I Asked My Mom if I Ever Touched Myself When I Was a Kid

Wed, 04/28/2010 - 14:39
Submitted by Anonymous

I don't really remember masturbating at home when I was a kid (younger than eleven years old). I mean, when I was in preschool/kindergarten, I would touch my pussy until I fell asleep at nap time, but there was no (regular) extended hardcore hand-in-panties exploration. I don't think the teachers ever noticed, because I would sleep on my stomach and tuck one or both hands underneath myself and press on my mound. Hm... Thinking back, what I was doing was probably extremely obvious. Damn.

Anyway, I asked my mom some months ago (when I was still super high off of this sexual reevaluation/revolution) if she ever noticed that I touched myself when I was a kid, to which she responded "No." I asked her if she would have stopped me if she had, and she actually said no. I was slightly surprised, because she's so into cleanliness. I then asked her why she wouldn't have stopped me, and she simply responded "There's no reason to. It's natural." Right on, Mom! I was proud that she's at least solo-sex positive, even if she isn't partner-sex positive, because that's more than can be said for numerous other families.

I have a friend who has a three year old (two at the time). She lets him play in the bath for a while before washing him. She had gone to get something from her room and came back to find him touching his genitals in the tub. She said "Oh... Um... I'll let you have your man time." It was so cute, because she seemed way more embarrassed than he was, but she didn't really let on and just let him explore and discover things about his body. I thought that was absolutely wonderful.

I read a Solotouch story a while ago about a girl who was extremely close to her mom. It was just the two of them, so they had the quintessential "best friend mother-daughter relationship". They routinely watched movies on Friday night. They would be under a blanket on the couch and her mom would start masturbating her, eventually bringing her to orgasm. I was shocked (and almost appalled) that a mother was sexually stimulating her daughter. Then, I realized... That's pretty powerful. A mom teaching her daughter, first hand, how to sexually satisfy herself. Though I can't relate and I couldn't (and wouldn't) imagine ever experiencing that with my mom, it's extremely amazing to read about someone who did.

It always makes me sad to hear people say that their parents would tell them that touching themselves was unacceptable. Masturbation is so near and dear to my virginal heart. It keeps me happy, mellow, balanced and it likely keeps me sane. I couldn't imagine making a person feel inferior for pleasuring themselves. When did it become taboo to get off? How is it that society seems so comfortable and accepting of having (unprotected) sex, but masturbation seems to be this shameful sex secret? I hate that we're passing it on to the kids, perpetuating this bullshit idea that self love is wrong. I fully believe that every sexual education class should teach masturbation as an alternative to sex. Sure is a hell of a lot better than just teaching abstinence.

I wasn't a "proud" masturbator until the middle of high school. I didn't realize that A LOT of people did it, too. Some people believe that masturbation is a pathetic last resort for people who can't get actual penetrative sex. One of my friends even said it was "gross". I was ashamed, because, though I didn't see anything wrong with it, I didn't want her to think of me as nasty or weird. Now, I don't give a fuck what she thinks. It's too tiring to try to please anyone besides myself. My orgasms are too good to give up just to stick to the nonsensical idea that you should only achieve sexual yumminess with a partner.

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I have been masturbating

Wed, 04/28/2010 - 21:07

I have been masturbating ever since i can remember.. around 4 or 5 years old. I remember my mom telling me not to touch myself like that as it was "wrong", but I did it anyways. I just couldn't help myself! I've never talked to her about it (we've never even really talked about sex except after her finding out I was sexually active she put me on the pill) but I'm kind of disappointed that she ever made me feel like it was a wrong thing to do to begin with. I only hope I can be more sex positive with my children if I ever have any.

I don't ever remember my

Wed, 04/28/2010 - 22:56
Lisa M (not verified)

I don't ever remember my parents telling me touching myself was wrong as a kid or if I ever did it as a kid. I remember while I was a younger teenager (I'm 19), I viewed masturbation as wrong for religious reasons. I was convinced it was evil and I needed to be "pure" when I was married. I wasn't going to have my first kiss until I was married, yeah, I was that sexually repressed. Once I got over the religious bullshit (ironically I study religion, go figure) I finally let myself masturbate and orgasm. It pains me that we do live in such a sexually repressed culture where sex is viewed as bad/nasty. If that wasn't the message I was getting, I'm sure I would have been an orgasmic teenager who was not in the closet (I'm pansexual but I use the term lesbian for political reasons and i'd rather have sex with a woman).

Thank god for sex positive parents.

Thu, 04/29/2010 - 17:13
beeftown (not verified)

I can clearly remember starting to masturbate around the age of four. I called it "rocking" and just thought it was the greatest thing, and luckily my parents never discouraged me from doing it, except when we were in public. I would just hop on the sofa in my play room and have take some time to myself to "rock". I just wish all children were given the opportunity to explore themselves without fear of punishment or shaming.


Hotchocolate's picture
Sat, 05/01/2010 - 04:49

Haha my friend told me a few day ago about the masturbation talk she had with her mom, who by the way was a sex therapist. So my friend maybe about 7 years old was wiggling around in the front seat of the car one day, and her mother says to her "what are you doing" she goes "nothing" then her mother goes "are you making yourself feel good" and she goes "maybe". "It's all right to make yourself feel good but it's better when you do it in private" says the mom. Then one day her father walks in on my friend, when she's still 7, in her room, then my friend told him he had to leave because she needed her private time. Haha I was cracking up through the entire story.

For me I was mostly ashamed after I pleased myself up until college when I realized I didn't care. When I was little I would get caught sometimes and was told to stop it. I must have gotten other lectures too because I always felt that God was watching an would punish me later, even though I not really religious. Thank god I got over that I feel much better now and not guilty at all.

Come to think of it I don't think my parents exactly discourage it, because my sister did the same thing when she was young, hump her teddy bears, and my brother also, hump his blanket. And my mother has told me about both incidences and now she just teases my brother about it, which could discourage it but I dunno because she's not teasing in a mean way but she lets him know she knows.

I'm gonna go microwave a bagel and have sex with it.


Sun, 05/02/2010 - 20:22
Marisa Black

You wrote: "I hate that we're passing it on to the kids, perpetuating this bullshit
idea that self love is wrong."

Right on. When I was in high school, Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders was criticized - and arguably ousted - for promoting masturbation as a reasonable alternative for sexual expression.

I feel so sad about the messages of shame, privacy, or taboo related to masturbation. Maybe it will soon be time to write about my own journey into accepting masturbation as a fantastic expression of my sexuality.



My mom got me a rabbit

Thu, 07/08/2010 - 00:46
jenie (not verified)

My mom got me a rabbit vibrator when i was 13, because i used an electric toothbrush and she caught me. She started saying it was unclean, unsafe, and gross. I think i cried i was so humiliated. Then she said it was perfectly acceptable to use real sex toys or your hands, only a _TOOTHBRUSH_ was gross. I peeped up and said i didnt use it my mouth. She looked at me funny and said I'd like a real toy much better anyway. She was right! Im 15 now, and that made me realize how open i could be with my mom and how i could trust her.