Lube It Up, Baby!

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 10:36
Submitted by Anonymous

I have been thinking a lot about lube lately because I want to buy this Sliquid Organics Natural Lube in the near future. When I'm on my period and using my DivaCup, I'm super "parched" down there, and since I've grown my hair back... WHOA! Epiphany. My vagina has been exponentially drier since I've made the whole "let's-grow-the-pubes-back" pact (dude, pubes itch. I don't know if I can hack this). I wonder why... That kind of pisses me off. I'm willing to give up the bare vagina (I've read in some places that some men hate shaven vaginas because it makes them think of fucking a preteen little girl. Hm), but at the expense of my sexual... juicy-ness? We must come to a solution.

Lube (to me, anyway) is essential to a good masturbation/sex session. It just feels better to me. Having my fingers glide over my clitoris is an amazing sensation. I've heard of the most bizarre things being used. I mean, we've all heard of using the standard KY, Vaseline, or even spit (hey, desperate times call for desperate measures). I've also heard of people using lotion, olive oil, sunscreen, and water. Lotion? Really? Who the FUCK thought that was a good idea? On the labels, they tell you not to use most scented lotions on your face, let alone in your vagina! I've mentioned before that I had a lot of discharge during ovulation, which made for optimum masturbatory pleasure, and, though I've gotten some of that sexual gooey-ness back since going off TEP, it's nothing like how it used to be.

While we're on the topic of substitutes, I find it hilarious to hear about the things girl have inserted to get off. I have a friend who used an M&M Minis container. In a health care class that I took, one of my classmates claims to have known a girl who was sitting atop her dresser and penetrating herself with a broomstick. She heard her mom coming, so she attempted to remove it while jumping down, but um... She only jumped down without any removal, so she impaled herself and died. I don't find that very feasible. We've all heard of the carrot or cucumber or zucchini or squash. I've used a Sharpie and a an electric toothbrush, myself. Nothing too adventurous. I've not had any type of vaginal infection ::knocks on wood:: and I like to keep it that way, so inserting household items into my pussy is a no-no. I want The Amazing Dr. G to know that I take good care of the lady bits. Looking back, I've always touched myself, mostly at night. Just exploring the goods. Oh! I just remembered! I had a shower curtain rail. It was plastic and textured. I don't know when I started, but I remember standing up and holding it between my labia and grinding my clitoris on it. I would do it in front of a mirror and watch myself until I had an orgasm (because I shut my eyes when I come, apparently). I would do this two or three times a day and it always made me so sore, but it felt so good.

On that note, I'm going to brush my teeth, cleanse my face, and get in some good (and clitoral) me time.

The Virgin Monoblog

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Coconut Oil

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 10:58
Mama Sings the Blues (not verified)

I love using coconut oil as a lube...it smells and tastes good and the caprylic acid is anti-bacterial and good for the ladyparts. My boyfriend told me he once (semi-recently even!?) used SHAMPOO to masturbate with. OUCH! He fell asleep without washing it off and was somehow surprised to wake up to find his penis was burning. If you're going to use a haircare product (not high on my list) maybe it should be conditioner, not shampoo!

I feel as if I'm the only in

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 11:42
Anonymous User (not verified)

I feel as if I'm the only in the world who cant stand the feeling of lube! I actually prefer some form of friction.

Coconut oil?

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 16:35
VirginMonoblogger (not verified)

Hm. I've never thought of that as lubrication. I agree that it does smell good, but I am probbaly more terrified than most to get some type of infection. I shall research.

A friend used Bath and Body Works Japanese Cherry Blossom lotion for some anal lubrication. "All it took was two thrusts and my ass was on fire!"

Ouch!

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 16:42
VirginMonoblogger (not verified)

There's a difference between some good, raw humping and friction so hard that your clit is almost rubbed off. But, hey. Whatever gets you off; whether it's light touching or hot kink. :D

bald vs hairy

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 19:53
shadow (not verified)

Dont grow your pubes back for potential lovers. wear whats comfortable for you. I love pubes. my g/f loves being naked. i love my girl and her pussy. so do i love her pussy any less cause it has no hair? HELL NO!!!!
So keep you pussy naked, and if the guy loves you, he'll deal with it. If he bitches and moans, he doesnt love u, just your pussy. ditch him.

Shadow

Very sweet

Mon, 01/04/2010 - 22:12
VirginMonoblogger (not verified)

Shadow, that was sweet. I'm not growing the hair back for potential lovers. It was just an observation. I... couldn't really care less about how he/she feels about my pubic hair. I'm just trying something new. Not all my hair has "grown in", so it's still itchy. If I have a full bush and I still itch, it's back to bald for me.

I've used the handle of a

Tue, 01/05/2010 - 01:23
Anonymous (not verified)

I've used the handle of a lint-roller before. I would wipe it down with anti-bacterial wipes, then wrap it in Seran Wrap. After I got a bladder infection, and possible bacterial infection, I gave up on that and went back to just fingers. It's probably safer this way.

Coconut Oil

Tue, 01/05/2010 - 10:57
Mama Sings the Blues (not verified)

It is the kind you would find in the supplement department of a health food store. Totally safe to ingest/insert/and use topically. Not coconut scented lotion or anything you would randomly find in the cooking aisle although you can cook with it. It's the same idea as using Sweet Almond (or any other type of nut or seed oil...I also like jojoba but coconut tastes/smells better)

Curious

Sat, 01/09/2010 - 18:15
Anonymous (not verified)

How do you keep your vag bald all the time?
That's a lot of work!!!!! And you do it willingly, with preference even! Wow!

Also, you mentioned starting a blog in another post. Is this it or do you have another one that you don't mind admirers of your columns/postings reading?
I would love to check it out!

Hairy

Sat, 01/09/2010 - 19:42
VirginMonoblogger (not verified)

I'm hairy now, lol. I went all natural and I'm trying to grow a full bush and manicure it. It WAS a lot of work! I had to shave (at least) every other morning and my pores would be so open, it would burn with I peed. I am the most low maintenance chick ever. I shave the armpits and call it a day (I always wear jeans, so no one sees my legs).

Lovely Carlin had linked to my blog, but I recently changed the website. I would love for you to read and/or comment!

http://thevirginmonoblog1.blogspot.com/ is it!

Smooth For Years

Sun, 01/10/2010 - 03:24

I have been shaved smooth for years.  The only hair on my body is on my head! I usually shave as part of my morning shower routine. I use hair condtioner to shave with and have no problem at all with in-growing hairs burn etc.  The razor just glides over.

I do this for me.  I don't understand the pre-pubescent look argument as the same should apply to our underarms, legs and men's faces.

As for lube, if I'm with a lover I prefer their saliva from being deliciously licked rather than anything out of a tube or bottle.

Shaven vaginas? Ouch!

Fri, 09/28/2012 - 15:26

Hi VM
I think you mean shaven vulvas :-) seems to be an American thing. To me, it would be like saying mouth when you mean face.
I have heard ABOUt men thinking a shaved pussy is somehow suggestive of a little girl but never met anyone who thinks that.. I don't think that would stand up well, maybe at the really superficial level - ie no hair. I suppose it's irrelevant that it's part of a mature woman's body, much of which you will have engaged with by the time you get up close & personal. I suspect it might be a comment from men who don't do oral sex. Either is good, and all the variations in between.
I like that you do want you want with your sexuality & your body.
I could write a book about the parallels and contrasts between the constructs of virginity and celibacy.

curious about the clitoris pump

Fri, 05/29/2015 - 15:49
lynnette (not verified)

Hi, I am 41 years old. Since 2001 my vagina will not get lubricated. I do get a lil horny and excited for sex but once my husband and I have sex I dont get wet so I then get unexcited but continue to have sex to satisfy him. I've been reading a few of the questions and comments and was wondering if you can answer this question for me.
 I would like to try out the clitoris pump because i have a hard time getting wet, aroused, can't have an orgasm. I would like to know once i use the pump can i take  the pump of my clit and have sex with my husband and hopefully have an orgasm? Please help!!!

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.