Unlike some of your other diehard fans, I do not enjoy your spontaneous rants, Betty. Your last post excoriates all medical professionals, psychological clinicians, and even all male docs.
I am a 30- year member of that same group, practicing sex and marital therapy for one and all, men and women. I think, like you Betty, that I have made some small impact on the lives of a lot of people over the years. I have certainly not been effective for all, but I’m not perfect.
I have never, ever, diagnosed someone with “anorgasmia.” If the word were used in my office, it came from a worried patient. The term is a formal one, used for insurance reimbursement purposes, which by the way, I don’t think any company covers nor would most of us ever use it. That is the official diagnosis and only means “unable to orgasm.” It does not mean that anyone is sick or terminal but yes, it does mean that someone has a “dysfunction” from the norm.
I have always chosen “pre-orgasmic” as the correct term and lead women to the appropriate literature, websites, absolutely including yours, and send them on their way. The women who more typically don’t orgasm are either plain uneducated or held back by their own anxieties, body issues, provincial upbringings and the worst – child sexual abuse. It is those patients that I treat, sometimes for quite a while, and often very successfully. The treatment is talk therapy combined with at home mirroring, reading materials, self touch and a lot of positive support. Not every woman will go home and buy a mirror and look at her genitals. Sometimes it takes months to get them to do just that.
If the woman is only shy or uneducated, I send her home with a lot of references and positive cheerleading.
The other, even greater, insult is your insinuation that the only reason we professionals see people is for the money. I am sorry that I have to charge people who come to my office for my training and empathy, but after all, I am in business and I do need to keep my financial life healthy too. Your comments suggest we are all charlatans, out here for the bucks. The greatest number of us have trained long and hard and continue to study over the years to achieve a level of expertise that gives us the right to practice.
The major difference between you and Eric and me is that you two are “hands on.” And you teach SEX without dealing with intimacy or relationships, which I do. Thank goodness you guys are around and wouldn’t it be great if more people could see you. Carlin’s willingness to be your “model” is an added plus. I am not a sex coach, I am a therapist. I can speak the language of sex and I can handle a lot of difficult emotional material that is part of partner sex.
I know some of points on this podcast were spot on but leveling the rest of us out here on the front lines was unnecessary. Given the many viewers on your website you just might have convinced some needy souls from making an appointment to visit us. They trust your every word and I think your status insists that you think about that before you put on your megaphone and yell into the great space of the internet.
I love you, princess.