Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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Steve,
I completely agree with you that E.L. James' writing style leaves much to be desired. This is not Shakespeare, this is very tame (but sexy) erotica. I'm just so happy that so many women are reading it because it means that (hopefully) women are becoming more comfortable in their sexuality. Enjoying sex is a great thing!
Having read the first two books and then being completely unable to finish the third because of the over-the-top gushyness, I understand where you are coming from indeed.
Having said all this, "50 Shades of Grey" could be incredibly fun and informative for a man to read and then communicate with his lady about what she finds arousing in the book. I think that a huge element of the equation is being desired. A woman loves to feel like she has a sexually intoxicating effect on a man. A man who is adventureous in the bedroom and who is completely lost in the moment is pretty damn sexy.
Instead of having to put up with the "cringe worthy writing" (I agree!).... skim through the book to find the "sexy" parts and gain some inspiration. Reading "50 Shades of Grey" is just another way to get the creative sexual juices flowing (pun intended).
I just love that "50 Shades" is sex positive and that so many women are reading it!

Hi Gwenn,
A very good suggestion... :o)  Perhaps I will do just that.  I certainly am ALL FOR sex-positive works like these.  Certainly my girlfriend's response to the novels is VERY positive.  Maybe I have be a bit less snobby and get out of my head for a bit in order to just sit back and enjoy the sights and sounds the books feature... :o)  Thanks, Gwenn.
Cheers,
Steve

Princess, we have a female friend who brings her copies of 'Fifty Shades' to work and reads them during her lunch break. Apparently this isn't unusual. My wife isn't afraid of sexy writing, although 'Fifty Shades' doesn't seem to be her style because she hasn't tried to read it yet. But if she liked it and asked me to read it, I would---we often discuss the books we're reading. I'm curious about the series because it's so popular, and I saw a delightful interview with the author, in which she laughingly admits that she knows that her books are anything but well-written and she was astonished that they took off and became best-sellers. She's an amateur author who was just having fun setting down her own fantasies, and she has no pretentions whatsoever about her work.

It seems to me that many men would at least be curious about what's turning on their wives and girlfriends. I certainly would be. If some men aren't, it might be enlightening to discover what it is that puts them off about 'Fifty Shades'. No doubt some men, the kind who don't respect women as equals, don't take 'Fifty Shades' seriously because so many women do. But it's quite a leap from there to the notion that the vast majority of men are so filled with abject terror about these books that they'd rather do almost anything than read them, even if their beloved partner asked them to. I'm not quite sure what you're suggesting in your piece. That most men would fear they couldn't possibly measure up to a fictional billionaire, so they'd dread even reading about one? There's something in 'Fifty Shades' that's speaking to a lot of women---I'd think that if a man's partner was one of them, he'd want to know what that was. Sharing is good.

P.S. Gwenn, your post came in while I was writing mine. Thank you for your totally sensible suggestions and insights. Men (and women too) can learn a lot from their partner's desires and interests.

I'm sure the book has it's merits, but how it universally reflects the desires of "women" when there's so much other material someone could look into including actually talking to your partner/s to finally arrive at the conclusion that there are 3.5 billion people who ID as women and they are diverse. I strongly ID as female and I appreciate there are people who want to read it but I wouldn't. Patrick how about writing an erotic story with your partner  about the 2 of you. Then you'll experience how the book has effected her. Something you'll likely never discover from reading it yourself, as your not her. So the book could have merits but the main reason so many people are reading it could be simply because a lot of other people are reading it. The same reason a lot of people read HP and why everyone else ended up dancing with this guy.

Having read all 3 books I don't understand why you want men to read them, or what exactly you expect them to learn. That a virgin can instantly be multi-orgasmic? That a young woman who has never even masturbated is a natural sex goddess who can orgasm just by having her breasts touched? That women want a sociopath for a lover? That only a man can teach her about her sexuality?

Please stop promoting this as sex education. It's nothing more than poorly written, poorly researched dribble.

I can't recommend reading this review of the book more: http://bizzybiz.blogspot.co.uk/2012/06/50-screams-of-hate.html

Laugh out loud funny, and perfectly illustrates Mele's points above.

I think the point is that the sex education may be for us,the reader, not anyone else. It's not the specific ways of having sex but Just that  women continue to read this "drivel." Your point is well taken but the sheer fact that women continue to love it says something much more. This aint sex ed.  I'm not sure what it is. Despite how we women deplore the old macho, misogynistic, politically reprehensible rhetoric of yore, there's still something about the stuff that goes on between the book covers that should demand our attention.  Why, why, what, about these anti -women sexual characterizations is so powerful to women.  And thats what men may want to discover.  Maybe its just the part about Christian wanting her so much.  Maybe its the constant seduction, maybe its the sheer devotion to her pleasure. Maybe its as simple as Ana being the focus of pleasure, her pleasure, that is so erotic.  I think we need to figure out that part.  There's surely a teachable moment there.

Mele,
Thanks for the link...   But may I ask why you read all three of the books if you disliked the first one (I assume) so much?  I'm just curious what might have motivated you to do so...  Thanks.
Cheers,
Steve

Hi Steve
The only reason I read the first book was peer pressure :-)
So many people that I know asked if I had read it and when I said I hadn't they insisted it was just the kind of thing I would love. They were seriously wrong. Reading books 2 and 3 was part wanting to see if I had missed the attraction that people were apparently getting, part hoping the writing would improve and so I could say I gave them a fair go. I'm just glad I only borrowed them and didn't waste any money.

Hi Mele,
I see... You are a more dedicated person than I, it seems... ;o)  Thanks for responding.  By the way, is there any sex-positive women's erotica that you could recommend?  Such as it is, the 50 Shades series really got my girlfriend into erotica... :o)  Thanks, Mele.
Cheers,
Steve

My favourite is Quiver by Tobsha Learner. Anais Nin is quite popular also. I like stories that combine what I like done to me with what I fantasise about being done to me. I hope you and your girlfriend have a great time ;-)

Thanks, Mele!  I had forgotten all about Anais Nin (shame on me), but I will definitely look at Quiver.  The title alone is very promising... ;o)  Much appreciated, Mele.  :o)
Cheers,
Steve

Is the lesson that women are turned on by the idea of unrealistically wealthy men, who are young, powerful and dominating?   If 50 Shades carries any truth, it is really a sad portrayal of the state of our society.  Guys want T&A, and women want wealth.  Maybe there are some ladies who read chick-lit that involves a decent looking 40-something man with a stable job and just a small mortgage?

Okay,
This is driving me nuts, why is it so hard to believe that 50 Shades of Grey could be worth reading.  You know and i'm not saying you can't have an opinion if you don't read it or if you don't read it all the way through, but there are alot of us out here that appreciate these books.  First mind you it's a FICTIONAL story, which in my opinion means it's there to excersize your imagination, not to be completely compared to real life crap.....Take it from me I am not impressed with my current 3 year dry spell...lol    These books are really about many key things.  Like Finding strength in your own sexuality, even if it means someone helps you get there---Realizing that just because you've done the same things with sex that you always have, your not an expert, and there are ways of rediscovering your sexual world (which is what I think Christian did in the book)----And probably I think the most important one is that no matter how you choose to figure it out the best way to really fly high with your sexual partner is by communicating with each other, the book really made a point in showing how the characters pushed and pulled each other through descovering what did and didn't work for them...which only improved on their sexual relationship..     I meen whether you want to admit it or not the key problem with sex today is whether or not were bvrave enough to state what we want and deserve inorder to maintain our plessure.  The book was made the way it was because thats how todays society sees shit.....but that does not take away from the ideas and intensions of the story....so I guess all that I'ld ask is that you really dig in to the book as a whole before you give up on it...
Oh and even though I'm not getting any right know I don't care because when I can put my 50 Shades audio book on and warm up my vibrator....my body and imagination are in seventh heaven......Thanks Terra