Ask Betty

I have watched countless tutorials, read countless books on the matter, but for the life of me cannot find my own G Spot. When I masturbate and actually let a finger wander inside my vagina, I can't tell any structure or texture apart in there. It all feels the same. I'd like to be able to find it and try to ejaculate, but I'm not even sure if I've ever come before.

Betty and Carlin,

It has been one of the greatest blessings in my life to have come upon your website. I only recently began having vaginal sex because of previously being fairly conservative, coming from a Christian home. My boyfriend is great at hand and oral stimulation and is pretty good at vaginal sex, but since his last girlfriend somehow got off easily from vaginal sex, he had little experience/didn't really know about stimulating the clit during partnersex. Of course, I had no idea about it either. Luckily, after only two sessions of having little luck in the orgasm department on my end, we decided to research sex online. We came across your youtube videos, and what a great surprise! So much great info!

My boyfriend recently told me that he read on the internet that having vaginal sex during period might help to relive my cramps. Also I was wondering if it was the orgasm that would help with the cramps or just the vaginal sex. We haven't tested it out yet and I'm just kind of curious.

I'm 19 years old and I don't enjoy sex. Ever since I lost my virginity at 16 i've had 3 partners and have not been able to have enjoyable sex with any of them. Every time I have been well lubricated, so I don't think that is the problem. I already went to my gynocologist twice on this issue and she pretty much did not have anything useful to tell me other than that all my sexual pleasure will come from my clitoris. Not that I completely disagree with that, but isn't penetration supposed to be somewhat enjoyable??

I am circumcised and restored. I understand what a foreskin means to an intact male in the way of comfort and sensitivity. My question is regarding female preference during intercourse.

In most surveys I have seen, American females show a preference for a circumcised penis. This is because most American women are predisposed towards circumcision and few have experienced intercourse with a natural penis. That may be changing, but, oh, so slowly. European women, on the other hand, have little experience with circumcised men. Thus, European women are predisposed towards the natural male.

Hi Betty,

I am an 18 year old virgin, although I have been masturbating and experiencing orgasms since the age of 8 or 9. For most of my "masturbation life" I've gotten off from rubbing myself against something and fantasying about many kinky topics; I've never been able to orgasm from simply rubbing, there has to be some type of "role" happening in my head as I masturbate. More recently, I made my first trip to my town's Lover's Package to purchase some sex toys. I had been worried that I couldn't orgasm any other way than rubbing myself against something; fingering myself felt good, but never brought me anywhere close to orgasm.

Hey Dr. Betty,

I am a 23 year old woman who gets very very wet. I have always been this way and never thought anything about it until I was in my first relationship with another woman. She never even got as close to being as wet as me even when she was really turned on and told me she had only been with one other woman who got so wet and she was a squirter. Since then I have met this wonderful guy. He tells me that I feel loose and he slips around a lot.

Hi Betty,

I have a huge problem. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now. She was in a very violent relationship before me and when we got together it took us five months before having sex. In the beginning she would twist when I would just touch her back, not in the good sense. She doesn't like oral sex, well she loves giving but not receiving. I've never given her oral sex. She doesn't like me to touch her, she likes touching me. It's been very few times when I've penetrated her with my fingers. She has cysts and says it's painful for her. When I try to touch her she starts touching me so she is the one giving me pleasure or she gives me excuses like she needs to go to the bathroom or something like that.

Doctor Dodson,

I have a stepson who is about to turn 16 and I've been a mother to him since he was 12. I never raised a son of my own so I do all the reading I can do. I try and do my best to be support him without judging him. He masturbates and we're all very open about it, his dad, him and I. so I have encouraged him to masturbate. I read your stuff and I trust you and so I encourage him.

Dear Dr. Dodson,

Since 2006, I've worked various hustles (mostly in food and retail) to put myself through art school in Philadelphia. But what I really want to do is sex work! I consider myself sexually liberated. I've been masturbating to orgasm since fourteen, and have amassed a variety of tools and skills that I use to enjoy myself. I feel that this ability has allowed me to also enjoy sexual relationships with a wide range of partners (different orientations, genders, races, and ages!). I am sure that I could be financially and emotionally successful once I started, but I don't know how to safely enter the industry. Do you have any advice on how to become a sex worker?

Dear Dr. Dodson,

I need your view on something. I am thinking about holding back my 15 yr old daughter, I'll call Sarah, from attending a 2 week summer camp because of something that recently happened between a friend and her. I recently walked into my daughters room while she was masturbating. Sarah was quite ashamed about it and started to unload. She confessed that an older girlfriend of 17 had just introduced her to her 1st real orgasm during several recent sleepovers.

Dr. Betty,

I don't believe much in any "diagnosis" but the vaginismus that developed, probably after sexual abuse, just does not seem to clear. In spite of "practicing" with vibrators etc. Clitoral orgasm is fine. I have the feeling that the condition is both physical and has an emotional companion :fear.

Dr. Betty,

My wife and I are newly married. Although we enjoy intercourse a few times a week, she LOVES to masturbate. It gives her a different kind of orgasm she says and it is very strong. She needs to orgasm often and masturbation enables this. She started doing it very young with a girlfriend and it just grew on her. Although she has tried, we both agreed that there's no changing her now and so she should just enjoy life's simple pleasures.

She got used to masturbating around lunchtime everyday with her roomate while she was in college and so later continued while working from home for the past two years.

Hello Betty,

Thank you for being you. You have influenced me so much. I want to ask you about genital shaving. I probably have an average amount of hair in the pelvic region. I do have some hair that grows around the outer parts of my lips in between my legs. I enjoy being natural but guys seem to want me to shave. I will trim and take care of any wildness but I hate shaving. I have really sensitive skin. I always get terrible razor burn and uncomfortable itching.

My husband & I both have genital herpes. He is asymptomatic (that is why I contracted it because he was unaware of even having it!) & I have a break out once a yr.the size of my pinky nail. This has never hindered our lives and we have 2 beautiful children.

We entered the swing lifestyle about 6 months ago. As moral people, we both agreed before any sexual penetration we would tell the couple what we have & let them decide for themselves. We are not into "booty calls;" but rather want an ongoing friendship AND a sexual relationship with another couple. People we can converse with & go out to dinner with, etc. We have articulated this in our profiles on the 2 swing websites we belong to. People have responded to us and have genuinely liked us upon meeting but when we told them that we have herpes it was a deal breaker (the men didn't care but the women did).