Betty sketched these vulvas for the release of her international best seller Sex for One. Scarleteen and Planned Parenthood have reproduced these images as a sex education resource. Knowing that there is a range of vulva types has healed millions of women.
After hearing countless sex histories from girls and women over the past four decades, I believe sexual repression begins the moment a parent or caregiver punishes a child’s natural curiosity for touching their own sex organs.
Society needs to understand that the health of each person’s sexlife rests upon childhood masturbation— the foundation upon which all of human sexuality is based. It’s very consistent that each client I see struggling with orgasms as an adult has no memory of masturbating in childhood or in their teens. The absence of this natural self-exploration interferes with the development of nerve pathways that carry positive sensations from our genitals to the pleasure center in the brain. This blocks or slows down the development of sexual release with orgasm.
FIRST TIME ORGASM: Most young girls will begin by using their hands and massage oil. A young woman who has a history of little or no masturbation and has reached her mid to late-20s and is looking for her first orgasm, a battery driven vibrator can be a good choice. There are many of these vibrators available.
However, it you are in your thirties or older, the Magic Wand is also a good choice. If you are using a Wand, I recommend putting some kind of fabric between you and the vibrator to soften the vibes. Lately I've been putting a sock on mine. I use a thin or a thick one, depending upon my mood.
To my knowledge, there is no one-size-fits-all solution for a woman to remain vaginally active long past menopause without some kind of Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It's unfortunate, but each of us must find our own path through trial and error. First off, menopause varies greatly. What many don't know is that more than half of all women in the USA have little to no uncomfortable symptoms. After all, it's a natural transition we all experience. Others suffer with hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, memory loss, etc., symptoms that will eventually pass. However, medical professionals along with our overzealous pharmaceutical companies have turned menopause into a deficiency that needs to be treated.
Over the years, one frequently asked question comes from women and a few men who are unable to incorporate their current method of masturbation into partnersex.
Many have carried the same pattern of childhood masturbation over into adulthood and it's now the only way they can get off. Some are stimulating their genitals with one or both hands pressed between legs that are tightly squeezed together while lying face down on their tummies- not conducive to sharing orgasms with another person. Others are humping folded blankets, wooden floors, riding the arm of an overstuffed chair or pressing against hard counter tops.
Betty Dodson has proven though working with thousands of women that a strong pelvic floor muscle enhances orgasm with oneself and during partnersex. The same muscle also insures bladder control, maintains vaginal health, and contributes to a person's overall health.
Betty's Barbell is both a practical vaginal exerciser and an excellent pleasure device that she has used for years in teaching women about orgasm. Made of stainless steel, the Barbell is sturdy enough to become a family heirloom that can be passed down from grandmother to granddaughter.
Lately I’ve been getting men requesting sex coaching sessions similar to the work I do with women. While I believe this kind of sex training would make a big difference for them and their partners, private hands-on sessions with a man is called “prostitution” by our government.
Unfortunately, this remains illegal although it’s a victimless crime. Even a woman doing erotic massage is flirting with John Law. You can thank our puritanical government filled with lying, phony Christians, Mormons and Jews who consistently get caught “cheating” but end up redeemed after a round of public humiliation and they promise to seek professional help.
People always ask about Betty's Rock 'n Roll orgasm technique.
She spells it out in First Time Orgasm, Learn a New Orgasm: How to Upgrade Your Masturbation Technique and her orgasm ebook Learn How to Orgasm in 4 Acts.
Basically, you're lying on your back with your legs bent hip distance apart...rocking your pelvis forward as your squeeze your pc muscle then relaxing your pelvis as your release your pc muscle.
This year I was wise and stayed home instead of going out to greet the New Year at a party. Carlin and I had an early dinner at Les Halles our local French Bistro enjoying herb crusted rack of lamb. Delicious!
We shared a bottle of red wine with dinner followed by perks of tawny port and finally a glass of champagne. We always goof around with the Darling wait staff there, mostly handsome young men so it’s like an extended family when we show up.
This past Sunday I attended a birthday party to celebrate Dell Williams' 90th Birthday. I had been asked to MC the affair that turned out quite a number of aging feminists as well as a few young ones.
The apartment belonged to Irena, my contemporary who had a severe case of Osteoporosis where the spine could no longer support her head. Since my hearing loss even wearing hearing aids, I still need to see the person’s face I’m talking to. Irena was so bent over it was very difficult for me to understand what she was saying. Old age is a bitch!
It’s Fathers Day so I’m taking a moment to appreciate my Dad and a few other “Father Figures” in my life. There is always a certain amount of sadness when I think about my birth Father. I always called him “Daddy.”
Today it sounds a bit corny when I think of the current expression: “Who’s your daddy?” Does that mean who is the man I turn to in the time of need? Or the person who took care of me financially? Or is it referring to a lover or a husband? Or does it just mean the man whose sperm impregnated my mother? Perhaps it means all of the above.
We've been getting a ton of sex questions on lubricant. Recently, I had a twitter exchange with a friend who never thought of including lubricant in his masturbation practice...suffice it to say he's been thanking me ever since.
"Never touch a clitoris with a dry hand" - this was the first thing Betty told me when we sat down to map out topics for our youtube series (this goes for penises too). Yes, lubricant is the #1 sex toy but I don't think most people realize it because it's so basic.
All genitals feel more sensation when they're lubed up. When you get a massage, do they rub your skin with a dry hand or do they use massage oil? Why would it be different for your genitals? Lubricant is a must have for your masturbation practice AND partner sex.
Although society has yet to honor a sexually experienced woman, I’ve gotten a lot of personal satisfaction knowing what I want when it comes to partnersex. It’s always a pleasure to be with a person who is self-assured— confident in their ability to give and receive pleasure.
I prefer a man who can maintain an erection long enough to enjoy the dance of sexual love. If he’s not a cocksman, he has mastered oral and manual sex skills. Before any sexual contact takes place, we discuss birth control instead of him assuming it’s my sole responsibility. The following list also applies to women lovers.
1. Before any genital contact takes place, oil based lubrication comes first.
First let's define our terms so we are on the same page. A vibrator is toy that either plugs into an electrical outlet, operates by batteries or it’s rechargeable. They do what the name implies: they vibrate. A dildo is a toy that is designed for vaginal and/or anal penetration. As a rule, they do not vibrate although some models do.
The wisdom of Consciousness Raising Groups began with 70’s feminism. It was based on the concept that, “The personal is political.”
When women talk about our personal lives, we are describing the political system we live in. We are not isolated cases of misfortune, but victims of a male dominated authoritarian system determined to control our bodies and our sexuality. The CR solution was simple: By sharing the truth about our lives, we could find solutions through our collective efforts to change ourselves.