How to Deal with a Limp Dick

Tue, 12/22/2009 - 10:27
Submitted by Susana Mayer Ph.D

The first time I went to bed with a man on Viagraâ I hadn't been informed, but I knew. OK, I know what you are thinking; of course you knew, you're a sexologist. But I've spoken to other women who were not in my profession, and we all knew.

The cock is hard as a rock; an appendage that feels like it has been on the verge of exploding for days and finally found you. A plastic dildo with human powers attached to a man.

I suspect, like everything having to do with sexuality there are probably some women who would welcome this super-cock. Not me. I missed being a "snake charmer" as one lover called me. I enjoy playing with a cock, controlling the ebb and flow, the taste and texture (compare mashed potatoes to boiled).

And finally, a man that can go slow, having lost that super sex drive ability to harden at the mere sight of a woman. The only problem is convincing him that sex is not only located between the legs. And perhaps you also have to find this out.

I will also admit, there are men that truly wish they could get hard and even with a fair amount of stimulation this will not occur. If you've been prescribed the pill, keep in mind you don't have to take the entire pill. Try half; it might work just as well without having super human qualities.

Men - Remember, you ingest Viagraâ but the woman is impacted by it, literally and figuratively. Discuss this med with your partner prior to taking it. Studies have shown Viagraâ is not always a welcome addition to the bed. In 2004 a New Zealand study* looked at the impact penile enhancing drugs such as Viagraâ have on long-term couples.

This qualitative study allowed women the opportunity to voice their concerns, these included: Viagraâ interrupting an otherwise wonderful sex life that had evolved as the partners matured, the women feeling pressured to perform when the men had taken this expensive pill and wanted to get their money's worth (No time for a head-ache or not being in the mood.), vaginal pain when these women had not been penetrated for an extended period of time (Often older women's vagina's have changed in shape and must be stretched over a period of time to accommodate for a large cock.).

The major reason these men took Viagraâ was to offer a gift to their wives. They thought their wives missed having a hard cock. For some that was true, but without communication before and during the process of working with this drug, it could have a negative impact on your relationship. You might want to consider discussing these issues with a clinical sexologist, someone who is trained in understanding the issues involved in taking these drugs. They can help you transition your expression of sexuality as you age, with and without the aid of penile enhancements.

* Reconceptualizing cultural narratives of mature women's sexuality in the Viagraâ era.

Tiina Vares, a, , Annie Pottsa, , Nicola Gaveya, and Victoria M. Gracea,

School of Culture, Literature, and Society, University of Canterbury, Private Bag 4800, Christchurch, New Zealand

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response to "How te dear with a limp dick"

Wed, 12/23/2009 - 01:26

First off, I never took Viagra nor would I take any drug of that nature. Not for egotistical reasons but more for the fear of side effects. I'm in my mid 50s and in good health.

As far as "a limp dick?" hehe that's funny. I think the dumbest thing a woman can do to a man that is having this problem psychologically, is get impatient or pissed, or show rejection. The smartest thing would be to realize making love involves more than a hard dick and let her man know it. Once a man relaxes and not "thinks" about his dick (after all, it's not our own dicks than turn us on - I hope :)) the magic will/should happen. Of course there are many factors involved between the intimate communication of TWO partners, while the key word is communication. Getting uninhibited is huge also. Just my 2 cents.


Limp dicks and Viagra

Wed, 12/23/2009 - 04:00

As an elderly man who has used Viagra for the last several years, I think Dr. Mayer fails to understand the use and desired effects of Viagra.

First of all, and most important, Viagra, in and of itself, does not, will not, cause an erection. A man still must have some stimulation or desire to get an erection, regardless of the Viagra dosage. (I usually only take 1/4th of a tablet and that does the job nicely. Larger doses don't improve things any further.)

Second. Viagra doesn't necessarily produce a "rock hard erection" nor does it increase the size of the cock over what it was prior to using the drug. Viagra does help with the quality of an erection, and more importantly, IMHO, it helps prolong the erection as long as stimulation or desire continues. For us older gents, or guys with erectile disfunction, Viagra is a big help in both respects.

At age 71, I still get erections easily and frequently. Stimulation and my aging but still attractive wife help. But without the Viagra, my erection is usually not stiff enough for comfortable penetration. And, without the Viagra, even once "engaged," I can't stay hard long enough to finish the job. With Viagra I can take things slow and easy without losing the erection.

I'm not sure of the effect that Viagra has on younger men. Perhaps they do get the "rock hard erections" that Dr. Mayer doesn't like. IMHO, most young guys shouldn't need Viagra unless thy suffer from some medical or psychological erection problem. Lots of older women complained when Viagra was first made available, beause they were not ready for the renewed sexual vigor of their partners. Men who had been mostly impotent and/or sexually inactive for some time suddenly found rejuvenation, and in many cases, their partners found sex uncomfortable and/or unwanted. For those of us with a reasonably active sex life up to and after the advent of Viagra, we got no grief from our partners when we began using Viagra as an aid. I dare say that in most cases it was welcomed by both partners.

I will agree with Dr. Mayer that communication is paramount, with or without Viagra, to a successful and rewarding sex life.


Response to Burt - How to Deal with a Limp Dick

Susana Mayer Ph.D's picture
Thu, 12/24/2009 - 06:56
Susana Mayer Ph.D

I didn’t deal with the mechanics of Viagra since that opens another can of worms and thought it would make for another post. Let’s just say I totally agree with what you said concerning the relationship of sexual desire and Viagra.  It is also another reason why some couples in the study divorced after Viagra was introduced into their relationship.

Studies are not at my finger tips, but it has been shown that as men age their penis’ do shrink in girth and length - this of course varies individually. From anecdotal and personal experience when taking Viagra it ‘grows’ back to the original size, giving appearance of enlarged penis.

Certain there are men for whom this drug is quite valuable as I noted in my article. Read back to my paragraph starting “I will also admit... I agree with you. It is why I mentioned taking a smaller dose. Please don’t try this, but if you get hard on only 1/4 of a pill can you imagine how your cock would react with a full dose?

I really wasn’t trying to dismiss men like you who feel they truly need it, who have communicated and discussed this with your wife. I was trying to wake up the men who just assumed a gift, as noted from study, would be a grand idea.

Happy that you and your wife are enjoying your sex life together. You are obviously a model Ageless Sex Life™ couple that realize the value of communication.

Susana Mayer, Ph.D.

Additional Response

Sun, 12/27/2009 - 18:40

My thanks to Dr Mayer for her response and for her agreement with most of my assertions. I would like to add the following:

Viagra dosage: As I said, a 1/4th tablet (25mg) works for me. I have tried 50mg and full 100mg tablets on several occasions and have found they don't cause any better reaction than the 25mg dose - i.e., no harder erection nor does it last any longer. Bigger doses just give me heartburn. Other's reactions may vary.

I have little experience with dicks other than my own. Thus my statement that Viagra doesn't cause bigger dicks - it certainly doesn't make me any bigger than I am with an unassisted erection. At least in appearance. A Viagra erection is firmer and may feel like additional girth, but there is no difference in visual appearance. A Viagra erection may indeed cause the glans to enlarge compared to an ordinary erection, and may visually add to the length. I personally don't count that as additional length.

Aging has actually increased the girth, if not the length, of my dick. Back in my 50s, my wife commented on several occasions, that I was much bigger than I was in my thirties (when we first met.) However, a slow gain in weight since then has caused an apparent shortening of my dick, and I only wish Viagra would change that. I think it was Oprah that said a man could gain an inch of penile length for every 20 pounds he lost.

And thanks for the Ageless Sex Life comment. Even back in my bachelor days, I found that communication and concentration on pleasing my partner provided for a much better sexual experience for both of us.


Response to Burt - How to Deal with a Limp Dick

Susana Mayer Ph.D's picture
Mon, 12/28/2009 - 18:25
Susana Mayer Ph.D

Oprah's influence has been incredible, there is absolutely no doubt in anyone's mind. However, ask virtually any sexologist and they will agree, sex-positive she is not. And definitely not very informed when it comes to sexuality. She often speaks with authority on this subject, but it is usually based on personal experience or anecdotal evidence, and her audience takes it as truth.

Oprah may very well have made that statement, but either she didn't follow up and say why or you didn't stay around for the reason. It is all illusion. When fat deposits around the abdomen it enlarges with weight gain, it then hides part of the penis. It may also feel different to the woman during intercourse because your enlarged abdomen gets in the way, keeping your penis from entering completely.

I could think of a lot of reasons to lose weight; please don't rely on diets or pills of any kind. Just push away from the table before you feel full. It takes your brain 20 minutes before it creates the full signal, by that time you have over eaten. Also, remember to do your kegels, your orgasms might very well become more powerful.

Happy New Year!

communication sex nitrogen

Mon, 12/28/2009 - 10:46
Anonymous (not verified)

An erection of the penis and clitoris invokes communication and the physical chemistry of nitrogen.
RARELY are they understood before 50 years of age.

Re: How to Deal with a Limp Dick

Mon, 12/28/2009 - 16:15
Amrita Waterfalls (not verified)

I didn't know/hadn't considered all the factors involved, such as Viagra not being helpful to the non-using partner, and the time a vagina needs to stretch to accomodate an enlarged penis. Very interesting. Thanks for posting!

Amrita Waterfalls

The popularity of "erectile

Sun, 02/14/2010 - 03:59
Rico (not verified)

The popularity of "erectile dysfunction" drugs is a direct result of the assumption in mainstream culture that masculinity is derived from virility and size of sexual organs, and the expectation that if a male's partner (be they male or female) desires sex then that male had better rise to the occasion. As men, our worth is all too often defined by our ability to serve as sex toys for our partners, or as cannon fodder in the latest wars. This is our function in society. Whatever "enlightened" partners exist out there, it is a drop in the bucket; these drugs will continue to gain popularity as long as men are seen as toys. The double standard is infuriating.

how my wife dealt with my limp dick after prostate surgery

Thu, 10/14/2010 - 17:52
john jones (not verified)

  after postate surgery my soldier would not stand at attention,hell he could not stand at ease . my wife bought a large penis extension fairly stiff and put a soft skin one over it it is fairly thick.Much longer and thicker as i was twice as thick and since i could not have erection she had me wear it almost every night.She said she was not cheating for sex and she still had needs and I have not felt her insides with my wilted penis for almost 5 years.I make it good for her and she makes it good for me by sucking it till I go then she still holds it in her mouth.Sometimes it seems that life is even better now because I know down deep my small penis never did it for her and now she can get off several times when we have sex.and now she moves all over the bed and moans like never before and has orgasms on my big extension that even I feel her muscles contracting and now instead of 2 times a week and no begging on my part she is ready almost every night. S tell ne size does not matter and that large is not always better.Her response is since I do no cumm she can enjoy it a whole lot longer and that is why she gets off so much more.Also I think she likes the fact that we only do it when she wants it!!!!!!!!Which seems all the time. Come on ladies own up and tell the truth.If you could have your husband wear a penis sleeve for a bigger dick and you knew he could not feel any pleasure from sex that you would be excited and do it lots more.


Sun, 02/06/2011 - 23:40
Hubby_58 (not verified)

I got a strapon for my wife after I lost my erections. She says she does not like it makes me beg to use it. I thinks she is bluffing because she moves and groans like cray then cums everytime we use it and thanks me after we finish. Some times I even cum myself. I enjoy the closeness and the real good blow job I get If I don't cum befor her. I don't understand why she makes me beg. She loves her dildo.