So I Gave the Patented "Clean a Cucumber and Put a Condom on it" Response

Wed, 04/14/2010 - 08:59
Submitted by Anonymous

I work for an internet company that gives answers to customers who text in questions. Though I don't get paid excessively, it keeps gas in my car and I've learned quite a bit.

I got a question today that asked me "If you're a virgin, what household items can you use to give you a good orgasm." I was happy that this person was at least asking before breaking out the cellphone and putting it on vibrate, like yours truly did years ago. I was going to respond with something about clitoral stimulation, but then I remembered what happened to me today, so I gave the patented "clean a cucumber and put a condom on it" response. Why?

I had my very first penetration/clitoral stimulation orgasm today. I was genuinely surprised. I don't like change, really. I don't switch up my masturbation habits or routine, but my pussy ached for something inside of it today. So, naturally, I inserted a finger. It was okay, but not what I wanted. Then, I remembered the vibrator that I have that's broken. It's phallic-shaped (veins and all), but I never used it for penetration. I would just rub it on my clit until I came. It hasn't been used in at least a year, but I keep it around, since... Well, I could wrap it up and throw it away, but I figured it was like that random button that doesn't go to anything, but you keep it anyway. You know as soon as you throw it away, you'll find a use for it.

I took it out of my drawer, cleaned it, and got back into bed. I started the WD again and got back to the point of getting close to orgasm-but not being able to actually come- and inserted it. I think it went in about half an inch before I was gasping with an intense orgasm. My vagina was contraction so hard, I could feel the dildo actually rhythmically moving in my hand. It was so amazing. I've had the desire to insert something into my pussy before, but I just chalked that up to the fantasy that I was having.

It makes me wonder if I've been missing out on these delicious orgasms because I dislike(d) penetration so much. I didn't push it all the way in (though I didn't really get a chance to), but it was thoroughly enjoyable. I doubt it will become a routine way for me to get off... But, I guess I can finally say that penetration isn't so bad. It can actually be, dare I say, pleasurable? Now, when I envision Glenn fucking me with a strap-on, I can actually enjoy the physical sensations inside of my pussy, too.