Ask Betty

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. I can always bring myself to orgasm alone within minutes, but have never had an orgasm with him. He doesn't want to use my vibrator while we are together, even though I only want it for clitoral stimulation. I am the only woman he has had sex with, and I have never orgasmed with another boyfriend, so we don't really know what to do.

I'm nineteen and after a while into masturbating (unfortunately it occasionally takes me a bit, but I'm guessing that's from being pretty much new to it?) I'll feel like I'm right on the edge to an orgasm- but then it feels like I get way too sensitive to keep going since it gets painful. I really enjoy the build up, but then it gets to that point that I honestly can't stand it.

You never mention much about foreplay. I have found that having my breasts fondled and the nipples sucked sends me into a divine orbit ready for anything he can provide. What about this important prelude to orgasm?

Is it normal for my labia to be bumpy? I have had numerous exams and I had a std test last year and have only had sex with one person since. It came back with nothing. Should I be concerned? it has been bumpy ever since I can remember.

Dear Betty,
(you're my hero, by the way!)

When I'm aroused, I feel the arousal in my mind and in my mouth. I start fantasizing about oral activities... kissing and licking my way down their body, sucking their toes, going up to lick and suck on their clit or cock. The same was true when I was stripping... when I was aroused, I didn't feel aroused in my genitals, I felt it in my mouth. This is all well and fine, but I'd like to feel arousal in my vulva! What are your thoughts?

Hey, I'm 20 yrs old. I been feeling really self concious about my vagina or clit in particular. I have been told by a few sex partners that my clit is "huge"...Im too embarrassed to ask my GYN. But it pisses me off/hurts my self esteem when guys say this to me.. Do you think I should get that surgery?

Dear Betty and Carlin

I am writting because i have a doubt, and I didn't find much information about it in internet.

Sometimes, when i need to pee I get a very intense feeling, similar to an orgasm, in my whole body, specially in my nipples. The feeling gets more intense if I am aroused, but sometimes I get it without beeing aroused.  The feeling is great, so I usually try to enjoy it, but my question is why does this happen to me, and does it have a bad consequence?

hi betty, i am 22 years old and have just recently started to have orgasms again. my first orgasm was when i was 19 years old, it took forever, but the man i was with was very experienced and patient. oh, and i was stoned. it only happened that one time, and i haven't been able to orgasm with a man since. however, upon discovering this mind blowing pleasure, i began masturbating with a shower head. it would normally take between 45 minutes to an hour and a half!

I recently started trying to insert two fingers into my vagina when I masturbate and I find it hard to get two fingers in and even painful. I can easily fit one finger in and I was wondering if this is just because I am a virgin and it will change or if it will be like that no matter what?

Betty,

I've been using the magic wand for a few months. I'm 53 and for the first time in a long time enjoying climax. The problem is when ever I reach my climax I urinate. Is this normal? Can I do anything about this. I do this alone. I am married but intercourse has not been good for me for a long time.

I'm 23 and unable to orgasm. My story is a little different from most women who cannot orgasm. I've been masturbating my entire life--and that's where I think the problem is. Ever since I can remember, I've been masturbating. When I was little, it was natural for me to keep my hand over my vulva. However, I never orgasmed and didn't really experience sexual pleasure--it was just a comfort. Now, I get no pleasure out of using my hands. The closest I came to an orgasm was after watching lesbian porn and using a vibrator...but it just never happened.

Hello! I'm almost 40 and I've been masturbating all my life just by rubbing my clitoris against a bunched up piece of cloth and while laying on my stomach. The technique works for me, but it is very embarassing while I'm with a man. Can you tell me if it is possible, at my age, to learn masturbating the "conventional" way, while leaning on the back or while sitting? If yes, what do you suggest I should do?

Hi,

First I want to thank you sooooo much for introducing me to the Hitachi Wand--at the age of 31 i had my first orgasm with the wand! and have recommended it to all my friends. i LOVE the wand. it's the only thing i can get an orgasm with and I'm okay with that even though I konw it has frustrated some partners. Anyway, I am in a relationship for the first time that has me wanting to have my boyfriend be a part of my orgasm--ie., help me orgasm with the use of a toy.

Dear Betty

I'm 31, married with two wonderful kids and an equally wonderful husband. We have a very routinish sex life. I initiated much more than him when we were younger and have always been quite an erotic person - now Ive "de-sexed" myself (is that a term?), so that we're equally unerogenous. I know this suites my husband well, as all he's ever wanted was sex once a week (dominant male - non-dominant female etc. etc). I'm easily turned on by my husband and adore him. I'm sad that my sexuality is somewhat repressed - and often climax alone during masturbation simply because our love-making is not very exciting to me.

Dear Dr. Betty:

Many thanks to you and Carlin for such a sex-positive site. My question concerns weddings. My male cousin is getting married and the whole wedding planning thing has really caused so many bad feelings within the families involved. To make a long story somewhat short, my cousin's fiance has been dreaming of her wedding day since she was a little girl. Her mother has stated that this will be the weddings to end all weddings (here's hoping). The expense is getting out of control and my aunt and uncle can not afford their share of the costs.

My question is: Why do most women have these wedding fantasies? I am guilty as well.