Ask Betty

I'm a virgin, but I think about sex a lot. Boys aren't attracted to me (I'm straight) and erotica provides no release. I've tried masturbating, but no matter what I do I can't orgasm although I get very wet. And when I touch my clitoris no matter how light or if I move in small circles, take my time or indirectly rub, it doesn't feel at all pleasurable or arousing. It feels weird I guess, but not good. When I was a child I discovered that if my bladder was full and I applied pressure it felt very good.

I used to always crave sex and get turned on much more than I do now. I love my boyfriend and I am attracted to him. I'm just not in the mood as much. I wish I could feel different but I'm not sure what the problem is. Why?!

I recently discovered this web page and your writing - and I was really excited because I find the work you do so amazing. I agree with many of the things you say about sex and about relationships in general and it's good to have it put into words for once. Though I've always been pretty confident about my sexuality, following the things you and Carlin are doing strengthens me and makes me even more open about it. So: Thank you!

However, besides my appreciation for you, there is another reason why I'm writing to you. To introduce myself: I'm a 22-year-old woman and I've been sexually active with partners since I was 17. I have abandoned exclusive relationships for some time now and I'm very happy experimenting right now. I have always enjoyed sex play, as you might call it, as "a whole", with vaginal penetration being just one part of it. Though I love it that way, I'd sometimes like to have more vaginal intercourse than I "can".

I somehow find penetration very uncomfortable after a time (which can be pretty short).

HI,

I like your website, i got so many information from your websit, it is very useful to me, and i have a question for you. I am a 24yr old, have girlfriend. I met her before two year, we are very close and going to get married in couple of years. we lost our virgin an year before. from that day we enjoy a lot it is continued till now. we use to have sex twice in a week. she is also very sexy,good in all & me too. but the question is, i am not able to give 100% satisfaction to her. I noted this thing after we had sex. I did all activities on her. but i am fully satisfied. so kindly help me out this. HOW TO SATISFY MY GIRL?

Does masturbation help keep your vagina tight?

Dear Betty and Carlin,

First of all, let me say you two women are so incredibly beautiful and inspiring. I have just discovered your podcasts, and they are so funny, and i cannot help cracking up when you do. Stunning people.

You both speak about having sex outside a relationship as healthy, as i understand it, and that the idea of monogamy is a moral social construct. My question is about how one can overcome this feeling of extra-marrital affair as being wrong.

is it safe to swallow semen my hubby wants me to but i need to know if its safe to do so i have tasted it before and dont mind the taste but i need to know how the swallow will be.

Dear Betty & Carlin:

I am in my mid 40s, and during the past 6 months I have had a huge sexual awakening and catharsis which I attribute to hormonal fluctuations (perimenopause maybe?) and hence, a new interest in all things sexual; i've always had mental issues with sex due to an early childhood abuse situation, and a rape when I was in my teens. But now, I feel as though I have finally broken through all that, and want to make up for lost time.

Dear Dr. Betty:

I am a twenty-five year old female, who has been sexually active since the age of 16. Never once have I had an orgasm; not by myself nor with a partner. I have been in a relationship for over a year, with a man I believe is going to be my husband one day. He is the only person I have ever told about my inability to orgasm. I always thought I would die without experiencing an orgasm. And I was okay with that. I never thought it was something that I really needed. But now, I can honestly say, that this is a great source of sadness for me.

Dearest darling Dr. Betty~

As with most people who request your expertise and knowledge on all things sexually-oriented, I have a personally perplexing question that has been bothering me for quite some time. Also like many of the other curious people who have asked for your guidance, I: have had a serious boyfriend of 3+ years, never come to orgasm during intercourse (only during masturbation), have a healthy relationship with my body, and watch porn once in awhile when I can't see my boyfriend for weeks on end. Now, this is where the tricky part comes in--I never feel a sexual NEED to masturbate, I just do because it feels good.

Lately i cant help masturbating two three times a day is that too much. Also i love doing it in places that i may get caught like the local woods where i totally strip off and then imagine a women watching me this always makes me cum like mad. I also love to masturbate women listen to me on the phone. Do you think something is wrong with me.

Do you agree that women like being led in the bedroom by a strong man who excites her. I know some women love to be man handled (oviously to a point) and taken by a real man. if the man knows how to have sex right she will have the best experience of her life. And feel a stonrger sense of exctasy all over her body rather than just in the vaginal area. Women have told me and also i see other products showing with similar responses. Women love being taken by a man inside the bedroom so she can just let go and unleash her sexuality. IN your opinion why is that.

Hello, I am 42 years old and was raised by parents who did not inform me about sex at all. Believe it or not at this age I am learning as I go. I am an only child and such topics were not discussed it was too embarrasing to them. Unfortunately my mother passed away from cancer when I was 15 so I missed getting what question and knowledge from her was lost. Then when I lost my virginity the experience truthfully was less then what I expected.

My question is how many guys can perform self fellatio, or am I out of the normal? My wife finds it too hot and loves watching me do this. Is it normal for women to enjoy this or not? She has tried but never comes any way close. I will probablly never stop as it feels so good to be able to get myself off this way, rather than masturbating.

Hi Betty,

I have been looking at your gallery and at other sites, and then have looked at my own vulva, and have found out that I have a very small clitoris. I never gave this any thought before, but now I am pretty much obsessed about it. I barely have a hood, my labia beginning almost right at the point my outer labia meet. You can barely feel my clit with a finger, less alone see it.