Ask Betty

I am 19 years old and have been having sex with my boyfriend for a little over one year now. I have yet to have an orgasm. I bought a vibrator thinking it would be an easy fix, as my mom told me it would be, but most of the time, I don't seem to have a reaction with the sensations. I am on birth control and I have heard that the pill can affect the clitoris and make it substantially less sensitive.

Dear Betty,

I am a 20 year old woman who feels very apathetic towards sex and masturbation in general. I didn't masturbate as a child. I never "discovered" my clitoris, nor did I ever play with it. It was something I just didn't think about doing. Even today I am hardly sexual. I have brought myself to orgasm, and it was purely exploratory on my part. I didn't enjoy, nor did I dislike the experience.

Hey!! I know it's always the same,..and i think i already know the answer for my specific problem. But maybe you know a better one. I get no orgasm, even if my friend licks the pussy..it feels good and then it feels like im close. but doesnt work. the problem is, when i masturbate, its only possible to get an orgasm in a very strange position. I close my legs and brace them and then i stimulate the clit. But how can i free myself from this ONE position...

Much of the time i hate being a female because it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to orgasm through sex. Why did God make it so difficult for women to orgasm and so easy for men to orgasm through sexual intercourse? I would want to engage in sex with him if it was more pleasurable for me. I think most women would agree.

Sex with my boyfriend is amazing. Matter of fact, its so amazing that I want to have multiple orgasms, but after I have that first one things start to get uncomfortable. I need a long break in between orgasms (like 20 minutes). Only once have I been able to orgasm twice during sex and it was just recently. Im starting to think that I am weird. Is there anything that I can do to have multiples? And if so, what?

Hi Betty and Carlin,

My boyfriend is uncircumsized and occasionally when we have sex, his foreskin bleeds -- it seems like it tears when he penetrates me. The first time it happened it was really scary and upsetting to me; there was a LOT of blood. STDs are not an issue for us, but sex causing him pain is a major issue.

My husband has stopped kissing me intimately.No french kisses , no neck kisses. He has never given me a clear answer as to why he has stopped. We have an ok sex life, but, this No kissing stage has me concerned. It has been going on for years now ! Need help !

Is it possible that a clit can be too short? Mine is never externally visible, even when I'm aroused... Also, I can masturbate to sort of a mild orgasm in the shower, using the full force of my showerhead's jets, but I've never been able to masturbate to orgasm using a vibrator or just my hands-- they just don't provide enough stimulation. This leads me to think that my clit's just too short to make it out of me enough to to be able to receive any stimulation.

Hi,
I am 21 and I've just met a guy (20, but very mature for his age) and we both really like each other. We haven't gone as far as saying that we are in a relationship, cause it's to early for that, really. But we seem to trust each other very much. We've figured out why our first times together haven't been as good as we both hoped for. And though he did cum, he found it a little boring, as well as I did. We found out that we were just both being shy and not playing around enough. My problem is that I have never had an orgasm during intercourse.

Hey Betty,

Well I'm 19 have had sex a couple of times and can't orgasm. I have been masturbating ever since I was a little girl but haven't orgasmed. Am I doing something wrong? I used to think that I masturbated for a couple of minutes and that lengthening the session would help. This didn't though. Should I invest in a vibrator?

I have a problem with my son who is 16. Recently he has taken a liking to wearing my panties. He thinks that I don't know about his fetish because he replaces my panties carefully, but I know. Last week I discovered that two or three of my sanitary pads were missing, and yesterday I found one pad in a basement wastebasket. Obviously Bob had masturbated on the pad. I can't help thinking he wanted me to find the ejaculation.

Hello, I have just left a five+ year relationship with a man who never got me off. I must say I feel partially responsible for this, as I've never been a masturbator, and know very little about my vulva. I watched one of your videos and am now determined to orgasm, but I feel like my genitals have lost sensitivity. Is it possible to kill your clit by ignoring it, and can it come back to life with practice?

Hey betty,

I've been wondering this question for a long time. I have been with my bf for 2 years and he's been wanting to give me oral but im scared for many reasons. he keeps telling me that its not a big deal but I want to get over my fears and make him happy so please help me. btw your my hero and amazing.

I am hetero woman in my 60's and have lost most of my pubic hair. It looks so ugly, I feel so repelled, I can't look at myself or touch myself. How does one "groom" oneself with so little hair left?

Also, have been celibate a long time now. Used to masturbate a great deal during periods of celibacy, but have no sexual libido now. How to get it back? I hate feeling sexually dead.

I came across an article in the New Scientist showing how ejaculation relieves hay fever and allergies. I have a son who just turned 14 and has always had severe allergies but all those medications never helped much. Also, decongestants have side effects and cause other problems when you use them heavily over long stretches. I know my son had begun masturbating since our talk last year on the birds and the bees so it was time anyway to have another talk. I decided to roll this in and suggest he experiment.