Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Loved this! So funny and so right on :-)

You forgot... jump up and down naked to see if it feels as funny as it looks. :)

Ha ha I might try some of that :)  what I'd do if I had a vulva? have a 4 hour masturbation orgy for sure  :) and wear some nice clothes for a change.

Satirical genius VM I think I just developed a huge crush on your mind.

star16: Thank you! I knew this would either go in two directions: "Haha, that's moderately funny" or "MISANDRY!" All in fun with just the right pinch of seriousness.

Trock: See, I know how uncomfy is it to jump up of down with big boobs (without proper equipment), so I can't imagine that being extremely fun with a penis, haha.

Jake E: I would love for a male to write about ten things they would do with a vulva/vagina! And a four hour masturbation orgy? You're going to be raw and sore, lol. Have fun, though!

Liandra: Your comment MADE MY DAY! I totally updated Facebook about it and everything. :D God, that is better than someone telling me I'm beautiful or sexy. "I love the way you think" is the biggest compliment ever. Thank you!

You are a genius. Your post made me wonder what I would do if I had a penis and I couldn't get beyond, "Constantly adjust my package in my pants".

Hi,
I thought your post was quite clever but you left out writing you name in the snow. Thats one I can enjoy while still married. I have to ask myself what are the first ten things I'm going to do when I get MINE BACK?
Ball stamping, that's even better than tea bagging LOL
Mark

This bit is elementary school shtick -totally dumb.  That is why so many people like it.

but my 42 year old self saw a slighty deeper message in how males view females.
I still can't get beyond "Unsticking my left ball from my thigh all day." Just from watching other men constantly adjust their balls- I finally had to have hubby explain why grown men can't keep their hands off themselves in public. I am so glad I lack a scrotum. As far as using a penis for sex, well, my number of partners is somewhat limited but I've only had one who wasn't done after the first orgasm for at least an hour. I much prefer being multiorgasmic. Standing during urination does seem kinda cool, especially when I was younger and went to clubs.

What the fuck did you want (not that it would really matter)? An in-depth analysis (complete with charts) comparing and contrasting attitudes towards male and female genitalia? As interesting as *that* sounds, it's not my style of writing.

It was meant to be "sophomoric." Just for fun. Not everything has to be serious and mature all the time. Not your type of style? Fine. It's not very nice to call anyone's writing dumb. Makes you sound like an uptight asshole.

Did you see what I did there? Damn me and my sophomoric puns.

I have come to realize he is a troll OR suffering from
mental illness. At times I think we should just ignore him, but if he promotes
others to post and join the debate--that is always a good thing right?

I had a conversation with my 11 yr old son the other day...it was about my
right (and everyone’s) to not be verbally abused by him. Now if he can't
control himself when I am at home I can choose to walk away, but when I am
driving I am kind of stuck there.  I explained to him that from now on I
will pull over and he will have to get out until he is ready to re-enter the vehicle
and keep his mouth shut for the remainder of the car ride.

Here I choose to read soap's posts or not. More NOT. Then I choose to reply or
not. But I no longer give much thought in general to anything he says since it
is all over the map and mostly filled with negative energy.

 I ♥♥♥  this and don't know how I missed it!

I can't even pick just one! Your delivery is outstanding VMB and I felt
tingles when I read Liandra's post 'cause I knew instantly that must have
humbled you!

SUCH WONDERFUL ENERGY!

If I could list my fave post ever it is this entry!

Laughing and fun is at the top of my list, there
is plenty of time to be serious.

You're so sweet, Marias Chaos. You seriously just made my day. ::smooch:: Laughing is probably my favorite thing to do... Next to, you know, having orgasms and academic procrastination (and sometimes, both of those things are one and the same).

This one is your favorite? Well, sheesh. I blush. Thank you! I challenge you to pick through some other bloggers' entries, though. You're sure to have multiple favorites then.

VirginMonoblogger. Congratulations.  I see your lobotomy was successful.  I now understand the dynamics behind your balderdash.  Please pardon me for that.  I couldn't resist.  I was foolishly thinking this website was an elitist and sophisticated women's brain trust.  Once again a thousand pardons.  I thought you understood repartee unlike Ms. Chaotic.  Her cheating heart does tell on her.  Little girls never grow up do they? You women need to think about your integrety and character.

Ei Ei captain!
lol

Lol, I see she was right. Troll on!

Your lying eyes tell on both of you sexual repressed women.  Chaotic just makes up stories about her sexual sophistication and VMB doesn't have any.  That's ok you can learn.  You both need to read Nancy Friday's "Women on Top."

Of course if the penis you had was a small one you probably wouldn't do many of those things. You'd spend your life wondering why society and women in particular feel it acceptible to treat your endowment as nothing more than a joke.

That might be correct if the women in society that are in question lack humility and are indeed shortsighted slow-witted ass wipes. Owning to the "bell curve" so many of the poor wenches fit that description. In their defense it is not under their control as they are products of the inchoate progression of evolution that has (at this point) left them senseless.  They are trading only on their base sexuality without any further thought other than how many goods and services they can garner.  It is their cross to bear and bear it well they do.