Y'all... I have a confession. Please don't disown me. I deserve to be spanked (in the bad way) and to be punished, because I have done something so horrible, but I didn't have any other choice.
I... I... I BOUGHT A BOX OF "U BY KOTEX" TAMPONS.
I know, I know. I'm sobbing because I am so ashamed. Not really, but I am not proud of myself by any means.
For anyone lost as to why this is even a problem, read this. I rant about how awful the marketing is for this product and shit on their idea of cute packaging. No regrets, either.
I bought them for several reasons. The biggest one being that I'm going to be in clinical three times a week. I love my vagina and I love other people, but unless you're well and we're having sex... I don't want those two things to come together. If I wear my Divacup, I'll have to stick my fingers inside of myself multiple times a day after being in contact (I don't give a fuck if it's gloved) with multiple unwell bodies. No thank you.
So, I'm standing in the aisle of Wal Mart, looking at all the boxes of pinks, purples, and blues. I try to avoid eye contact of the woman next to me, because I mean... I'm already ashamed for even purchasing disposable menstrual protection (let alone a brand about which I had nothing but negative things to say), but who wants to have a conversation with a stranger while in the feminine hygiene aisle? I've always notice that women don't really talk. Maybe they're like me and they start scanning items from afar so they can knock the box into their cart while still walking.
I scope out the scene. I know I can't wear Tampax, because when they expand, they're too long. I can't wear Tampax Pearl because that stupid ass braided string thing irritates the fuck out of me. I can't wear Playtex because the packaging seems unreliable. I had several tampons come open while in my purse when I was in high school. I have to keep tampons in my scrub pockets and I need durable packaging because I dig in those fuckers for pens, my notepad, penlights, calculators and other various sundries multiple times a day. I can't wear pads because fuck that.
So... Kotex was right in front of me. They're small and... DAMMIT, THE PACKAGING IS CUTE. ::sobs:: They look like little fucking candies. Half of the tampons are pink and the other half are purple. Like little delicious ass taffies. The box is a lie. I couldn't resist. I shelled out seven whole dollars for a box of thirty six, but I hid the black box of shame under my body wash, apricot scrub, and mouthwash, making a mini fortress of menstrual solitude. I wasn't ready to face them.
I'm not on my period, so I haven't tried them yet. I'm mildly excited to try them. Maybe they're awesome and it makes up for the shitty marketing (which clearly fucking worked, considering I have a box in my bathroom right now).