The Vibrator as Man Porn

Sat, 02/02/2013 - 16:24
Submitted by Princess

I write this to offer a perspective that is new to me. I am always looking to understand and to provide new ways that couples with limp libidos can excite themselves. – and each other. Trust me, this is not an easy job. Besides the practical difficulty of being so consistently creative, taking into account individual issues around sex, and around each other and around their relationships, makes this a challenge.

I discovered the other day what real power a vibrator can have – for a guy. I have heard that most men are intimidated when a woman wants a toy in the bedroom. But what happens to a toy “out” of the bedroom.

To focus on just that tidbit and not give credit to hard work in treatment and crisis on the front because of sexual pain, lack of sex for many years, etc., would be oversimplifying. But this is what happened.

I had to help the woman regain her sexual identity, correct the pain problem and begin to engage with the husband – if he was even able to perform after so long, or wanted to perform. This was, I thought, as important as whether they would or wouldn’t stay together.

Clearly needing to see a physician who gave her dilators and estrogen creams to rejuvenate a very dry vagina, she also needed to masturbate. And here comes the Vibrator. By mistake she bought a Hitachi magic wand which, if you’ve not seen it, looks like a weapon, to be exact, like a club. She should have ordered the Mystic wand. But it was a serendipitous mistake.

The husband saw the huge vibrator and was taken aback. Two things to note here: one: he had stopped seeing his wife in sexual terms. That she was interested and bought herself a toy just stopped him in his tracks. And then of course there’s the old male phenomenon of Competition. How could he, would he, ever compete with that?

Great news is that they have had sex, a number of times, without pain. She has had the good fortune to enjoy her sexuality like she thought she never could again.

And hubby is not so sure he wants to leave so fast.

For me, the newest revelation is that a vibrator can do more than enhance a woman’s sexual persona. It can seemingly, easily, titillate and stimulate a man’s vision of his partner as an intimate playmate.

Pretty cool, right? The vibrator as manporn.

What would my mother say?

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Vibrators and partners

Tue, 02/05/2013 - 00:59

Thanks for a very interesting story. It sounds as if it wasn't only that the husband stopped seeing his wife in sexual terms, she had stopped seeing herself that way, too. It would be nice if the husband got himself his own vibrator now. They could use them separately or during partner sex and double their enjoyment! It's nice to hear about a couple whose troubles have a happy ending.

One thing, though---I think that men everywhere would appreciate it if their side of partner sex was no longer referred to as a 'performance'. This is outdated terminology that implies that successful hetero partner sex depends on a very narrow vision of what lovemaking is all about. There are many ways of having loving sex. There's no need to invoke 'performance anxiety' and limit the definition of successful lovemaking.

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