My First Blow Job

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 14:13
Submitted by VirginMonoblogger

Yesterday, me and my two friends (MW being one of them) rented a motel room for a sleepover. We wanted to drink and be as loud as we wanted, and my parents sure as fuck wouldn't have been accommodating to such activities. Me not being a super lover of alcohol and having the amazing ability to get piss drunk within an hour, I paced myself and stopped when I started to feel the buzz. I was still coherent, able to form complete sentences/walk/etc., and I was just myself, only calmer.

It was the classic sleepover with three twenty year olds. We covered all conversational bases, and of course, sex was the main topic of interest. Out of the three of us, I am (was?) the only virgin in the group, even though I'm pretty sure that I can say I'm the most sexual. I don't know what it is about a bunch of girls with alcohol in their system, but MW was super horny, our other friend was, too, and called her fiance to come over and fuck her (I kid you not), and I was just sitting there, not really feeling much more sexual than normal.

Almost like it was planned, I was texted by one of my good guy friends and I gave him our room number and invited him over.

About a dozen text messages later, he was there. I was in snowman pajama bottoms and a t shirt, so I wasn't exactly the personification of lust. He sipped the shitty girly drink I so expertly mixed him (and served with a crazy straw) and made conversation with everybody. We went outside to talk and I ended having my very first (ever) kiss. I loved that he was gentle, and I don't know if it was the bit of alcohol I had or the fact that I'm older, but I wasn't nervous or uncomfortable. It was so natural and absolutely wonderful. His lips were soft and everything. Gentle kisses turned into gropping and rubbing, and dirty words being exchanged. I don't know if he had such a massive erection before he got there or what, but I could feel it rubbing my mound through both of our pants.

Anyway, I don't really know how to segue into what happened next. It was almost like an out-of-body experience. We went from kissing and touching, to me with my head between his legs, giving him (unprotected) oral sex. Thinking back, I suppose I should have asked that he used a condom, but I trust him, and I'm almost positive that oral sex isn't nearly as enjoyable (for both parties involved) when a condom is involved. There was one point when I literally pushed him down into a chair, got on my knees, and I said "Take off your pants." WHO WAS THAT PERSON?! It was like the inner sexual me finally busted through and took charge.

I didn't expect my first blowjob to go this way. It was fan-fucking-tastic. He didn't push my head down and take over. I'd like to think that he trusted me to do what I thought he wanted. He moaned and gasped (which was really a turn on), and said things that made it more enjoyable for me. He didn't pressure me (though he definitely suggested) to go further or do anything I was uncomfortable with.

I stopped, though, much to his frustration. I wasn't trying to be coy or a tease, I just knew things were getting to the point of me waking up this morning and me saying "Why the FUCK did I do that?" Things were going to progress to full on penetrative sex, and I'm just not ready for that, besides the fact that I'm ovulating. So, I didn't get to experience my "semen in the mouth" fantasy.

So, final thoughts? Surprisingly? Not a single regret. I'm happy I wasn't drunk and I still had control of the situation. I must say that, by MY standards, I'm still a virgin. I know, I know. Most would say that, after a dick has been in your mouth, your virginity is long gone. But, until I have actual sex, I feel that I still fall into that virginal category, partly because it blows my mind to think I lost my virginity at 20, to a guy I'm nowhere near emotionally attached to. That's pretty tacky, I suppose... Maybe I'll have another sexual epiphany and realize that I'm completely kidding myself and my virginity is long gone.

On a moralistic front... I still can't seem to make myself regret what I did. Should I? I don't think so. It's something I wanted, something he wanted, and something we both enjoyed. I wish it would have lasted longer, and maybe in the future we can take things a little further. But, for now, I'm satisfied with my sexual status.

What a night.

Thought all virgins were the same? Think again.

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Should you regret it? Girl,

Christina Cicchelli's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 14:41

Should you regret it? Girl, you gave a blow job - you didn't break a law. You had fun for your first time and if you enjoyed yourself then what is there to regret?

And why would you make yourself regret it, is what I'm most curious about.

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.afantasticnightmare.com

Congratulations!

WildOrchid's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 14:59

Hope my first oral sex will be as enjoyable! You should feel proud - you did what you wanted, took what you needed! You were assertive even under influence.

I would be weary of the no protection aspect - there is a low risk of HIV transmission plus oral gonorrhoea, syphilis etc. But since I'm probably gonna do the same with a girl in the future - nobody is using dental dams in my country - I have no right to judge ;)

I saw a new dermatologist today. When she was prescribing me antibiotics she said that you can't take them while pregnant. I answered that I see no possibility of me being pregnant with that thing on my face she's giving me antibiotics for. But from what she said in 3 weeks I will be presentable!

I don't know. I guess it's

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 15:12

I don't know. I guess it's been so natural for me to feel guilty about doing "naughty things" that feeling absolutely fine about giving my first blowjob almost feels abnormal to me. It's so trippy and bizarre that I shared a sexual experience with someone and I don't feel horribly about it.

First things first....I'm

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 18:46

First things first....I'm glad you enjoyed the experience.  I happen
to love sucking my lovers cock, giving head, and waching their response
is exqusit.

NOW, you bring up an intrsting question, and that is
"what is sex?"   There was an article on this site a while back, and
some heated dissicussion on a kinky forum I belong to, and many would
sumise that oral sex *is* sex.

Well all in all I'm
thrilled you had a good experience (but don't be ignorant about risk.
Period)

Below is a blip copied from a sexual health site.

**It’s hard for researchers to determine how risky oral sex is, since

most people who engage in oral sex also engage in other sexual
behaviors, making it impossible to know the way that an STD was
transmitted.

That said, there are a variety of STDs that can be transmitted
during oral sex (including herpes and HPV) and it’s probably worth
learning more about the STD
risks of oral sex
so you can decide what level of protection you’re
going to use.

assessing
your risk
and then making informed choices about the risks you are willing to take.**

I'm surely NOT ignorant

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 19:06

I'm surely NOT ignorant about risk. As I said, I trust him. We've had conversations about his (and my) sexual health, and I'm sure it *is* still possible to have sex with someone who doesn't have an STI. True, why risk it? He could be lying and carrying every disease known to man.

Virgnitity, to me, is subjective and all about what you define it as. If you consider a penis entering any bodily orifice as a loss of virginity, then that's fine. I suppose I've lost my mouth virginity.

I didn't mean to offend

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 19:51

I didn't mean to offend you.
I merely pointed out that you brought up an interesting topic of "what sex is", and that there are some who consider oral sex sex.  It was an open invitation for discussion, not an indictment of your virginal status.
If the word "ignorance" was what bothered you, I apologize, because I was not trying to be combative. I will point out that the majority of sexually active people are unaware of how HPV can be transmitted.  With HPV,  men  are asymptomatic, plus there isn't a test for them. Therefore, even if they did have HPV they would not know. That's my point.   It's mostly a benign STI, but in some cases it can lead to cervical cancer, and this s something that ouches VERY close to home because two of my friends who are under forty have had their cervix removed because of cancerous cells.  

My intent was not to poo poo on your parade   , in fact I'm glad you had a good time. Hey, I'm all for some good cock sucking.

congratulations...

BellaFigura's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 19:58

Congratulations on a postive sexual experience...mazel tov!!

oh god..but I don't want to

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 20:08

oh god..but I don't want to be that fire and birmstone person....

Im glad you had suck (I mean such) wonderful experience :-)

Sucking dick

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 20:43

I am not sure what it is about sucking dicks....the feminist (and newly separated) woman in me says 'subservient' - 'just trying to please'....but the sexual person in me loves to make the man feel good and I just like the way it feels in my mouth.
Now if I could just find that man who likes to spend the same amount of detailed attention down there on me....getting there....
In the meantime, enjoy your new found experiences! (and don't bother trying to label it - just puts the kabash on the feeling!)

MY GOD, is she going to lose her virginity in a big sex orgy?

ChrisOnline's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 20:56

When you called your guy fiend to a motel filled with your girlfriends, with one of them already hot to get it on with her man, I thought: MY GOD is she going to lose her virginity in a
big group sex orgy? Betty will be so proud. hehe.

Jeeze VBM, my girl friends and I didn’t even discuss blow-jobs
when I was 20. That was 1989. Not sure if I was sheltered, or if that was pretty
typical for the time. Anyhow, here are my thoughts on your dilemma surrounding penetrative
sex:

Like you, I do believe in the Christian God, but over time I have thrown
out some dogma that I cannot rationally justify as making me more Christ like. Ideas that don’t feed my soul, or my community, but only serve other folks dogma. I believe our actions determine how Christian we are, not which set of dogma we subscribe to. Why would a moral,
rational person who generally strives to make a positive impact, judge you a
sinner because you masturbate, an act that brings you happiness, and sometimes physical
relief from pain and has zero impact on others.

I say, to hell with the dogmatists. I think, based on your
actions, you have already decided that masturbation is not a sinful act.

So then the question is, how is touching and exploring another
person in a sexual way so much different then masturbation? I have no idea how
someone could argue that. Sexual touching done to manipulate a person, to satisfy
a desire without regard to the other person’s well being, that’s the sin.

In my opinion, a young women "giving" her virginity to a man to seal the deal, or just fit in, that's also not a sin, just a shame.

So if sensual touch leading to mutual physical pleasure is not a
sin, and can’t get you pregnant, then there is no issue. Unless one believes that married people have exclusive rights from God to experience physical pleasure.

While penetrative sex carries a pregnancy risk that I think you
are smart not rush into, all the other stuff, enjoyed between consenting people,
is just pleasurable. Plan and simple. And yes, getting more sensual than a back
scratch can lead to throwing caution to the wind and “going all the way” as the
brain becomes muddled. But if you go into it with a specific intention, a
specific sex act on the menu, not including penetrative sex, self control is
possible. You’ve proven that to yourself on the motel terrace.

Based on the fact that you didn’t say your guy was pissed at
you for stopping the blow-job, I’d say he has respect for you. Why
not make a pleasure pact with him?
Agree to a list of experiences that
you want to try out together. There are tons of possibilities. Agree to be open and communicative about what you each
like. Agree to search out expertise on the stuff you want to try. Agree to be discreet
and not divulge all your missteps to others, so you and your partner can have
the safe space (trust) that’s needed to approach new skills that take time to
perfect.

Then…use you creative writing / observation gift from God to
blog as VMB on your experiences so you can have a positive impact on your peers’ approach to their sex lives. Coming from you, a contemporary, it will have so much more impact.

I'm also glad that you

Palesa's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 21:31

I'm also glad that you enjoyed what sounds like your first partner sex experience. It also sounds like the person you picked was appropriate for you at least at that particular time and place. Keep in mind that alcohol, even in small amounts, lowers the safety of partnered sexual activity.

Call me an old fart if you like, but there are many things that can only be learned through life experience. Experiences that people like Miss. Chief have had that can be helpful to you. Don't allow your ego to get in the way of learning about and how to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. Believe me, no one wants to think about STDs much less talk about them, which is one reason why the MAJORITY of sexually active people will end up with an STD. No one intends to get a disease. HPV is like a cold when it comes to sexually transmitted diseases. Have you ever gotten a cold from someone who you trusted and found to be knowledgeable about health issues? Parents transmit pathogens to their children and it has nothing to do with trust or love or knowledge or ignorance. It has to do with the simple fact that a virus' only desire is to find a host, hijack that host's body cells and make more and more virus copies. Unless you have a bionic eye you cannot see a virus. And most other types of STDs are NOT obvious, especially at the onset. While your partner's perceived health and health knowledge is obviously important, you cannot depend on that as a guide to your sexual safety. Even medical tests have margins of error.

Learning from others, especially elders, is a beautiful and valuable thing. Just imagine this website run by a 15 year old instead of an 80 year old. It would be shit-taaay!

Be grateful that you have people that care about your health. Humility is not a bad thing when it comes to taking care of your sexual health. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. Enjoy ALL the realities of sex. 

Sincerely,

An old fart, fuddy duddy, fire and brimstoning pain in the ass. Laughing

___________


Don't be afraid of yourself, live your individuality to the full ---
but
for the good of others. Don't copy others in order to buy fellowship,
or make convention your law. ~ Dag Hammarskjold (Markings, 1963)

Starting from the bottom up

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 22:09

ChrisOnline: MW is married, and would never "stray", and the other girl that was there is getting married in less than two weeks, so she wasn't going to do anything either. No one was off-their-ass drunk, so good decisions were still able to be made. Besides that, I wouldn't ever let them do something like that to their husbands. Well, I would do my best to stop them, even if I STILL think marriage is totally crazy, because I know they pride themselves on being faithful.

I've always been taught that sex is procreation and THEN pleasure. You're supposed to "become one" with your husband, be fruitful and multiply. It should be this incredibly emotional connection. Yeah, that I guess that's super awesome, and I can only imagine my parents' reaction if they knew what happened, BUT my sexual desire is stronger and apparent than my romantic one.

He was incredibly respectful; he said more than once "I'm not doing anything you don't want to do. I'm just going to let you do what you want". I love that he leaned out to kiss me before anything sexual really went down. I loved that, when I wanted to stop (which, how fucking EVIL was that?), he didn't beg or yell or make me feel horribly about it. He was the perfect partner for me to have my very first experience with.

I think the pleasure pact is a fantastic idea. You always have the kindest (and most logical) things to say. <3

Smarie: He definitely wanted to perform on me, too. Fingers were trying to find their way into my pants, and he has some random obssession with sucking my nipples, since my boobs are big. I didn't let him. I'm still holding on to some inhibitions, I think. I don't really think of oral sex as subservient, because hearing him moan and gasp was getting me off, too. Knowing my mouth was what was making him experience pleasure turned me on... If that made sense.

Miss.Chief: ::smooches:: No offense was taken, but I did sound incredibly defensive. No hurt feelings.

BellaFigura: Thank you! I look forward to future experiences.

I am so glad you enjoyed

Wed, 05/26/2010 - 22:11
girlfriday (not verified)

I am so glad you enjoyed your first adventure in partner sex!! It made me think back, fondly, to my early experiences.

I agree that it is a great idea to toss all labels, and enjoy the journey. I would be very upset if I logged on tomorrow and saw your blog re-named "TechnicalVirginMonoblogger." :)

RE: Palesa

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Wed, 05/26/2010 - 22:46

So... with that logic... I shouldn't partake in anything sexual with anyone, because maybe  they could be a carrier, even if they don't know it?

I mean, I completely understand what you're saying, but I don't see an issue with what I did. Should I NOT fuck anyone until I have a full list of all medical testing they've undergone in the past six months? My ego wasn't getting in the way of anything. I simply stating that it's not guaranteed I will get an STI just because I'm partaking in sexual activities. I don't have my blinders on and I still realize the risk.

Condoms will be used in the future, even if it's simply because I'm now incredibly paranoid.

There is always mutual

Thu, 05/27/2010 - 01:01

There is always mutual masturbation :-).  Watching another person pleasure themselves is very sexy.  Theres the option of using toys.  Manual stimulation works well with gloves and a crap load of lube. Then theres good old of oral, vaginal and anal condom sex....phone sex as well as and cyber sex is pretty hot (did you read Eric's last entry?)

My point is that there are quite a few things we can do to express ourselves sexually with a partner (or partners) that do not include fluid exchange, thus reducing risk.   

Spanking is always fun ::wink::Laughing

this whole exchange reminds

Thu, 05/27/2010 - 07:45

this whole exchange reminds me of a visit I had to Planned Parenthood for my annual check up as a married woman. As the doctor (who was 8 months pregnant) was taking my history, she asked whether I had unprotected sex with my partner. I replied, "yes". Then she started lecturing me on how I can get stds even if I'm married.

I looked right at her big belly and said, "well, you've had unprotected sex with your husband" and walked out of the room.

Ideally, every sexual interaction would be bathed in latex but that's not reality. There is something to vetting the people you choose to interact with that goes along way.

You should be very flattered, virgin, you have so many women who care about you and are rooting for you. Think of them as your doting aunts.

"I see my body as an instrument, rather than an ornament." - Alanis Morissette

Miss. Chief is giving you

Palesa's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 09:52

Miss. Chief is giving you beautiful and loving advice.

Carlin is right.

Your reaction to my comments is quite natural.

If we are aunties, than I am the one you will not confide in because I am overly cautious and completely uncool. I will be fine with that if just one thing my no fun ass has said helps to keep you safe and happy. Fully enjoy your sex life and all the changes that are happening and will happen.

Sincerely,

The No  Fun Doting Auntie (but with the best music collection). Wink

______________

Don't be afraid of yourself, live your individuality to the full ---
but
for the good of others. Don't copy others in order to buy fellowship,
or make convention your law. ~ Dag Hammarskjold (Markings, 1963)

Intelligent

tom.penry's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:22

I really like this comment in the discussion

Carlin just guaranteed Cajun Man's Ultimate Fantasy..

ChrisOnline's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 10:33

...a whole website fully of bossy Aunties!

I want to be the Auntie that bosses you around and gives you advice that I would never have taken at 20, therefor reliving/redoing my 20s through your experiences.

Me in my best Dom voice: "Are you working on your list of pleasure to dos yet? Make sure they are in oder of difficulty, easiest first, not necessary in hotness order. All the f*ck'n numbers better line up, or I will punish your a**."

P.S. In my old age, I'm trying to make more decisions from a rational list of risks and rewards, working hard to avoid making life decisions from a place of fear. I see you are well on your way :)

I want to be the auntie

Christina Cicchelli's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 11:25

I want to be the auntie who's not around but you always hear she's up to no good. Then when I do come around for some outing I'm late for some reason or another and not really sober. I talk to no one but I offer you a joint because I really don't like talking in big groups. And I ask you how you feel about your life. And you confide in me because no one else really likes me to begin with. I'll tell you that tonight, that night, I'm hitching on a train to some hippie commune and you can come with me. You can start your life over as a runaway, and you'll join me on this unforeseen adventures towards some fiery new dawn. And I'll be waiting by the tracks at midnight, so you can't be late.

Should you choose not to come, well then you'll always wonder (commonly). But, if you do choose, you'll leave a note for your mother and pack a bag. You'll meet me in the dark and we'll board a train. And we'll get off somewhere which I have no idea. We'll stay at a motel because I know the owner. But we will continue to travel. We will continue to go through successes and hardships. And I'll train you to become a prostitute, so you can benefit from your travels. I may teach you to how to use weapons and manipulate for food and personal gain. And eventually you'll grow to hate me for what I've turned you into; but secretly I will be proud at how much stronger you have become. I would have hoped to shape you into a whole person, one who knows true virtue and true humanity.

At least this is how i've written it.

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.afantasticnightmare.com

Very good discussion!

Thu, 05/27/2010 - 11:37

See the discussion you spawned by sharing an intimate moment! All good and caring points. Everybody here is just wanting the very best and healthiest of choices for you!

By the way, congrats on your positive experience. As far as the "Semen in the mouth" fantasy, well, that will happen when the time is right and you know your partner is not carrying any gifts that keep on giving! (by the way, you may not be "THAT" thrilled with it the first time or two, or three, or four,...........) Kind of an aquired taste sort of thing for most women.

I hope you have many more positive experiences!

As I said...

WildOrchid's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 14:36

... not judging. But there is always some risk. But there is some risk in crossing the street even when the light is green ;) But everybody knows about this risk. I don't know how comprehensive your sex-ed was. I wrote that just to be safe.

If you decide to be sexual you agree to some risks - you choose how small or big the risks you take. You are no longer in your safe solo-sex bubble - you've stepped into an adult individual path. There are so many beautiful experiences waiting for you - there are also some ugly ones. It's life. Negotiating condoms and getting regularly tested are part of a path you've stepped on.

Awww

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Thu, 05/27/2010 - 16:20

I really do appreciate everything everyone has said and I have the warm fuzzies. I especially loved Christina's short story about how I'll eventually become a prostitute, lol. I do realize that, choosing to become sexually active (whoa... never thought that phrase would be applying to me so soon), there are various risks that I need to be aware of and make an effort to avoid.

Love y'all!

I'm extremely jealous

Hotchocolate's picture
Sat, 05/29/2010 - 00:59

I think that's all there is to say. :)

I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.

You seem so fearless! I'm

Sat, 05/29/2010 - 02:16
Noni (not verified)

You seem so fearless! I'm really happy for you. It was your first kiss as well? Wow :) That's a lot in one night!

I'm about the same age as you, virgin and all that... the problem for me stems from a history of shyness which I'm getting over and hyper self-consciousness. I haven't read all your posts so I don't really know your reasons, but it sounds like you're just waiting for the right person? Not sure... but that is my reason.

I also give a very nice-girl, goody-goody impression to most people, even guys who are interested in me. Actually deep down, in my fantasies, I am very assertive sexually. I just don't know if I'll ever see that part of myself come to life. Sounds like you are though, hehe.

Thanks for sharing.

HA! HA!

Sun, 09/12/2010 - 23:47
Anonymous7874596 (not verified)

Do you really think you are not a virgin anymore? PO-ah-lease! You may be a vaginal virgin but your mind and self being is not, so you really think a few blood drops would consider you a virgin? I'm sorry, but you have it all wrong... Would you consider a raped woman a virgin? She didn't want to lose it and she she didn't enjoy, but her being is still a virgin. Yet you enjoyed intercourse one way or another, a penis was inserted into something, just like a dildo may be insert into your vagina taking away your virginity... you are just lying to yourself, you are an everyday type of whore, but don't call me one... you make me sick!!!

Yesss!

VirginMonoblogger's picture
Mon, 09/13/2010 - 12:04

I'm an everyday "type of whore"? Oh my God, REALLY? That is so exciting to me.

Your comment probably made my day. Thank you.

great story

Tue, 10/26/2010 - 12:59
Edward P (not verified)

I wasnt real into the discussion but your story gave me a raging hard on. Especially the part about your cum in the mouth fantasy. lol good luck and yes you are still a virgin until you get your pussy fucked.

You are not a virgin. Get off

Sun, 12/05/2010 - 04:53
Carlaccc (not verified)

You are not a virgin. Get off your high horse. You're probably a "virgin" with STI's.

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