The Latest on Female Ejaculation

Tue, 11/03/2009 - 15:51
Submitted by Rebecca Chalker

Domindoll at sexbodygender had quite the rant after watching Betty and Carlin's How to Squirt video

Betty asked me to respond with the latest on female ejaculation:

In terms of female ejaculation, the world is divided into two groups: those who do it or have seen it, and believe it, and those who don't do it or haven't seen it and remain skeptical. Betty and I have been having a collegial discussion about female ejaculation for years. I'm a believer, she's not.

My book The Clitoral Truth has a chapter, "Female Ejaculation: Fact or Fantasy?" in which I cover this widely disputed phenomenon in detail. Without getting into a squirting match with anyone, here is how I understand female ejaculation, or the lack thereof.

In A New View of A Woman's Body (which I edited with Carol Downer), the Feminist Women's Health Centers revealed that just as the penis is more than its tip, the clitoris more than its pea-sized tip that everyone calls the clitoris. Both women and men have a collection of anatomical parts that make up their powerful genital organ systems. The Feminist Women's Health Centers actually redefined the entire clitoris as a group of anatomical parts that contribute to or are changed by orgasm. They also identified a tube of spongy erectile tissue that surrounds the female urethra that was unnamed and rarely illustrated in anatomy textbooks. They named it the "urethral sponge." They also found some research that identified two dozen or more tiny glands imbedded in the sponge that produce an alkaline fluid. Later, Dr. Milan Zaviacic did exhaustive research on this structure and named it the "female prostate." The Feminist Women's Health Centers clearly demonstrated that the sponge is an integral part of the whole clitoris.

BTW, the urethral sponge is similar to the spongy erectile tissue that surrounds the male urethra. And female ejaculate and male ejaculate are chemically similar. They both contain prostate specific antigen (PSA), a substance not found in urine. And the urethral sponge/female prostate is an integral part of the clitoral system, just like the male prostate is an integral part of the penile system. All female orgasms are clitoral no matter how they are stimulated, just like all male orgasms are penile.

What Whipple and Perry identified as the G spot is not an anatomical structure at all. Urologists Helen O'Connell and John Delancey did functional MRIs on the clitoris and reported that they did not find any structure that could be considered to be a "G spot." (Journal of Urology, February, 2006). What is being felt and stimulated is actually the urethral sponge or the female prostate, whichever you prefer to think of it as, and it can be felt and massaged through the vaginal wall. The urethral sponge is not part of the vagina, which a thin but very tough muscular sheath with few nerve endings. It's a clitoral structure.

In their original articles on the G spot, Whipple and Perry insisted that female ejaculation was a result of orgasm, but quickly retracted it. This dribble, spurt, squirt, or gush is a sign of a peak or peaks of pleasure that lead up to orgasm, but peak pleasure can certainly occur without ejaculation. And it can happen once or more, sometimes many more times, in a single sexual session. Or hey, not at all. And you do not have to press, push, massage, or rub the sponge through the vaginal wall to cause ejaculation.

There is no agreement as to why all women don't ejaculate. For some women, it's pretty reliable. For others, rarely, or not at all. Or, if you only do intercourse, you may ejaculate, but not notice it because it just oozes out and makes a wet spot on the bed which is usually attributed to the guy. Guys squirt reliably, but not that much and it's a cloudy, viscous goo. Some women simply don't have very many prostatic glands. And, according to Zaviacic, the structure varies quite a bit from woman to woman.

The amount of fluid may be hormonally promoted, who knows? Some women, especially those who just do intercourse, may not get turned-on enough to ejaculate or let alone have an orgasm. And it is known that some women suppress their sexual response so they won't "wet the bed." Some videos show women ejaculating, but because no one evaluated the fluid, we don't know if it is ejaculate, Evian, beer, or bathwater. Interestingly, none of the women in Betty's videos ejaculated, but they seemed to be having a pretty good time anyway. Will somebody please update Dr. Oz?

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Interesting

Tue, 11/03/2009 - 21:42
A.U. (not verified)

Sometimes I think the word "ejaculate" or "squirt" makes people think you spray across the room like a man, but it doesn't happen for me like that. When I come very very close to orgasm a couple times but don't get there, and then finally do, that's when something comes out, I kind of feel it spill out of my body and there's a definite wet spot almost with a small trajectory pattern (a la CSI!) I always know when I do it, I can feel it happen. And the orgasm is usually really strong, a result of the building and building. It has happened a few times with really good oral sex, but usually through a pretty long, intense masturbation session, and never with something inside of me. Now I will say that it happens more frequently since I had children. I don't think it's a bladder thing, because there are no stained sheets, but has any study tested the fluid?

It would be interesting to hear the circumstances that are going on when it happens to others!

Thank you

Wed, 11/04/2009 - 08:34
DominaDoll (not verified)

Thank you Betty for asking Rebecca to respond to my "rant", especially since you don't wholly agree with her POV. This is what I was hoping for was some sort of response with accurate information on the subject of female ejaculation and the G-spot (female prostate/ urethral sponge, or whatever name you want to call it). I am pleased that you have made this information available to your readers, as it is one of the subjects on female sexuality that is most overlooked on dodsonandross.com.

And, thank you Rebecca for sharing your knowledge on this subject with others. I would love to see your "collegial discussion" on video and have Betty clarify what she means by "parlor tricks" and ejaculate being "pee" as this is how the video in question was interpreted, not only by myself but many others. I do realize that porn videos show these "tricks" and most often what you see may not be real ejaculate. Hey, I once saw a woman shoot a ping-pong ball from her vagina into the audience. Talk about strong PC muscles!

However, many women do experience ejaculation (while masturbating in private) so there would be no reason to perform a trick. I also know that many women cannot for various reasons ejaculate, some of which may be physical barriers, but then some women cannot orgasm either. But, for those to wish to try, having accurate information available to them is important.

I am just wondering what you wanted to update Dr. Oz on? That the G-spot is not the "KEY" to female pleasure, and that it is a part of the clitoral structure? Yes, he should be notified immediately!

Thanks for talking more about the whole G-Spot idea

Wed, 11/04/2009 - 19:16
carlisleorama (not verified)

I get so frustrated when I read sex manual after sex manual suggesting that the g-spot is the key to female ejaculation. I'm sure it is for many women, or at least penetration is since the g-spot as we know it may or may not exist. But for me, and many many other ladies out there, it's not about the stupid freakin g-spot at all. I ejaculate when I have a super intense orgasm, and I'm not going to have an intense orgasm without my clit! I feel so sorry for all those women out there who have had a lover who read one of those books and is now spending hours of frustration stabbing at her g-spot and hoping something will happen. I wish there were more people out there talking about how every woman's sexual response is different and ever changing. Thank goodness for D & R and all your friendly bloggers! Thank you Rebecca for this very informative article. Let's keep spreading the word.

squirting across the room

Thu, 11/05/2009 - 10:31

 I would like to settle what my position is on this topic once and for all. I accept the fact that women have prostate-like glands in the urethral sponge and that a small percentage of them expel varying amounts of fluid when they orgasm. That said, the questioner asked how could she "squirt across the room" which I still say would be similar to a parlor trick. Very entertaining, especially for insecure men who long to make a woman come for their own edification: "See what a good lover I am. She blew her load across the room."

My main objection to the whole g spot craze is that too many people see it as the "Holy Grail of Female Orgasm." Those were Dr. Oz exact words.This is a big mistake! It is simply one kind of orgasm. Most of us are having what I call combination orgasms, clitoral stimulation with vaginal penetration at the same time. In a society where far too many women are searching for some kind of sexual pleasure they could identify as orgasm, I find all of this probing inside the vagina looking for a "spot" creating more problems than it solves. A mere 23 % of women have this response. I'm the voice for the other 77% who don't. Like I first stated: The g spot is the new name for vaginal orgasms. And need I remind us that men are way too anxious to find it, make her shoot and prove they are really good in bed. 

Thanks Betty

Thu, 11/05/2009 - 18:25
DominaDoll (not verified)

Dear Betty,

Thank you for clarifying your POV. I totally agree with what you are saying. Although, I can squirt pretty explosively (on occasion) and it is not a parlor trick for me.

I also agree that the G-spot is over-hyped and pointed that out in my critique, and that THAT was what ticked you off with what Dr. Oz was saying. I also clarified in my critique that the clitoris is the KEY and main pleasure organ in women, and most women cannot orgasm without it. So, you see I agree with you more than I disagree.

Perhaps only 23% of women have this response, but many women still don't even know what a G-spot is. And, I don't see how any type of orgasm or sexual exploration of your body can be "bad" or creating problems. Women should be able to obtain accurate knowledge on ALL their sexual parts and ways to orgasm, and decide for themselves what they wish to explore.

I am also the voice of 77% as I have regular clitoral orgasms (the main way I enjoy climaxing). But, I am also the voice of the 23% who can also squirt and have G-spot orgasms. I'm just saying that it is okay to validate both, not either / or.

And, as far as men are concerned, I could give a flying f@ck what they think. It is not men who get me off, but my own ability to self-pleasure.

Thank you for an interesting and thought provoking discourse!

agreeing with Betty

Tue, 01/26/2010 - 00:47
Jessica P (not verified)

I am a squirter. It's not a myth. Copious amounts come out at times. Reaching 6 feet (like men obsessed with their own load of cum, I've measured with a tape measure). So much can come out that I would say it can be up to a litre/quarter gallon for the Americans, though after a good session and not at one time. Sometimes I can control it and encourage it or discourage it (if I don't feel like doing laundry!) but sometimes I can't control it. I can teach partners to do it, some figure it out, and I can do it myself easily...if I'm in the right mood.

It is not the BEST orgasm. It is not the ULTIMATE orgasm. And I hate when people consider it such or when other partners do. It is just one kind of orgasm.
(Side note: For me, it is definitely a combination of G spot and ALSO clitoris stimulation with fingers which I have to explain to partners again and again because of the myths! For myself, I've noticed clitoral stimulation fills the glands up.)

Sometimes it's fun and I squirt, squirt, squirt. It feels good and is fun - an external feeling, I'm guessing closer to what men feel. Other times I want to keep it all in and let it build, build, build into a very strong more internal orgasm. There are all sorts of different orgasms and to consider ejaculation as the best is ridiculous or subject to personal preference.

I think men can have other kinds of orgasms too and should be encouraged to explore rather than be performance and ejaculatory orientated. When I was with a man who had an orgasm for the first time without ejaculation it "weirded him out". Just like what I felt the first time I ejaculated.

Ejaculation

Thu, 03/04/2010 - 07:55
Taryn (not verified)

I'm a believer, as I'm one of the ones who has seen it. The first time I saw it was at 23 when an ex-gf of mine started ejaculating. She had warned me but I still got a shock when it first happened. The longer we were together, the more ejaculate she produced. I assume it was a comfort thing that caused the increase. Female ejaculation is supposed to be tied up with penetration, however this girl didn't enjoy penetration at all.

A few years later I ejaculated for the first time. I was terribly insecure about it for a few years, wondering if perhaps I was deluding myself and it was really just urine. I tried everything, including smelling the sheets and having a pee beforehand. I've concluded that it really is ejaculate, as it doesn't smell like urine and the orgasms I have when I ejaculate are very different from my usual orgasms. Also it only happens with penetration.

I am concerned about the new obsession with the G-spot however. Back when I first discovered Female Ejaculation we managed fine without even realising that the G was there. Last year I worked in a women4women adult store for 8 months and every second woman wanted to know how to have a G orgasm - some of them wondering if there was something 'wrong' that they'd never managed it.

Surely an orgasm is an orgasm?

I'm all for making sex better, but not at the expense of your sexual pleasure.

what is the argument here

Fri, 07/09/2010 - 22:37
The Empress (not verified)

I am a mother of one and I have been masturbating maybe my entire life. I can't go to long without experiencing an orgasm so I do it often. I love sex. When it comes to female ejaculation, I have only experienced it a few times. The first time was when I was in my early teens. I had already used the bathroom but i felt pressure building up. I didn't feel like stopping so i just let it out. But it wasn't pee. And it felt great. Not as great as my normal orgasm but still pretty good. I don't mind it so much because mine doesnt shoot out across the room. It has never gone past a yard/meter. I think that its nice to be able to put a name to everything that happens in our bodies but its not necessary. Feel good is feel good no matter what you call it. I didn't know what an orgasm was the first time I had one but I knew I wanted to keep having them. I don't see why there is even an argument about female ejaculation. We sound like men. Arguing over the validity of a woman's sexual expression. I say we should all go home, touch ourselves the way we like, have our own orgasms and leave the labels and arguments out. Let's explore instead of argue.

Ejaculating without Orgasm?

Sun, 08/01/2010 - 10:17
WithoutO (not verified)

I have never experienced climax, yet ejaculate fairly easily. I feel uncomfortable when this happens as it just doesn't seem 'normal' and since I am yet to orgasm, question whether it really is something which indicates arousal or if instead i'm just squirting unknown fluid from pressure release?
All insight is appreciated!!

Female ejaculation, in my experience, is associated with clit

Sun, 08/31/2014 - 11:10
JoeyP (not verified)

I am a 48 year old man and in my experience, female ejaculation has predominantly been triggered by clitoral stimulation. I am very surprised in reading all these posts that popular thought is linking it to the mythical g-spot or vaginal orgasm.

I have been sexually active since my mid teens and have been with about 100 women over the last 32 years and have only encountered two that squirt. Since a number of these girls and I shared five or less encounters, it is quite possible that a number of the others may be squirted but were uncomfortable since they did not know me we'll. still, it seems to me incredibly rare.

The first experience I had with a girl who squirted I was completely unprepared for. I was only 18 years old and the girl had not told me about it. It was 1984 and there was no popular body of knowledge about it, at least that I had been exposed to. I was walking a girl home from a bar that we would frequent and we decided to fool around on the banks of the river in this small Texas college town. I was going down on her when she reached the third or fourth of several climaxes with a big climax, measured by the rest of her body's response, not just by the squirt8ng. I probably swallowed a glassful before I decided that maybe she was peeing instead of releasing more natural lubricant. It didn't taste like pee, though. It wasn't very salty and was clear. She and I fooled around another half dozen times and she always ejaculated due to clitoral stimulation, never during intercourse.

To my chagrin, I never encountered this again throughout my extremely promiscuous twenties and thirties and then married a non-squitrter by 35. I divorced in 2012 and spent a couple of years again highly promiscuous and finally settled down with my current girlfriend. About a two months into our relationship I felt squirting on my finger when she climaxed from my fingering her. I lovingly told her I thought she might be a squirter and she was relieved I new what it was and told me she often squirted upon orgasm when using a vibrator, but was self-conscious about it with a partner. I assured her is was completely sexy to me and told her I wouldn't want her muting any sexual enjoyment due to embarrassment with me as nothing she was likely to do would put me off.

Again, this woman only ejaculates based on clitoraal stimulation. She generally has three or four smaller orgasms before her big orgasm that is accompanied by squirting, again, I am measuring her big orgasm based on the rest of her bodily response, not just the fact that she is also squirting.

Again, this fluid does not strike me a urine. It tastes good, is not salty, and is clear, but murky. My current girlfriend explains that it does not feel like peeing and she usually fully releases her bladder before sex.

I am sure neither of these girls were trying to impress me or make me feel like a great lover as both girls were enjoying clitoral stimulation instead of intercourse when they ejaculated. My current girlfriend and I, in fact, generally begin sexual play with her bringing herself to orgasm (and squirting) by vibrator, then have intercourse. She has squirted a bit during intercourse, but I believe it is an extenuating of her orgasm she has already given herself.

Sorry to be so long winded, but I wanted to be thorough because I believe female ejaculatiin is getting a bad rap here as being related to the g-spot, vaginal orgasms and penetration which also seems to suggest that for it to be authentic a man should be involved. This has not been the case in my limited experience. In fact, both girls reported most often experiencing ejaculation due to masterbation with clitoral stimulation only. I think this is something women can own themselves.

"Squirting"

Fri, 11/11/2016 - 01:06
Goddesswoman (not verified)

At the ripe old age of 61, I have started to experience this (squirting).
I have always had difficulty (as in NEVER) having orgasms with a partner, though solo sex
presented no problems in having sometimes multiple orgasms.
Finally, I was able to share the experience with my very patient and able-handed lover.
As I have multiple health issues which can affect sexual expressiveness (MS, diabetes, Fibro, cardio, arthritis), it is a victory just to FEEL at all, let alone have an orgasm.
My lover ever eager to please me, discovered rather by accident, that fingers inserted vaginally, with rubbing of the hymaneal ridge (alleged "G" spot area) and a finger inserted anally, with oral, vibrator, or digital clitoral stimulation results in squirting, really squirting, sometimes with trajectory. This fluid is clear, odorless, and according to my lover, is sweet tasting. (Bless him, he has been hit in the face with it.) We have become proactive in using two towels (two!) under me before sex, since there is definately a wet spot, especially with prolonged sessions. Is it an orgasm? Not quite...not as intense, not with uterine contractions, but definately a release, and pleasurable. A "regular" orgasm always requires intense vibrator use (Magic Wand type)on the drect clitoral area,  along with some kind of penetration. I am sure I am not representitive of every woman, since all of us respond differently, each depending on circumstance. I did want to offer my experience that what we call "The thumbthing" (thumb being the massaging finger) is a real boon to our repetoire. You don't have to be young to have a good sex life! It is all about communication, exploration, emotional connection, and creative ways of maintaining interest in each other in this way. Sex can be sacred, ritual, cosmic, and very entertaining!

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