My 5 Year Old Asks, "What if Daddy Put His Penis on Your Vulva?

Wed, 04/07/2010 - 13:08
Submitted by Logan Levkoff

I've been training for this event for over a decade. It's the Olympics of the sex ed industry. It's the first "Talk." (Okay, so technically I have been having conversations with my 5 year old, Maverick, since he was born. We talk about genitals, different families (he has a friend with two daddies), pregnancy, and why it's okay for boys to wear pink. But he's never asked about sex. At least until last night.)

Technically, he didn't really ask. As I was getting ready to put him into bed, he looked at me and whispered, "Mom, I'm going to say something, and then don't say anything else, okay?"

(When he starts a conversation like that, there's no way I'm keeping my mouth shut.)

"Mom, when my sister was in your uterus and we were going to the hospital, I had a funny thought. What if Daddy put his penis on your vulva?"

I stared at him and grinned. "Maverick, that's a wonderful thought!" I waved my husband over. "Honey, get the video camera!" (He looked at me strangely, having missed Mav's earlier statement, but got the camera anyway.)

I sat on our bed and propped Mav up next to me. For the benefit of the video camera (and documenting history) I said, "Today is April 5th, 2010. Maverick just asked me a fantastic question. Mav, what did you say?"

He told the camera. My husband looked at me. "Really? You want to film this?" I gave him the look.

"Did someone tell that to you?" No.
"Did you see that somewhere?" No.
"Did you read it in a book?" No.

"Mommy, I just thought it." My kid, the sex ed prodigy.

"Mav, I am so glad that you told me about your thought. I always want you to be able to talk to me. Your thought is terrific, and now I want to talk to you about it."

So I began. (We had already spoken about eggs and sperm but he had never asked how they meet. So until this point, I hadn't gotten any further.)

"Mav, what do girls have that boys don't have?" He replied. Eggs.

"And what do boys have that girls don't have?" He replied. Sperm.

"Do you know how sperm gets to the egg?" He looked at me and shook his head. No.

"A man puts his penis inside a woman's vulva and vagina. So you, my love, were right."

He smiled.

I beamed. We talked for a few more minutes and my husband signaled to me that the battery on our camera was dying. So we wrapped up. He shut off the camera and said, "That was one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my whole life. And we have it on video."

sexologist, sex educator, intellisexual, author, mom

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You're one of the coolest

Wed, 04/07/2010 - 14:34

You're one of the coolest moms I know... and with a killer name to boot!

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures" - Oscar Wilde

www.afantasticnightmare.com

Sometimes I think our kids

Wed, 04/07/2010 - 15:16

Sometimes I think our kids come up with thease things to prolong bedtime :-)

My little girl who is 4 wanted to check out her vulva, which is fine, but I warned, since it's bedtime, you can look at your vulva while you're in bed. Other than that shes is free to explore.....

Congrats on your experience with your son.  Yay!

Aww, Logan. Congrats! Love

Thu, 04/08/2010 - 10:12
Nancy Schwartzman (not verified)

Aww, Logan. Congrats! Love that you filmed it, and love that you highlight how intuitive kids are when it comes to sex, body parts and how things work. Inspiring, and I'll keep your answers in my mind for the day those questions start coming to me!

Sex-Related Communication

Fri, 04/09/2010 - 10:10

Your post brought a huge grin to my face, and prompted a conversation between my wife and me about our parents talking to us about sex . . . or not.

I love this example of a child who is provided accurate names and anatomical data will recognize things on his own. I thought back to my own wonderings about sex, prompted by a video shown at school of a "weird neighbor" who lured a young girl into his curtained house. That was a "bad thing" and the neighbor would do "bad things" to the girl, but I kept wondering what those bad things might be. What did I come up with? They would get naked and pee on each other. Seriously. That's what I thought, for the longest time. Several years later, itching for more accurate information about things sexual, I started begging my mother to talk to me about sex. "When are you going to tell me about sex?" I asked my mom. "Not now. I'm waiting until you are ten."  I harrassed her for months, but in her mind, waiting until my tenth birthday was significant.

My wife? Her parents didn't talk to her at all. She learned what she did by reading their erotica, hidden in their bedroom.

I'm sincerely heartened by your story, and thank you for sharing it!

=====

http://darkgreeny.com

Clever 5 year old!

Fri, 04/09/2010 - 14:50
Antonia (not verified)

Out of interest, why did you film it?

i love that he said "Mom,

Thu, 04/15/2010 - 12:06
JulieSunday (not verified)

i love that he said "Mom, I'm going to say something, and then don't say anything else, okay?" that is so cute, like he expected you would be *shocked and appalled!* at his idea. good work!

haha... I figured it out

Wed, 06/09/2010 - 06:57
Anonymousone (not verified)

haha... I figured it out myself too, about that age. Simple tabs and slots isn't it. :) It's so obvious and so unoffensive to kids, if they're allowed to think about it.

so awesome!

Thu, 06/24/2010 - 15:23
mizztcasa (not verified)

your kid is so smart! ....and you handled it so well. you flipped the script and made it a joyous idea instead of a shameful/taboo idea. thanks for sharing and for being a wonderful role model.

i cant beleive you filmed

Sat, 04/09/2011 - 17:13
get a bigger penis (not verified)

i cant beleive you filmed him, your funny.

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