I've always traveled a different path and questioned the conventional rules of wisdom. This has lead me to naturally think of ways to find sensual and sexual fulfillment when you are faced with physical challenges.
Everyone's sex life is going to be tested one way or another in their lifetime. Many people may think that they "are safe" and will not need to know this info as it does not apply to them. The funny thing is that the moment you are dealt the card of aging, chronic illness, injury, or even the side effects of taking meds, your life will instantly change and test your resilience to enjoy life.
My wife has back problems with pain all of the time. She also has arthitis. This make sex hard for us. Do you have any suggestion on position the we could use?
Good question! Back and arthritis pain is a common ailment for so many people. The first thing I would do is to have a discussion with your wife about what is pleasurable and not pleasurable when you’ve had sex in the past. Then discuss what body position and movement is most painful when she is not having sex. Use this information to create the most conducive intimate experience for both of you. Make your discussion a fun and non-critical experience with lose fitting clothing on and not during a time when you are going to have sex. Share what is comfortable for you and what your desires are too.
I recently received an interesting inquiry from a passionate and vibrant 67 year old disabled woman seeking help. She was a lot of fun to talk to and very upfront with her concerns. Annie was upset because the last time she had an orgasm was over two months ago and to put it her words: “ oh dear, I am going nuts, I want my orgasms back!!” I eagerly took the challenge in search of reclaiming her orgasms…
Intrigued, I talked with her for awhile and here is her story. Annie lives with short stature, standing at approximately 4 ½ feet tall, her husband was of “average size” who sadly suddenly died last year.
Lynn Hecht Schafran and Jillian Weinberger of Legal Momentum (a women's legal defense and education fund) say that recent reports from the U.S. Department of Justice, Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) underestimate the number of rapes among persons with disabilities and women. BJS says 182,000 rapes were committed in 2008 while Schafran and Weinberger say it was more than 1,000,000.
Speaking for people with disabilities, I am not surprsed. Rape and sexual assualt crimes among the disabled population is likely to be the most rampant of the silent crimes. Crimes occuring with people with disabilities and the elderly in institutionalized care are even more vulnerable and there are no viable data that document such statistics. Sadly, this fact would be very difficult to report since there is no unbiased support mechanism in place for many residents in instutuionalized care to even report the violent crime.