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Ask Betty

Feeling Guilty & Wondering if Childhood Sex Play was Abuse

Published June 26th by Betty Dodson

Dr. Betty,

I hope you have a moment for me. Forgive my length. I have a personal question that's been tormenting but I'm too ashamed to ask anyone I know. I've been casually following you for years and I'm sure you won't judge me too harshly. I'm wondering if I was abused and if a friend I had for many years, I'll call him John, was the abuser rather than a friend. I'm torn between the excitement I had and the guilt I feel. I sometimes feel ashamed. I feel bad but at the same time get aroused by my memories and wish I had done more. I'm not sure whether to report him or thank him. One thing I know- my libido is high because of him so I masturbate often when I'm not having sex.

Why Not Combine Clitoris with Vaginal Penetration?

Published June 24th by Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Dodson,

First, let me thank you for your wonderful website! I have been coming here for several years and have learned an enormous amount about sexuality from your comprehensive information. I would like to comment on your views about vaginal orgasm, however. While I understand your wish to clarify how and where women experience orgasm, I feel that on occasion you dismiss entirely those of us who do in fact enjoy vaginal orgasm. I recognize that I am in a minority when it comes to having vaginal orgasms, and that you necessarily direct your information to that majority of women who do not have the good fortune to experience vaginal orgasms.

Are There Health Benefits to Prostate Milking?

Published June 23rd by Eric Amaranth

Eric, I was wondering if there are any health benefits to prostate milking. I've been reading that the release of semen is much slower and consistance, there is a higher volume of semen, and the semen is more flowing compared to ejaculation. Other articles discuss how prostate milking is prevention for prostate cancer also. Is this something I could get a doctor to perform on me? What are your thoughts on the subject?

Looking to Orgasm During Masturbation Then Sex

Published June 23rd by Betty Dodson

Dear Betty,

I am having difficulty both with orgasm during masturbation and with a partner. I think I have experienced tension orgasm and no touch orgasm before (they aren't reliable though: my longest was after exercise and wasn't in a place I could relax into it). So I know I'm not having them with sex and masturbation.

Chronic Yeast Infections = Forced Chastity

Published June 23rd by Betty Dodson

I have a chronic yeast infection that the doctors, after years of trying, can't fix. The infection causes bleeding every, and I mean every, time I have sex. Guys won't stick around for that. Nobody likes to give oral to yeast. And masturbation is getting old. How am I supposed to deal with this!?!

No Feeling Inside my Vagina

Published June 23rd by Betty Dodson

I have never had any feeling inside my vagina. I never have since I started having sex. I can feel that something is there but no pleasure at all, not even a little. And I know for a fact that it is NOT the guy. I have had a few different sex partners over the years of different shapes, sizes, and performances. I can have a mind blowing orgasm by playing with my clit but never from inside.

How Can I Let My Husband Bring Me to Orgasm?

Published June 22nd by Betty Dodson

Hi Betty,

What can I do to allow myself to let my husband bring me to orgasm. Over the years I've had very lazy lovers who were not interested in putting in the effort to find out what worked for me. Although I masturbated my entire life I never accidently had an orgasm and being in a very religious family I had never realized that women did.

I find it odd that I didn't accidently have one as I spent a lot of time masterbating through my teens. I was 18 before I had sex and my first boyfriend told me about female orgasms. When I couldn't promptly perform he simply bought me a vibrator. That did the trick.

Could Medication for a Movement Disorder Be Blocking My Orgasms?

Published June 19th by Marylou Naccarato

I'm a 31-year-old woman, with a mild movement disorder, and do not think I've ever orgasmed. Don't think. I've read some of your literature and perhaps my occasional mild wave of release could be one...but...not sure.

When I was 8-years-old I started having parsoxysmal uncontrolled spasms. I didn't lose consciousness, but was very scared. It turns out I had the movement/ seizure disorder parosysmal dyskinesia. Since then I've been on carbamezapine which I read may inhibit orgasms.

How Can I Become Multi-Orgasmic On Demand?

Published June 18th by Betty Dodson

I'm sure this question has been brought up several times but I have to ask for myself...I spent 2.5 years in an abusive relationship when the main goal of sex was for my boyfriend to orgasm, not me. I was just used to letting him use me to get his nut off. I thought I was passed that when I had sex with my next partner and had orgasms no problem. Now I'm in another serious relationship, my next relationship since the bad one, and I can't consistently have an orgasm. Sometimes I can and it's great but I can only do it once.