One of the parts I eagerly anticipated about the Bodysex filming was the smell. What would it be like, I wondered, to be naked and aroused with a circle of women masturbating? Not only what would it look like or sound like or feel like, but what would it smell like?
In one of their weekly videos, I remember Carlin talking about the Bodysex circle in Copenhagen and the musky scent that collected in the room during the group masturbation. My excitement grew at the prospect of gathering with my sisters being filmed for this Bodysex documentary. Among other parts of our ritual, we would masturbate together in Betty's living room, the temple she built over decades to the Goddess of Sexual Love and Abundance.
What I failed to recognize was how intense the smells would be, how deliciously overwhelming. Not only were we sexually aroused and orgasming, but we were also under scorching hot production lights for the filming. The crew was dripping in sweat as our self-sex and increased body temperatures steadily raised the reading in the room.
Moisture collected and pooled in the crevices of my flesh, spilling out in streams. Given that I didn't have a stitch on my body, I felt a lot of empathy for crew members navigating heavy sound and camera equipment, fully clothed, moving around, doing their jobs as the mercury reading rose.
At one point I giggled to myself, relishing the smell and the taste on my tongue. I thought about how much I have loved the smell of female sex, even when I was a girl. When I'd go to the bathroom, with my underwear pulled to my knees while I sat on the toilet, I'd lean over, smelling the crotch of my cotton panties.
As an adult, I shed my underwear, preferring to go commando-style. I liked to feel the breeze tickle my pubic hair when I wore a skirt, or feel the inseam press against my labia when I wore pants.
Recently, however, I've started wearing underwear again, just so that I can take a sniff of my panties when I undress or when I sit on the toilet. The smell of female sex, it is deeply comforting and arousing at the same time.
Now as I go home, leaving the sacred circle we created for Bodysex, I will remember with fondness everything about the experiences this week. I will relish the sensory experiences, and will recall the smell when I sniff the crotch of my underwear.
You can call me a panty sniffer; I like it.