Betty Dodson with Carlin Ross

Better Orgasms. Better World.

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I've blogged and talked about hair so much but I'm doing it again anyway. Human's are never anywhere at their most illogically animal than their reactions to hair. It lacks any sophistication of thought or character when we are repulsed or perturbed by it but they don't question their repulsion because usually it conforms with the dominant paradigm.

We are all deeply invested in hair whether it be on our heads, under our arms, on our legs or framing our genitals or not be there at all.

We Suggest: 

Hair vs. Bare

Carmen Dell'Orefice: Why I Let My Hair Go White

Controversial Hair Fashion

"Femininity Doesn't Have to Come From Hair or Traditional Female Archetypes of Appearance"

Is the myth that couples should share a bed one of the biggest 'romance' lies we're telling ourselves? Is this expected sleeping arrangement the best thing for happiness in couples who live together?

I find myself wondering these things... mostly I come to the conclusion that the decision to share living spaces and bedrooms with primary partners and spouses is mostly economic not romantic. However, it is packaged to us as romantic, as how 'normal' couples behave. If people aren't sharing a bed we assume that there's trouble at home or the relationship is no longer sexual.

We Suggest: 

Dating is a Sexual Limbo in Which All of Sexual Health, Technique, & Relationships Come Into Question

The More Open Person in the Relationship Can Get Shut Down by the Closed, Afraid Person

Emerging As My Primary Partner

Turn the Cameras Off!

I have relieved myself of active porn peddling duties. I had to. I had a broken heart to attend to. Last year as my short marriage disintergrated my sexuality was retreating, as it does when I am suffering emotionally.

My ability to orgasm is like the canary in the mineshaft. When its dying I should know that I am enduring suffering beyond my limit. Quite often I keep going down that mine shaft prodding my dead canary and convincing myself it's still alive.

We Suggest: 

Connecting with Your Body to Fuel Desire

Desire & Arousal are Two Very Different Experiences

My Sadness is Gone. My Body Shame is Gone. My Confidence is Back Stronger Than Ever

Acknowledging a Physical Desire Built More Integrity Than Feigning Love

So... I'm a married lady but I also shoot porn. Almost every time I'm interviewed I'm asked whether what I do effects my relationships. The short answer is; "yes it does." However, that effect can be positive as much as it can be negative. This is one of the reasons why my marriage works... because we both shoot and appear in porn and we enjoy watching each other have sex with other people.

However, even with porn out of the equation many folks cannot get their heads around the idea of an open marriage. An open relationship yes... they say... but why get married? These people think a marriage is synonymous with heterosexual monogamy but I beg to differ. When they're presented with a non-monogamous marriage they criticise it as less than or inferior to a monogamous marriage.

We Suggest: 

Dating Within Your Species

The Ability to be Alone is the Condition for the Ability to Love

Intimacy

The More Open Person in the Relationship Can Get Shut Down by the Closed, Afraid Person

La petite mort... an idiom for orgasm. It makes sense to us because sex and death are inextricably entwined human experiences and no others move us more than these two.

My brother died in a car accident when I was 17. I watched him die. After his funeral and wake I went with our mutual friends to a spontaneous house party where I ended up having sex on the bathroom floor with an ex-boyfriend. His skin against mine, his mouth on mine, his tongue, his fingers, the tears down my face, his arms around me, his cock inside my mouth then my cunt, our sweat, our mingled smells, our pleasure, our fluids, our orgasms... they comforted me beyond words, beyond sympathy cards, way beyond the stiff drink.

We Suggest: 

Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop

I Just Couldn't Accept that Sex was Sinful

Sexual Tantra was Supposed to Save Me

Without F*ck There is No Love

First off, I should say that NO this is not a dyslexic attempt to announce my retiring from adult entertainment, so never fear. I am referring to bisexual porn.

Secondly, I want to clarify that whilst I have had to think about sexual labels quite deeply I recognise they don't mean the same thing to everyone. For me bisexual means sexual attraction to cismen and ciswomen, and bisexual porn means porn with cismen and ciswomen that includes homosexual and heterosexual interaction.

We Suggest: 

Homoflexible

Coming Out as Bisexual

Gay, Straight or Otherwise Maurice is a Very Relevant Book

Can You Force Sexual Attraction? Or Rather, Can You Get Past the Lack of It?

This questions is the first on anyones lips when a woman stays in a domestic violence situation or returns to one. It's a fair question but it is often loaded with judgment and the undertone is "you deserve what you get because staying or going back is stupid".

I have, on countless occasions, heard someone wax lyrical about how they would leave the FIRST time anyone laid a hand on them. Good for you I say. However, this is always followed by a comment along the lines of "if a person doesn't leave the first time their partner hits them then there must be something wrong with them/ it's their fault".

We Suggest: 

Do Men Hate Plastic Women or Just Like to Kick Things?

Ending the War Between the Sexes

Combating Violence Against Women - French Style

Siri-ously Disturbing

The one thing we have total dominion over is our own bodies. We must fight for that, it is imperative to everything I believe in. This is the defining principle of freedom.

We Suggest: 

The Perfect Vagina

A Love Letter to Your Pussy (Especially Your Labia)

Betty Dodson's Bodysex Workshop

Viva la Vulva

“Can I tie you?” he asked and I readily agreed. I was on sex camp and he was holding these beautiful bundles of burgundy rope in his hands. This would be my first time experiencing Shibari bondage. I sat between his legs with my back to him and he held my body close to his before shoving me forwards and pushing my head down between my legs.

We Suggest: 

I Say Yes to Everything

Vintage Bondage

Liberation Through Bondage

Claiming Our Kink is a Very Powerful Thing