Lifestyle

You think you know everything about sex and then you're trumped by such an obvious fetish.  Over the weekend, an elderly man was arrested for blowing white pepper into a young cashier's face twice in an attempt to get her to sneeze.  I'm not sure if he wanted her to sneeze "on him".  I would think that the lack of control coupled with the spittle and possible snot would be part of the turn on. 

The worst part is that the cashier never sneezed.  The pepper went down her throat and not up her nose.  She had to go to the hospital so this poor old man was arrested on two counts of aggravated assault. 

I would sneeze on him right now. 

A woman's sexual rhythm is much different than a man's sexual rhythm. We take longer. View penetration sex as the warm up to your orgasm.

It was so refreshing to know that, for women, there IS a formula for the ultimate male sex partner (we all know the formula for men thanks to porn). So here's the recipe according to psychologists Cindy Meston and David Buss:

We like them Tall.

Studies consistently find that women consider tall men to be attractive. In analyses of personal ads, 80 per cent of women state they want to meet a man who is 6ft or taller. Two studies also found that taller-than-average men tend to have a greater number of live-in girlfriends and more children, confirming their popularity for romance and reproduction.

Even I was a bit shocked by these numbers.  Researchers who studied the link between sexual habits and alcohol consumption among 3,000 women found 50% preferred sex under the influence.  The reason: alcohol helped them lose their inhibitions.

This is what happens when you cut sex ed, cram abstinence until marriage down everyone's throats, perpetuate the slut stigma, and try to control human sexuality by shaming women.  We still have sex but we can't take responsibility for our decisions so we have a few drinks to absent ourselves.  Talk about a compromising situation.  You don't remember how much fun it was and you're less likely to be in the moment - less likely to communicate what you want and insist on protection.

Here's some other alarming facts:

Marylou is going to be featured on WE's Secret Lives of Women (one of my favorite shows) on September 22. Here's a small clip of her episode:

The Daily Beast has finally proven what I've known to be true - that career women who opted out of the labor market are bearing the brunt of the economic meltdown. 

I so remember that NY Times piece about the Opt-Out Revolution like it was yesterday.  It was this phenom where women with Ivy league educations and corner offices were "opting out" of the labor market to be soccer moms citing the stress of balancing work and family (and the fact that you're penalized for motherhood while your male counterparts are promoted for having the stability of a loving family, oh, and you still have to do 80% of the household chores).

Nax is kind of scary but he is a German export.  Not only is he going bald on top with a long flowing ponytail a la Michael Bolton circa the ‘90s, he also sports a pubic bush that would make a forest jealous.

Although the Germans describe Nax as "a giant of a man with athletic appeal", it's quite obvious that they didn't consult a female focus group.  Men are always so scared of competition ;)

So if you have $10,000 lying around for a sex doll know that Nax isn't always ready to go with a massive erection. He has an "automatically soaring penis" and "artificial automatic ejaculation."

Thank you, Sex & The City, for reducing us to self-absorbed shopaholics waiting for prince charming:

American women are more egocentric and narcissistic than we ever used to be, according to extensive research by two leading psychologists.

More of us have huge expectations of ourselves, our lives and everyone in them. We think the universe resolves around us, with a deluded sense of our own fabulousness, and believe we are cleverer, more talented and more attractive than we actually are.

Once a traditionally male syndrome, narcissism generally begins at home and in schools, where children are praised excessively, often spoiled rotten and given the relentless message that they are 'special'.

Psychology professors Jean Twenge and Keith Campbell analysed studies on 37,000 college students in 2006.

Betty answered the question, I posted it, and it got over 2,000 reads in a matter of hours. We had to put it to bed once and for all.

Facebook disabled my account.  First, I thought it was a jilted ex then I realized that I was censored.  I only posted links to Betty's essays and our podcasts.  I can't tell you how much better I feel not having to deal with my facebook page:

I heard about this story a few weeks ago, and I wanted to talk about it here; but, somehow, I got distracted, as what normally tends to happen when I'm writing, so it quickly disappeared into the recesses of my mind. But, when I heard about the ripple (almost a wave) of crimes occurring in my hometown, Bridgeport (Conn), I was quickly reintroduced to the one idea that got away. It was surprisingly one of the many violent assaults that have overwhelmed the city (two of which ended in murder). As of yet, the victims were released slightly unscathed.

My friend and colleague Marty Klein does it again with his criticism of sex self-help books. I've put my name on hundreds of friends self-help books and have written a few myself. Rarely do these books change people's sex lives into roaring pornified partnersex with screaming mind blowing orgasms. That last one, "Mind blowing orgasms" is my favorite one to hate.

My books "Liberating Masturbation" and it's follow up "Sex For One" simply gave permission so people could enjoy sex with themselves without guilt. That's the best most authors of sex books can do. Give permission and inspire, not promise all that other crap!  Here's the entire piece from Marty Klein's newsletter Sexual Intelligence:

I just got a tea cup Schnauzer. His previous owner Daniel said his name was taken from the Harry Potter books: Phineas Nigellus, the Slytherin Headmaster at Hogwarts. The first time I saw this sweet 5 month old creature, he was laying on his back in a young girls arms riding in the elevator. When I looked into his tiny black button eyes, it was love at first sight and I asked, "What planet are you from little one?" That's when she said he was for sale at a price that was prohibitive. l later discovered she was living with Daniel who bought Phineas in Texas for $2,500 and was selling him for 3 grand to cover costs of shots and doggie equipment. He'd recently moved into my building and although he loved his little dog, he had two large Mancoon cats that Phineas would not leave alone. Daniel feared the big cats were going to hurt the little guy so he put a for sale sign in the mail room. I resigned myself to seeing Phineas in the elevator or lobby with his new owner from time to time.

This week's travel through this particular kink was inspired by a book that I discovered at our museum. Satanica Sexualis is a devilishly comprehensive resource that delineates the taboo relationship we have with demonology, black magic, and the grandmaster of evil himself. Upon reading about one particular Black Mass in which the host has sex with his virgin sacrifice, I had not considered where the origin of the word "fetishism" sprung from, which means religion of the fetish. Its multi-lingual derivations, from Latin to Italian, generally translate to witchcraft. What we explore each week is based on the erotic mysticism that we connect with our fetish-object.

But, we are going to transcend through the spectrum of religious sex and not only explore demonic fantasies, but also how the images of rosary beads and men of the cloth can get some of us-maybe you-very, very horny.