I am in a loving and beautiful and sexy marriage with an incredible man who also happens to have a physical disability. He uses a wheelchair and cannot walk, but he has full sensation in his body with the ability to get erect and cum like any other able-bodied man. We are very passionate about each other, but because of his physical limitations, our sex (intercourse) has become repetitive. There are only two positions that are possible for us.
I want to infuse some excitement into our sex life. We do a lot of foreplay, which is great, but I was wondering if you can point me in the direction of some resources where we can learn how to take our intercourse to the next level.
I have noticed that the first few times I'm with a new person we spend A LOT of time being sexy together. Like hours in a row. This seems normal because we're getting to know each other's bodies and it's super exciting. But if this new-sexy-getting-to-know-each-other-for-hours-night involves hours of different types of vaginal fingering or other penetration it always means my vagina and vulva are sore for the next day or couple of days.
I'm a 23 year old girl and it's been two months since I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years. A month ago I met this super cute guy and since we both weren't looking for anything serious, we ended up fucking. Since then, we have had sex about six times. Every time we've gotten intimate though, I have had a hard time getting wet as well as reaching orgasm. When I was with my boyfriend, I would constantly be soaking wet around him as well as when we would get intimate since I was so attracted to him.
I have a new partner who has an significantly upward curved penis and I dont know how to perform oral sex.
He is a very attentive and pleasing partner. As we have only had sex a couple of times and are working through another issue, I am reluctant to talk to him about this ... yet although I agree that communication is key (and we do but I dont want to discuss this yet from concern that it may impact on another issue we are working through (ED!)).
Hello Dr Betty,
I have a bit of a sprawling question, and I'm hoping you can help. I am in my late 20s, female, and have been sexually active for a long time.
My problem is that for the past 6 months, during sex and intimate contact with my current partner, I have been getting panic attacks and absolute loss of confidence. The episodes are sudden and unpredictable, one day I may be comfortable and happy to give a blowjob, the next day I might feel like I don't know how to even begin and the idea freaks me out entirely! It is playing havoc with my confidence levels and the last few times its happened I've ended up sobbing because I feel so annoyed and stupid and at the same time filled with fear.
After reading one of your ebooks "learn how to orgasm", I followed the instructions and got my first orgasm ever with masturbation at the age of 38 (a year ago)! I was completely shocked, I thought I was frigid and did not believe that masturbation can make me orgasm (before, the only orgasms I experienced was with clitoral toys in my 30's).
I recently started watching porn (I like watching public sex, or getting tied up...something you are not supposed to do). And if I like the porn I can manually masturbate and orgasm in minutes!
Hi Dr. Betty,
I'm only in my thirties and yet my pussy hair is going gray...like a lot! We all know that the hair on our heads goes gray with age but I guess I've never really thought about pussy hair turning gray too. I'm too young for a gray pussy!! Do all women go gray down there?
I think I'm going to shave my pussy bald. Don't want to see all that gray hair. Makes me feel old.
According to my workshops and private sessions, women are letting their pubes grow out. I honestly prefer pubic hair to a bald pussy. My bush is now an assortment of thinning brown, gray and white hair. It's such a pleasure not to shave or wax. Just a few unruly hairs get trimmed with scissors around my clitoris and vaginal opening.
To each her own.
Dear Dr. Dodson,
I hope you are very well!
Please forgive me for taking up your time and energy but we thought you maybe able to give us a lead on how to treat our FGM patient who had her clitoral restorative surgery with Dr. Bowers last month and who is suffering from vaginismus. This is a condition that is not the result of the surgery but most likely the result of the circumcision since she has been suffering from it for many years.
Diana Urman LCSW, our new volunteer Clitoraid psychologist, (here in CC) is looking for ways to help our patient and I suggested reaching out to you for advice.
We look forward to your reply if you can spare the time.
With continued admiration of your lifetime legacy to women's sexuality,
Dearest Betty D.
Hope you are well and thriving. I've been thinking about you being right about using indian terms for sex related things.
I have been getting an ear full from smart college students about appropriation, and beth took all these classes about colonization of cultures.
And in time, I have decided yes, its better to use our own terms...not other cultures.
That's what we are loving about our ecosex stuff. Creating all our own words and ideas (of course all ancient ideas recycled).
Anyways, just wanted you to know that those seeds you planted have sprouted.
Love you Betty.
I love it that you took the time to tell me this. It lets me know that some of my cranky complaints about nearly EVERYTHING ended up making sense.
My masturbation technique is in you book "Sex for One" as "Larry S. from Poughkeepsie" a fictious name...I sent you a VHS video also in the early 1990s of me masturbating by stroking a womans magazine and climaxing which you enjoyed!
I am still masturbating twice daily by stroking magazines such as Ladies'HomeJOurnal, GoodHousekeeping, Redbook, Woman'sDay, Woman'sWOrld, WeightWatchers, OPRAH magazine, ESSENCE magazine, COSMOPOLITAN!!!, GLAMOUR, VOGUE, MARIE CLAIRE, ELLE, Bazaar, SELF, WomansHealth and still do it with SEVENTEEN!!! (did I forget any?)
i am a 54 yr old (actually 54 years young)woman,mother of three grown up kids. I am a fitness instructor and in a wonderful relationship with the father of my kids for the past 25 yrs; i have never much orgasmed through penetration (apart with dildos) but i always had through masturbation or clit stimulation; alas now im into the menopause my libido has dropped to zero and so have my orgasms.
i would like to add that i am very proud by the way i look, i am of a lean and muscular disposition due to my job and usually people think i am much younger than my real age, such is my disposition to life and my looks...
I am 21 yrs old and I have been in a serious relationship for the past 2 yrs. We have live together for the almost a year now and to myths relationship isn't no longer going to well. For the most part, sexually. He was only the second guy I had ever slept and the sex was get! But for the last.....okay its been for almost the last year sex just crashed. I just don't want to have sex.
Dear Dr. Betty,
I hope you can help me. :(
I've had clitoral pain/hypersensitivity while masturbating for two years and finally worked up the courage to mention it to my gynae—stupid, I know, not to tell them sooner, but I was embarrassed—she looked me over and promptly announced that my clitoris was "overlarge" and had slipped its protective hood. She then sternly admonished me not to go rubbing it! As the clitoris is my only source of pleasure, I find this an unsatisfactory answer. I don't know what to do. I haven't been "rough" with myself as she suggested, but I sometimes get painful throbs out of nowhere.
i think you are amazing!! Anyway, i was watching a video and you mentioned gag reflex. Some days i'm a champ no gagging and others its bad. Just wondering how i could stop that completely. I know practice could help. Also I've never been able to deep throat and have the guy cum straight down it. Once it happened and i nearly choked to death Hahaha.. Would just like to know your thoughts.
Thanks so much A
So, I'm 16. I discovered masturbation at a young age, then eventually quit for some reason or another because I thought it was bad. (I don't remember my child hood because I've blocked it out because it was decently bad, but I suppose things could always be worse).
I discovered your website about 6 months ago, and I love it, and thank you and Carlin both for putting all of this information out there. In a way, you two are like the mothers I've never had. My mother was never really in my life. I learned from the both of you, what I should have learned from her.