Home » Blogs » VirginMonoblogger's blog

Our Assistant Director Walked In & Asked Why He Was Holding a Doll

Sat, 06/05/2010 - 10:19
Submitted by VirginMonoblogger

So, it's no secret that I don't like children at all. I mean, I'm just not a kid person. I wish I would have realized that before I took a job where I worked with them, but it was a learning experience.

We all know that you're never supposed to pick favorites when it comes to kids. We also all know that you ALWAYS have a favorite. My favorite? The Kid.

He was a really quiet kid and really small. He was actually older than most of my class, but the smallest, even in comparison to the girls. He had a quiet and high little voice and always played by himself. One day, during play time, I noticed that he was playing with dolls. He wasn't taking them from anyone and or doing anything "inappropriate", so I didn't see a problem with it. Then, our assistant director walked in and asked why he was holding a doll. I... didn't really have a response for him. I just said "Well, he likes them, so why should I take them away?" to which he responded "Because he's a BOY!" So, he walked over, took the doll from The Kid, gave him a truck, and walked out. So, as soon as the door closed, I gave him the doll back and he carried on playing like nothing happened.

The next day, during snack time, The Kid sat with his legs crossed. Kids started making fun of him, saying he was sitting like a girl. I even heard the word "gay" come out of a few mouths. I didn't even know what gay WAS when I was six. Anyway, I jumped to his defense quickly, and said that he could sit how he wanted. I threatened to take away outside time (which I couldn't legally do, but they didn't know that) and that got them quiet. It was almost like I felt personally offended for him.

Later that year, we had a little party. There was music and such, and all the kids were dancing. The Kid had his hand on his hips and was full on runway walking. It was fabulous.

In the South, going contrary to your gender role isn't... Widely accepted, to say the least. I mean, when I got kissing a girl at eight years old and told I was going to hell, there was no chance I would act on "homosexual" feelings ever again. I refused to let The Kid feel that way. I remembered when my high school best friend came out when we were in tenth grade. Guys would cover their butts whenever they would see them in the hallway. It hurt him and pissed me the fuck off. I silently wished death upon them and their idiocy eventually passed, but I still hate that it ever happened in the first place. No one deserves to be mistreated for something to sexual preference or their chosen gender role.

By the end of the year, the kids learned to accept The Kid for who he was. The girls took him in and he played dress up with them and everything. I loved that he didn't start acting differently just to fit in. I'm not saying he'll grow up to be this flaming gay guy. I can't look into the future. But, I hope I can find him in a few years to see what type of person he grew up to be.

The Kid has a special place in my heart. Owning who you really are, at any age, isn't always easy. He did it at six. Powerful.

Thought all virgins were the same? Think again.
http://thevirginmonoblog1.blogspot.com/

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Ahh the South.. The place

Sat, 06/05/2010 - 16:24
T (not verified)

Ahh the South.. The place where I was forcibly yanked out of the women's restroom at a bar because I had a shaved head and was wearing a leather jacket. The lady who did that shut right the fuck up after I lifted my shirt and showed her my tits. Thank you for being that boy's advocate!

When talking about young

Sun, 06/06/2010 - 04:25
LaurenM (not verified)

When talking about young children, it's important to be careful not to project our adult ideas about sexuality onto them. Obviously, your supervisor should not have become alarmed at the child playing with a doll, and I find it astonishing that he wouldn't respect that child's interests. If you work at an NAEYC accredited school, you should start a record of these occurrences and send a letter to the organization.

Young children often emulate the characteristics of people they love (mom feeding a baby brother, for example), and these don't have the same gender role associations for children that they do adults. What I'm saying is, it's not fair to label this child "gay" because he walks with his hand on his hip or plays with dolls.

sensitive children

Sun, 06/06/2010 - 11:58
SarahKaeli (not verified)

I am a natural mother. My son is four years old and my daughter is 18 mo. now. I have been following mothering.com and I also collect their magazine. I have read and been told by my midwives that is crucial to have little boys play with dolls and have a sensitive side. My son likes to carry his stuffed animals in a sling wrapped around him. I breastfed both of my children until they were 15 months old and have practiced attachment parenting. I would be very upset if my son was exposed to this type of judgment from his classmates. I am so glad the teacher stood up for the little boy and I agree with LaurenM, but I would also think the most important thing to do is talk to the boys parents about what the asst. director did.

http://www.mothering.com/parenting/real-boys-play-dolls

Thank you for this post, I feel it is a very important one. :)

Same boat

Sun, 06/06/2010 - 18:43
Cristina G. (not verified)

My little godsons/cousins, 5 and 4, have the same problem with their dad. Their dad can't see them playing kitchen, dolls or twirling around a towel (mimicking a kid's video of girls dancing) because he's scared they'll become effeminate or become homosexual. It just pisses me off whenever he takes away a toy or criticizes them for it. I counter that influence with my own example. The other day they asked me if I wanted a bike and I said yup. The other one asked me if I wanted it with princesses and I said "nope, I want it blue like yours! Why would I want princesses?" And he said "Because... you're a girl..." lol and I said "but I like blue, I don't want princesses" at which he kind of thought it over then we kept playing.

Kids don't know about race, gender roles, or that sort of thing. They know what they want to play with, who, how. Its a time to explore and not worry. It doesn't determine nor harm kids if they play with dolls.

I'm relieved that there are teachers like this. Keep up the good work! :) You'll probably be that teacher he remembers for the rest of his life.

Good for you. Gender roles

Joelface's picture
Thu, 06/10/2010 - 04:05
Joelface

Good for you. Gender roles are bullshit!

I'm proud to say that growing up, my favorite color was Hot Pink. My mom is always proud when she mentions that she didn't tell me I shouldn't like that color.

hell, I still think hot pink is a nice looking color. :p Not for clothes I wear, or anything, but I still like it. :p

-------------------------------------

24 - M - Critical Relativist and Feminist (Equalist) - Canada

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.