Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I have officially become a woman who can no longer precisely pinpoint the onset of nearing menses. How completely inconvenient. In the past months, I've started bleeding at the very beginning of a 100 question anatomy test (complete with a two part discussion question).

I've started bleeding while standing in a long line of a grocery store. I've started bleeding in the car, when I realize I have nary a pad or tampon and toilet paper will be my savior once again.

I know it's due to stress. I have headaches, my scalp (yes, my scalp) is actually sore some days, and I have the joy of experiencing constipation and diarrhea, sometimes all in the same day! It's only to be expected that my hormonal cycles will follow. I've had sore boobs for over two weeks and the vaginal dryness isn't amusing me at all.

While I'm not menstruating, my friend in Texas is experiencing the same thing, but for different reasons.

Remember the night of drunken skinny dipping and ass smacking with Military Wife and another mutual friend? Well, that mutual friend is officially pregnant. That horny bitch didn't even make it to six months after the wedding.

She called last night (well, 1am this morning, rather) to ask when my last period was, because she normally starts a couple days before me. I've been all over the place, so I wasn't much help with that. When she realized that she was probably late, she took a pregnancy test and there was a faint pink second line. Well, four positive at-home tests and an official blood test later, pregnancy is confirmed. She's happy, so I'm happy.

I definitely would have waited until I was more stable with living arrangements (she's a military wife, too), saved some money, and made a million plans. But, life doesn't always go with a plan and I wish them the best, because having a baby, no matter how young you are, is serious business.

It really blows my mind to think that someone I've known since we were 13 is actually about to be a mom. She was telling me how she already loves her baby (I have told myself that it's a girl and I refuse to be convinced otherwise) and she's only four weeks along. It's crazy to think how much everyone is growing up. MW plans to start trying for a baby soon, too. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy and maternal. Not maternal enough to have a baby, but maternal enough to want to cuddle theirs.

Fun fact: I just started my period. The news of the pregnancy has shocked my uterus into submission.