forty-two. I was thirty-six and had been separated six months from a sexless seven year marriage. He'd been divorced a year from a seventeen year marriage and had recently gone cold turkey off uppers and downers prescribed by his psychiatrist. He was an emotional mess going through withdrawal while I was convinced great sex would bring him back to mental health.
Excerpt from My Romantic Love Wars
After my first successful exhibition of heterosexual lovers in 1968, I found myself on a popularity skyrocket. Having a show of erotic art was like displaying a big advertisement that I'd be fun in bed. Many interesting Prince Charmings were available to me as I waltzed into the glittering world of the rich and famous.
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