I just finished getting off a couple times to a pretty hot MFM porn video. Fantasy has been replaced by porn this past week, and I’ve been alternating between lesbian porn and straight porn.
There really is no difference at all in how aroused the two genres make me. Choosing between straight porn and lesbian porn is like choosing between chocolate and bacon, and this realization has led me back to amazement-land over my mysteriously-blossoming sexuality.
You hear a lot about straight women suddenly discovering their sexual attraction to other women, but not a lot of the reverse. For most of my life, I was basically gay. I didn’t really want to be, I didn’t really consider myself to be, but the only gender that aroused me was women. Straight porn or fantasies got me nowhere. Then, shortly after turning 17, after at least 15 years of masturbating and fantasizing, I began finding heterosexual scenarios somewhat arousing. I even managed to get off to them a couple times, but it was still a weak and forced turn-on compared to my lesbian fantasies.
I met my boyfriend last fall. I liked him, but was kind of meh on our chemistry at first and was unsure if I’d be sexually compatible with a man. The first couple months of fooling around, I couldn’t get off. It was partially nerves and partially that I wasn’t aroused by our heterosexual fondling. When I finally managed to get off by masturbating with him present, we moved on quite quickly to fucking.
At first, I had to carefully concentrate on a lesbian fantasy in order to get off during the sex. A couple months later, I was aroused by what we were doing, but still not enough to get off to it, so I combined lesbian fantasy with focusing on what was hot about the things that we were doing. Phase three was me finding straight scenarios very arousing, but still having to fantasize about either straight or lesbian sex during sex in order to orgasm for some reason.
Finally, for the past several months, sex has felt “natural” – I get aroused quickly and easily, the progression to orgasm is not forced or something I need to concentrate on, and fantasy is not needed at all (though occasionally it makes things more fun, like when I secretly imagine that he’s my brother and we need to hurry up and finish before our parents catch us). The sex is effortless, feels right, and is soak-my-gotchies hot.
It’s been a bit perplexing to me that I’m now as turned on by men as I have always been turned on by women. Perplexing, but a really neat present to have my sexuality suddenly expanded like this. It feels like everything turns me on now and it’s really cool. Damn, female sexuality really is fluid.