"I Took a Bodysex Group in 1988 & Again in 2012"

Tue, 11/20/2012 - 15:51
Submitted by Anonymous

I’ve known Betty since 1988. We met in a Women’s Group in NYC called ‘The Bliss Group’.

The mission of this group was: ‘I Am the Source of Life Showing up as Bliss’ - To explore that concept and to find ways to make it happen in our individual lives as well as relationships, community and the world. My individual group was wonderful; women of all ages ranging from early twenties to mid-70’s.

Each month we would have a meeting, alternating in different people’s homes. At one meeting Betty showed up at with paper flyers that she gave out and told us about a workshop she ran in her apartment. Reading the flyer we started giggling and asking questions. Something came over me and I asked my friend Carey if she would take the workshop if I did it. It was sort of a dare. We both agreed on the spot - not knowing anything except we had to be naked. Carey was pregnant at the time and this was all assuming she would give birth and be able to come.

Fast Forward to the day of the workshop – September 1988 - Saturday Morning. We’ve gotten past the disrobing at the door and we are sitting in the circle in Betty’s living room. Carey is next to me – her beautiful post baby body: full breasts (with milk) and a still tender Vulva. But she is there along with 10 other women and Betty. We each have brought the required equipment: A medium size, clean, full Cucumber in a zip-lock bag. Of course we had an idea of what it was for, but the mystery was in the air of what was to come….

As you would guess, the next 2 days were miraculous and changed my life forever. I still remember Betty’s ‘grooming tips’ for my pussy. I remember in detail the stories that each woman told about their orgasms. The woman who said that she had never had an orgasm (she was 58). The woman who said she was afraid to touch herself; the woman who had never looked at her body; the women who wanted more from their lives and knew there was a sexuality within that they must access.

Betty, with such care and love and understanding listened to each woman as their story was the most important in the room. My issues? I wanted more! I was able to orgasm but I knew there was more. I had this belief that I had to hold my breath in order to orgasm. Really! And, I had so much tension in my body and holding myself so stiff, I sometimes was sore the next day from using all those muscles.

The 2 days of talking, meditating, looking, sharing touching culminating in the grand group masturbation and group massage was beyond words. To have a life changing experience that was about one’s sexuality is to be re-born. I personally did not want to leave Betty’s home on Sunday night. I remember that feeling so vividly – that room contained the energy and feelings and acceptance that I wanted in my life.

I stayed in touch with Betty on and off over the years. I actually wrote a short play about the workshop that was performed by the small Off Off Broadway Theater Company I was involved with, along with other sex-themed short plays. Betty came to the show and also did a benefit fund-raiser talk for us. Betty asked me to do several interviews over the years for magazines and television when they needed people to tell about their experience in the workshop.

The strangest one was being in a hotel room for 3 hours with a German television crew interviewing me about the workshop. Just me and 4 guys. I was pretty brave 23 years ago. Over the years I always felt that I wanted to do the workshop again; to be back in that ‘room’ with other women and to feel that energy and remarkable experience.


When I heard that Betty was doing another series of workshops I signed up immediately! 23 years and 3 children later I was getting to be in that ROOM again. I showed up on Saturday September 29, 2012, met at the door by a nude Carlin and immediately started disrobing with the other women in the entryway. It was enthralling. The feeling of knowing what was to happen was beyond description. That experience! I was there again – and it was totally new and enthralling.

The next 2 days were once again life changing and remarkable. Betty and Carlin are the most incredible team; they have a connection and chemistry that is so beautiful. They spread that like a cloak over the room and brought everyone into that warmth and closeness with a comfort that was immediate. The show & tell was great – I had been doing Betty’s grooming suggestions J. She did notice that my clit was always hard. Hmmmm, interesting. This time around we named our pussy. Mine is Lily.

Each woman was different and so enchanting. There was the darling, traditional Asian Scientist who was there to heal from a life trauma and was so brave to be in this circle. The women who traveled from as far as Israel and as close as a few blocks away, sharing our stories and our sexuality in this room - accessing our sexual selves with total acceptance and celebration of who we are. Regaining that feeling was huge; so grand that to find words to describe it is nearly impossible.

Imagine that you have found and accessed a part of you and a connection that you did not know was there and it became ‘born’ inside of you. That as an adult you have expanded and bloomed. I have been sexual and masturbating my entire life, but being in that room brings one to another level. Even 23 years later. Going out to dinner each night with the group brought that energy and closeness out into the world. I loved the workshop! I would do it monthly if I could. It was truly one of the most remarkable experiences in my life. (By the way, no cucumber this time – we had Betty’s amazing Barbell instead!!)

I believe we need to keep that energy and spark going inside of us – to connect with other women on a regular basis to reinforce and share what we are discovering. I’ve been speaking to Betty and Carlin about creating a group here in the NYC area –where women who have taken the Bodysex Workshop could meet every few months and share our lives and sexual energy. We don’t know what it would look like yet, but it’s exciting to know that this is possible.

Now that you know about me, I’m going to continue to blog; about sex as it relates to my life, women, families, living in nyc, marriage/not-marriage, and anything that seems relevant. Please let me know what you would like as well. I’m very excited to share this journey with you….

Comment viewing options

Select your preferred way to display the comments and click "Save settings" to activate your changes.

Scout's insights

Wed, 11/21/2012 - 11:00
Fond Care

Thank you Scout, really looking forward to hearing your insight into all those parts of sexuality in your life, especially a life that has included Betty's, and now Carlin's, workshops.